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I think I lose either way. I can on-line with my parent's disapproval of him as long as he and them can at least be cordial. But my parents also just had a situation with my sister, where they told her that her bf is not welcome around the family ever, only her and any kids they have. Mind you, my sister's situation is a bit more extreme and there were a list of reasons why my parents made that decision.
Hair that isn’t yours. Phone guarding. Long bathroom sessions. Wet tires in a dry garage. Still had dating apps on his phone he “forgot” to delete (could’ve done that while in the bathroom multiple times). Girl. Really.
Maybe it’s all innocent, but it sure doesn’t read that way. And an interlock device? Doesn’t sound as if he makes solid choices.
Him having to go back to Oregon IS convenient, for you. Start getting your ducks in a row so you can take your children and leave. Whilst you still have your dignity. What he said to you was not just unnecessary, it was him gaslighting you. If he hasn't already engaged in cheating then he's going to soon and he'd tell you how that's your fault too. He's a horrible person and you need to get out.