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Theres the death grip comment?
Run!!!
Hi, OP. I’m in somewhat of a similar situation. I’m bisexual but I didn’t realize it until I was 19 (I’m 24 now) and while I’ve been on dates with women I haven’t had sex with one or been in a relationship with one. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I love my boyfriend and I intend to spend the rest of my life with him. I haven’t been with women, but so what? My feelings and attraction for my boyfriend are more important to me than the having those experiences with women. If you feel that exploring your identity is this important to you, I would end the relationship. He has expressed that he want to be monogamous and if you don’t want to be monogamous then you two are not compatible.
OP didn’t die. His wife is not the beneficiary.
Break-up asap. Hopefully, it won't piss her off, and she won't turn you in.
I think you’re reaching by quite a bit here. The dude seems anxious at best.
Chill out with the sexual trauma. You wanna know what he’s about? Go talk to him and have a real conversation. Don’t psychoanalysis the guy. Be a human and just see who he is. I’m sure it’s anxiety.
Title says it all, she cheated you should be done
I work in weddings. Yes, this is a pretty average wedding cost these days. But no one should EVER take out a loan to fund a wedding. If you can’t afford the price tag with what you have, you can’t afford the wedding, period. You both are already in considerable debt that will have a massive impact on you for years to come unfortunately. To take on more is asinine.
Listen, I had a planned elopement last year (just immediate family on location in a special place for us, five minute ceremony and just dinner and hanging out after, no reception) and it was beautiful, relaxing and fulfilling. There are a lot of options for weddings out there, consider them all. Only spending $7k on a really luxurious elopement has opened a pathway for us to be able to buy a house this year. Going into more debt for a wedding would’ve prevented that.
She changed to hook you, now she back to her oldself. Make decisions if you see your future like this, she ain't changing , male validation is more important than you.
Best take!
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She’s refused to see her despite my mother offering to take us out and buy us dinner multiple times. My mother has been hurt by this before and I have continuously had to make excuses each and every time and my mother has been catching on.
This may be salvageae if HE puts in the HONEST EFFORT to deal with HIS EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS. My guess:. Your illness overwhelmed him and he went weak instead of being strong. None of that is your fault. Not even one little bit. Life tested him and found him wanting.
The question you have to ask yourself is …. do you want such a man as that? You're a strong woman. We all know that. Good luck, Sis.
I am from originally a northeastern state and now I’m living a bit more south. So maybe that’s part of it.
Divorce her or you will be stuck forever paying off her debt. Talk to an attorney and they will tell you exactly what you need to do.
Just break up with her. Problem solved. Quit settling for abuse.
In all honesty cold feet concept is bullshit. Sure marriages might work out even if there were cold feet but if you are in a strong healthy happy relationship all you will feel on your wedding day is excitement and love
What exactly would you regret by leaving such a verbally abusive uncaring person? He's not going to change and your kid is going grow up witnessing him treating you poorly.
Once again you evidently can't read. My friend told my boyfriend he'd be and uncle. My friend doesn't know about the situation. Birth control has a history of failing for Both of our families so it's not crazy to think I could be pregnant. “Vague symptoms” is a giant understatement, I told my mom how I was feeling and she said I needed to take a pregnancy test. Me and him have been in a committed relationship for 5 years and very much have talked about pregnancy multiple times. He has said from his own fucking mouth that he wants kids and would be okay with us having them now aside from him thinking he's not really because of his adhd. You have read multiple things completely wrong and filled your entire reply with baseless assumptions. Please for the love of god please learn how to read before you try to give advice on things
“Have you two talked?”
It’s the issue in most of these posts
That’s nasty
I bet your browser history would tell quite a story, lol
That’s nasty
Hey OP, while I do definitely feel like this is something to be addressed, I don't think this is a huge transgression.
He found an opportunity to vent to “the boys”. But it probably isn't reflective of the totality of the way he feels about you.
Was it inappropriate? Yes. But the important thing is that he's apologised, learned from it, and will adjust his behaviour in the future.
To me, once he's done that, I think it's important to move past it and enjoy your relationship rather than dwelling on it.
God this is such a dumb thread. Dumb because of gender reveal parties. Dumb because people are idiots live and in this scenario of course she'd be annoyed by not knowing the gender via the cake like she thought she would. But also Dumb because who fucking cares what internet strangers think of you. Tell your girlfriend those people don't matter, focus on the excitement that you're having a boy, and move on.
Wtf? Sho it isn't allowed to just drink with friends from other genders? Don't blame her for those 3 things. She told him that she got a boyfriend and stopped it when it got to worse, offcourse she needs to tell the boyfriend but a real friend is trustworthy with those 3 things.
Maybe don't get yourself into situations where your girlfriend is cockblocking you. As in, be single or don't put yourself there in the first place.
Very good points. He did send me pics and videos during the trip as proof but just did not post much so if I was not real that person would have done some digging through his guys instagram accounts. I also have been cheated on and I do agree that there are some similarities here
I mean it's casual so I don't expect him to be and I don't want a boyfriend but yea would feel nice to feel wanted lol. Especially as it didn't start as just fuck buddy's. Not sure how to proceed
Interesting how Mormonism doesn't condemn divorce while being extreme in other areas. Gotta love organized religion! Purity snobs indeed…
So we're back to the selling of indulgences.
Sounds like one of those things he should have taken to his grave but now that the truth is out you're left with two choices: Be upset about it or take this opportunity to learn how to make the sex better. The thing with sex is that it's 100% communication based. Talk about it. Ask him what he liked and how he would like you to do things. That resolves the anxiety. He resolves any hangups and the relationship progresses from there.
So it is ok if he gets really controlling with you, isolates you from everyone and starts to abuse you because the poor him was cheated on? That is a reason, not an excuse.
It's gonna hurt their feelings, and that's OK> Trying to have sex when you have dirty junk is a foul and even if it hurts, hopefully your guy will be better off for the knowledge and start to wash/properly clean?
If she can afford the place on her own, she can afford something else. Never let anyone promise you that you will get your security deposit back when you aren’t living there. Stuff happens and it could be devastating. Mixing money up in a breakup is a terrible idea.
Elsa Jean and other petite pornstars don't look “fully developed” either lmao. Good god, how can so many women not know that there are different sized women? Ive dated F cupped teens and moms in their 30s with 3 kids who were size 0 pants, A cup with zero stretch marks. The mom in her 30s honestly looked younger.
Is this the shit guys have to put up with now? Women projecting their insecurities into porn habits and accusing men of being pedophiles because porn isn't labeled correctly? We all might as well just go after the younger ones since we have to deal with this shit for 3 decades.
This !
I agree completely. This is exhausting. For a minute, I was trying to figure out exactly how he thought I should react. But I can't do that. It's not who I am as a person. To be fair, this is new behavior, but I'm over it, and I'm over this relationship. I just wanted to get input on the situation and find out if there was a way to approach this that would shut down the behavior and maybe salvage the relationship.
I feel like your wife should support you and understand this is your literal child.
He's unlikely to change. You can't make him change. This idea of banning him from your spaces is just going to turn into fights.
You either accept his behavior, or don't and break up.
In the future, when you see a guy's place for the first time, understand that you're seeing the best version of how he keeps his place. It only gets worse when he gets comfortable with you.
Ew. That’s unfair. OP, please don’t let him gaslight and manipulate you into believing you committed some major crime. You felt embarrassed about your preference, you let him believe you liked the more intellectual stuff, but you knew he would judge your actual preference and that’s why you kept it to yourself. You’re not an entirely different person, you’re still smart and successful, you work a stressful job with great accomplishments. And you choose to unwind in a “silly” way. That’s more than okay. His reaction to this is a red flag. Leave him, and spend a weekend sipping wine in the tub and flipping through your favorite book.
Bigotry is like an infection on your finger. You can either choose to amputate the finger or risk losing it all.
It’s one thing if you’re staying home and not having to work, quite another if you’re also working full time
Good questions, I’ll write these down 🙂 thank you.
Is this some kinda fuckin religious crap
Yelling isnt gaslighting, jesus look up what that means.
This is a issue with you…maybe seek therapy, but him watching porn in his own space on his own time is his business and pretty normal for most men and women. You're 21, most of your future partners will probably have some kind of relationship with porn and you will need to learn how to deal with that or how to define your boundaries with them so this doesn't become a bigger issue.
Doesn’t really matter, you’re only FWB. Why r u still in an fwb only situation after 8 months?
I realize I might sound too old-schooled in this topic
I’ve seen stories from people older than both you and your gf, that when the gf asked the bf for an open relationship, the bf dumped her on the spot, as soon as the words left her mouth (her AP partner also dumped her on the same day when he found out she wasn’t single).
You’re not too old-school. If you don’t want an open relationship, say no.
The problem is that they talk and he lies. I’m sure this is only the Tip of the iceberg.
Girl RUN. Your boyfriend is wildly insecure and not in a cute way. He is trying to manipulate and control you. You did nothing wrong, but you will if you keep this guy in yours and your kids life.
Ignoring them is the best. They have no power over her. OP, go live your best life. Let those losers live in the hell they created. Go walk in the sun.