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Definitely not a thing lol
Okay, well, is it common or something? I’ve never heard of it.
It’s like last year there was a RASH of AITA posts and the like where OP was being completely reasonable and then some nightmare person turned up in their life and said them being a nightmare was their autism so it’s fine and acceptable and everyone jumped to be like “oh hell no this is just nightmare behaviour” but there were just so MANY of those posts it started to feel like it was feeding some person’s hate boner for autism.
When an OP is describing some despicable behaviour and saying “oh they said it’s because of their disability/gender identity/orientation/race” it immediately calls the validity of the post into question, especially when the behaviour doesn’t match ANY typical issues or challenges associated with people in those communities. It’s like OP refuses to separate the asshole behaviour from the Identity, or disingenuously mis-associates.
Like if your husband is suddenly talking about femboy and GNC issues and identity, I’d do some goddamn reading on the subject and pretty quickly realize that what this guy was doing is not the typical journey or behaviour of trans/NB/genderfluid people. At all.
It’s reading like OP just threw up her hands and yelled “why can’t you just be a NORMAL MAN!?” after putting zero thought or effort into any of this. If a spouse gave a shit they’d probably put some energy into figuring out what’s up with their other half before pivoting to compulsive hetero ultimatums and acting like they actually did anything to address the real problem.
Whenever you want. Wherher it is taken seriously or not is a different story though.
Did you really just ask if I fucked someone else? I’m fucking 2 of your friends right now.
My money is on its fake
Then you need to decide what you feel is right, what you can online with. Because let’s be honest, there are a lot of girls that age who like to have sex with older guys or use their sexuality to get what they want. On the flip side, there are a lot of men who seek out positions where they’ll have power over younger women and use that to pressure younger women into sex.
I honestly don’t know what I would do in your position, other than try to think about all the possible scenarios that could come from reporting or not reporting, and decide which one you would be able to on-line with. It’s not an easy decision.
But again, no matter what happens, you should leave him. At his age, he should be able to make a commitment to you and stick to it, but obviously, he can’t. Staying with him will just show him that his commitment is only valid until the next thrill comes along.
Completely illegal and also an enmeshment that is extremely unhealthy for your mother and sister. Your mother is actually making your sister's condition worse by inserting herself rather than by removing herself from the equation entirely and forcing your sister to work it out. She is a very unwell woman.
How is vacation 'whatever your mother plans'??? Honestly, rather than worrying about the details of your sister, mother, and niece you should focus on getting yourself away from those people.
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Have you seen a Dr. about this OP? There are medicines for PE combined with Viagra etc that can really help.
It sounds like it was just a case of misunderstanding. Why don’t you try to book a show for the band if you are itching to get more dates?
Y’all are both abusive to each other. This is not something the two of you can come back from. It’s just too incredibly toxic. Move on, get therapy, work on your own happiness, and don’t play the knight in shining armor to “save” anyone.
From OP comments:
He equates his gf swimming naked to him going to a strip club, and her being hot in public to making love. Sorry OP but you need to work on your insecurities. The only person who sees what she does as sexual is you.
What should I do about this behaviour?
1st- don't get preg again 2nd- paternity test 3rd counseling 4th-threr doesn't work move on
Step one is to have this same conversation WITH HER. No ultimatums, no drama, just stay calm and truthful. It will either work out or it won’t, and like u/bryanormike said you either trust her or you are working on trusting her again, or you don’t trust her and you move on. It might seem like the weight of the world on your shoulders, but odds are high that you already know which way this is going to go.
Perfect
She told you that she has commitment issues and is not interested in a relationship with you…
As harsh that may sound, but what would you be waiting for?
You sure can stay hold nightly conversation as a friend with her but thats it. And as long as you jold your hope her answer may change, it will always hurt you
Imagine if she found her birth mother on her own and “found out” that way….
You did the right thing.
Her partner is out of line, but he's reacting to seeing the person he loves most in immense pain. It's not acceptable, but it is understandable.
You can comfort him without knowing the specific details of whatever his sister did.
Since you're getting married, one thing that is your business is how much financial help he's giving his parents.
Wise move! Do yourself a favor and block him anywhere he may be and DO NOT just check in on him even by just looking at any social media he has. Don't feed his memory at all in any way. Pretend he passed away many years ago (not to be morbid, just pretend like he no longer even exists).
Yeah I don’t want to be though. Any ideas on a kind way to communicate that?
OP's girl has a different view and yall are quick to call her stupid and comment on her critical thinking skills? Yaaaa maybe she dodged a bullet.
Getting super sheepy vibes from this thread
Call the police, collect your ID, belongings and disappear ASAP.
He doesn't really fear her, he is trying to manipulate her.
I asked her about this and she said she does enjoy the food from his culture and has mentioned it to him once but she was not going to have sex in exchange for a meal.
I hope you get clarity! It's possible he's feeling out the popular dark romantic genre. It's big right now ( booktok is FULL of it currently) and there's a naked market for it.
It's actually kind of fascinating to me, because I love a morally grey MMC, but I can't handle anything that has rape that's not clearly CNC. It makes me feel ill. So many women are into dark romance, and some of it is really dark. None of these women actually want to be raped, but the fantasy of it ( enemies to lovers, stalker romance) is something they enjoy. The reality of living it is awful. The escape of reading it or writing it is totally more common than a lot of people realize.
As long as fantasy vs reality is something he is really clear on, it may not be an issue of him being a sketchy person in any way.
I hope this isn’t true.
He apologized and admitted wrong doing, then said he would not do it again. There was no reason to bring it up again. You knew exactly why he liked the picture, but you just wanted a reason to be upset at him again. Move on. Yes he was wrong, but now you are.
Talk to him about it! Just be honest that you love knowing that he’s attracted to you, but you’re starting to feel like your conversations focus too much on your looks. Reassure him that you know he means well, but that it’s actually making you feel like your looks are the most important thing about you, and that’s been bumming you out. If he’s complimenting you to make you feel special, then this is very valuable feedback for him! He might not realize that his compliments can come across as objectifying and genuinely think he’s being sweet by giving you what our culture says women value.
It’s not a crime but it is a fundamental flaw to invade someone’s privacy. Nobody owes you their whole life.
I'd have to first check in on the husband to see if he is allowing his wife to sleep with other people first. Make sure it's consensual or that they have an open marriage. If so, I'd just butt out of it. All is fine in my book at that point.
However, if I found out they were exclusive, I'd tell my wife (assuming I'm in your position) to cut ties with her friend. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that. I'd make my wife choose her or me. Condoning cheating is insanely disrespectful to me. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who is going to allow cheating to happen.
With ties cut, we'd go to the husband together and inform him. I'd ask my wife if she had any solid proof and present it to the husband, but if not, I'd try to tell him to be suspicious and look into it himself, go through her phone and whatnot.
Then, I'd try and find better friends. Both for me and my wife.
From what OP says, they only text. It's every few weeks where most of the conversation is about job searching in their field of work. Sounds more like OP has some insecurities that are popping up. Specially for it to be over someone she doesn't see IR, and where he's read all their innocent texts.
For what it’s worth, I actually don’t think this is a big deal. She would like to spend time with her friends. It’s not one on one time with an ex, he just happens to be part of the old friends group. And it’s normal when visiting friends to stay at their place.
“It’s not his fault”?
It’s entirely his fault. If he actually loved you he’d be supportive of whatever you wanted for your future because that benefits him too.
This is abuse. Textbook abuse actually. Like others mentioned it’s about his ability to control you. If you get fired and have no degree you depend on him more. If your friends and family aren’t around, you can only turn to him.
Time for a divorce. You’re young enough to finish your degree and everything still. Fix it before it’s too late.
Man, I’d be out. There’s no way I would be able to put my future kids in a situation where their classmates could find a video of their mom getting railed and then getting bullied mercilessly for it.
Good point!
That cat needs to go out more often
She cheated on him and broke up with him, so..
You gotta do what's right for you, and if they are good friends then they will both understand and distance themselves from these awful people.
Don't keep this stuff secret. Let it out and let the chips fall where they may. Shitty people often rely on the discretion of good people so their social status is not harmed and there is no good reason to do it in this case, especially if it exposes more shitty people that you would want to remove from your life.
Go by yourself or with a friend. Accept that each of you have things you can and cannot do and decide if this is a dealbreaker or not. But trying to force him to do something he’s not comfortable with and continuing to push him about it is not ok.
Get a lawyer, split your finances, serve him a formal revocation notice, get therapy and move on.
You can on my make it work if he wants too. You have him a change and he purposefully chose to continue cheating. Let him go he’s not the prize, you are.
If you sincerely want to have a “real” relationship, you need to knock off the casual sex bullshit. I’m old enough to be your parent. I’ve had lots of relationships, casual and serious. I can tell you one thing, FWB relationships seem like a good idea but often get messy. You know the saying about doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results, right? Also, if you’ve developed a reputation as a player, there is a good possibility that your ideal partner doesn’t want anything to do with you. You want a partner that is kind and thoughtful and cares about you? Then you need to be that person as well.