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She could have OCD which makes her cleaning standards very high, but what is never okay is name calling and degrading you. You deserve a partner that tried to work with you, not just blow up at you for not meeting their standards. Emotional abuse is still abuse. Not to meet the Reddit “break up” stereotype, but I would leave if I were you.
You’re in the right here. You can’t exist in a professional environment if you refuse one to one interactions with people of the opposite sex. Other women exist. Pretending they don’t is silly. If your gf doesn’t trust you, she should move on.
You’re tripping, and your emotional reactions aren’t making this situation any better.
Both your gf and the dude have partners, so if she’d say “I have a boyfriend” he’d probably say “I have a girlfriend”. It sounds like she’s already trying to avoid him and she’s been honest with you. It’s so exhausting for us women to constantly have men be friendly, only to have ulterior motives. But if you call them out on it, you get the typical “I was just being nice”, “men can’t even give compliments nowadays” or “I wasn’t interested anyway”, as if we were the crazy ones. We’ve been conditioned to people please and keep the peace for years, I wish that sometimes it’s as simple as saying that you’re not interested.
I could write an essay on how exhausting and terrifying it is to protect ourselves as women, but I think the amount of news articles about men getting violent after being rejected says a lot.
mandatory PSA; not all men and of course this might not be the reason your gf does this, just my observation
The totally had sex.