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But they don’t see it as weird?
I’d ask him if you can poop on his face in return but he might actually be into that, since he seems to want to fulfil every porn fantasy he’s ever come across. Might be best to just cut your losses on this one, nobody should ever pressure you into bedroom stuff you’re not up for.
Oh man. This isn’t your gf brother, this is a monster that is toying with your heart. It’s embarrassing to admit that I have been in this situation before. She is carrying on like she doesn’t know right from wrong. You will never have peace, AND this relationship. You need to choose peace.
Um. It’s called living life and following your dreams? Abandoned? She would have had more than enough notice this was happening. This takes extreme strategic planning to hike safely.
I felt so rambling already, but there are things I do enjoy very much about her, and she still feels like home, and my best friend in many ways. But we can't go more than a day or two without these explosions. I guess you are right, I'm not getting anything out of it anymore, I think I just keep hoping it will change and she will see that she's had some faults here too and we could work through them and get back to where we were. But it seems increasingly unlikely.
I would bet he didn’t “mean” it. It doesn’t sound like anything really fundamentally between you two was bubbling up that is divorce-worthy in anyone’s mind. Just normal life stress and money. I think if you want, this is quite salvageable.
HOWEVER, and this is very important: this man is not dealing with his problems like an adult. Something stressful is happening in your lives, and he is not processing it in an acceptable manner. Therefore, he’s winding himself up about these things instead of trying to fix them for his own sake or learning to make peace with what he can’t change. And more importantly, he is allowing himself to lash out at you because of his stress and anxiety. And that’s not acceptable.
I actually sympathize with him a little bit. I feel these same feelings. I am experienced and mature enough to know better than to ever want to leave, and to understand that all of my very worst problems are ones I make or abet for myself. And my first reaction to being stressed and overwhelmed is always anger. So I get that, when he was already worked up, the idea of staying with the in-laws probably made him even more upset. But he reacted like a badly behaved teenager, not a grown man with a wife.
Your husband owes you grace. He owes you kindness and understanding, especially when you make mistakes and things are very hot. He owes it to you to figure his internal feelings out and deal with them in a way that does not cause him to lash out at you and say wicked things to you just to hurt you. That’s really naked to learn for some young men. We’re taught that we shouldn’t let others see or feel the impact of our emotions, but our fathers don’t teach us that anger is an emotion, and that letting your loved ones suffer from your anger is one of the worst things you can do. Even if he really did mean it, he owes it to you not to simmer angrily for months, considering divorce without ever clueing you in. He owes it to you to make you a part of his life, and to be a part of yours.
So while I think it’s very salvageable, I also don’t know that you need to throw yourself after this boy. I don’t think he’s doing a good job of being a partner or a husband. So it’s up to you. But if you stay with him, you need to make it clear that divorce is not a threat you make because you’re stressed or angry, and that next time you’ll be going through with it. You need to make him understand that he has to learn to deal with his emotions in a way that doesn’t hurt you or any other loved ones, and that you are his partner and someone to lean on and confide in, not lash out at. You’re going through just as much as he is by uprooting your life to follow your dream. And you need to make sure he sticks to it if he agrees to learn and grow. Because otherwise, this guy is just a dud.
Uses hookup app, hooks up, feels used…interesting.
cool thanks
You date a guy you met through family. You didn't grow up together and aren't related. It is like dating a family friend kid more than dating a cousin. The only reason it is a bit weird is because his mum married into the family.
So yes, if someone hears 'I dated my step cousin', its a bit stranger. If you say you dated a guy you met recently whose mum recently married your uncle, it becomes a lot less weird. Your brother is a dick and your family is frankly horrible.
You are so very young with so much a head of you. Do not let these people destroy your life simply because they share your dna. Disown them and live your life. It will be incredibly nude but I promise you it is worth it. An introvert can have friends too. There are support groups for people abandoned by their family. Book clubs if you are a reader. Join a running club, you don't even have to talk to people if you aren't up for it in the beginning.
I don't know if you on-line at home or if you have a job. If you don't online at home, cutting them off will be easy. If you do, consider them terrible roommates and begin making a plan to leave. You ll be okay.
18 and 23 isn't a college couple, it's a “in high school or barely put of it” and “graduated college 1 or 2 years ago” couple
Fair point.
You don’t marry someone that denies your children. You are a complete package. That’s being desperate for a man. You never thought you’d meet his parents at your home or have to hide your kids for Christmas holiday ever. If he’s ashamed of your kids then he’s ashamed of you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I wouldn’t even want his penis anywhere near me if he’s still healing from a yeast infection.. you’ll live
He's already taken off the gloves by threatening to breakup unless you have more sex with him. So at this point it's fair tell them that you'd probably be having more sex with him if he took better care of himself. You can always couch in health related concerns. But for him to put on 50 lbs. and not believe that would affect your attraction to him is just bizarre.
I have been in your situation before and listen to me when I tell you do NOT date hardcore Catholic guys, they have wayyyyy too many hang ups about sex despite the fact that they desperately want it and will have it. The fact that he blames you for his guilt makes it worse.
Even if he was being kind to you, regretting sexual activity after the fact is a big red flag that he shouldn't be having it. If you want a sexual relationship with a practicing Catholic you have to marry them. Not worth the trouble unless you're also a practicing Catholic. Which I also don't recommend.
It's a performance. Having been married to someone exactly like this before, I can give you my benefit of hindsight.
He's currently going through ticking off all the boxes he can think of to get back in. None of it is real. It's just strategy.
My ex did the same. He was so distraught, so convincing. But I was just done, and when he finally realized nothing he did would get me back, his whole demeanor changed instantly. Back to that aloof, contemptuous monster that always looked at me like I was gum on his shoe. One second he was crying and begging, and the next all emotion was turned off like a light switch and he just said “fine, then I'm telling everyone this divorce was all your fault.”
Don't buy it.
Same, OP must be going crazy.
“Situationship” “Really Like This Guy”. And you’re worried about his mom and sisters affairs? Girl u have red flags in your own relationship u need to deal with first. Good Luck
Do you have an office in your home, or are you working in the living space?
Can you employ headphones?
I’d basically ignore him at this point, probably. Or have headphones on, and when he talks, hold up a sign like “still working!” ?