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I used to be friends with druggies in highschool, I never did any except pot from a dispensary, every single person I knew in highschool that did more than marijuana, shrooms, or peyote either died from OD or Suicide or had their lives spiral into ruin.
Exactly. High school aged boys get jealous and upset and act like the whole world is ending if their girlfriend God forbid speaks to a male friend. Hell, even early to mid 20somethings pull this crap. Just take a read through of all the dysfunctional jealousy posts in this sub alone.
OP, she screwed up, by doing what she thought was right at the time. Meaning she chose to respect her in person relationship. Yeah, she was a shitty friend to you then, but I'm almost willing to bet that guy gave her an ultimatum.
You have to either accept what happened and let it go fully, in order to build something real. Or you need to let her go. If you keep harping at this, trying to “get closure on it” you will wind up destroying what you actually have. Which is a girlfriend that chose to respect the relationship she was in. Granted she could have had the courtesy to tell you, but that's something some people have to learn the hot way on.
If you love her, and want to have a future with her, you have to accept that it happened (doesn't mean you are happy about it) and let it go. She can't unfuck the dude, she can't take back what she did. Continuing to poke at the issue won't do anything good for either of you.