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  1. Cooking for people creates intimate dinner parties which is my preferred mode of socialization. Creating a menu, buying ingredients , cleaning the house before and after, doing all the cooking. This is all TREMENDOUS effort. There is nothing selfish about all of this effort. You want to enjoy time with your friends, and you are willing to do the work to create a nice setting. Ridiculous to say you do this because, “You crave validation”. Your boyfriend is a thoughtless idiot who imagines himself as some kind of armchair psychologist. Do not take his his empty words to heart.

  2. Hello /u/ThrowRApotato61,

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  3. The problem is. My buddy dated her a couple years ago but he's a major piece of crap so when he pumped a bunch of stuff into my head about her I tried to disregard it because in person and when she's at my house she's the tiniest lil innocent loving caring soul ever.

    I understand I may have trust issues but it's because of her and my past relationship. She always has 8 different stories for everything.

    The guy she was talking to when we first started banging, I brought him up before I even knew, she was like “that kids a loser blah blah blah” just to find out she was snap chatting him. Her story went from

    I know who he is but he's not my friend

    To

    He messages me asking to buy pot

    To

    We talk sometimes but we don't flirt

    To us being in a relationship on Facebook and him commenting on it and sending me screenshots of her asking to come over

    I brought it to her attention and broke it off but she basically said she didn't know if I was a person she wanted to be with yet so she was keeping her options open(understandable and that's fine) so we got back together but she LIED about it so it stayed with me and made me cautious

    And like random shit like her saying when we first started dating that her dad bought her a Porsche 911?? but he's a complete crackhead and it doesn't take rocket science to come to a conclusion that it's a lie. I told her I'd help her work on her compulsive lieung but she perpetuates it and like I know this has nothing to do with the pregnancy but Its why I don't trust that it's mine. (Even though I'm in contact with her all the time and have her location) the trust thing trump's it all.

    Is there any hope? I'm young I could bang whoever I want and she's not keeping the kid but damn…. I like her SOOOOO much

  4. Never let a mn tell you he doesn’t want you twice. Time to pack and go. Your relationship is toxic. He’s punching walls, treats u like shit.. what else do you want to see before calling it quits.

  5. Communicate. Hey babe seems like you lost interest what's up? If you get some BS answer or she ghosts you you have your answer.

  6. And he's twice my age and we started dating when I was technically still a minor, BUT THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW!

  7. I do have my mom but she difficult and they're two different personality. I don't want the cordial relationship they have with each other the get ruined because of my mom. Also is not much of division of side for the wedding but the fact that she has no one that she loves able to come in and …. Idk what to do? I know she wants her family but they are either death, too sick or she has no relationship with them and when it comes to her friends like I said she can't seem to make good connection, people are too mean or just out there using people( not all but some) I'm her best friend before we started dating and now we married

  8. Ahh I meant all ages as in much much older, I should’ve specified I’m sorry!! But yeah, I know I really do it’s just so very difficult to just leave I have tried, believe me

  9. Beyond it being cringe, he could easily rap without being misogynistic and gross and yet he chooses not to. This guy sounds like a loser

  10. So yes, you really can’t see how you are being terrible here. Game plan…

    Decide if sex with your bf is bad enough to be a dealbreaker. If yes, go to step 2, if no, this is your life now.

    2a. Tell your boyfriend you want to improve things, this is something for you to fix together. Read some books, do some research, try some stuff. Help with meal planning, help with grocery shopping, ask to do more active things that will help him get in shape.

    2b. If one of you isn’t willing to work on it, break up.

    Is sex life improved? Then go back to step one and decide if it’s improved enough. Keep going through the cycle till you are happy with your sex life or you land on 2b and someone’s not willing to work on it.

    If your answer, in a monogamous relationship, is to suggest you and you alone go fuck other people, you are a garbage human. Stop the damn pity party and painting yourself as a victim. Work on it or break up.

  11. I just want to say I am trying to work on myself and I go to therapy twice a week to discuss my obsessive behavior (along with other things such as bulimia). I only started doing this a few weeks ago so there isnt much of a progress so far but baby steps i guess.

  12. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

    I (31F) been dating my bf (33M) for just over a month and he’s had a hard time maintaining his erection during sex. He doesn’t cum from sex and usually needs to jerk off. Fortunately he stays very hot long enough for me to cum most of the time (he says I cum pretty quickly compared to others he’s been with). He doesn’t seem to think his ED issue is a problem since I finish first, but the sex doesn’t last long and sometimes he can’t stay naked long enough for me to cum. This is not the way I imagined sex with anyone I’d want to be with long-term. I also wonder about how this would affect our ability to have kids. He looked into a non-invasive treatment and they quoted ~$1400, and he asked if I could share the costs or do a ratio split of some sort. I think sharing costs is unnecessary since it’s his body and it’s a heath procedure with lifelong outcomes. He said he’s only considering the procedure for me and he’s fine with his situation otherwise. I wouldn’t ask him to share costs of an IUD given it’s my body. I think he should foot his own medical bills especially this early on in the relationship. Any advice on how to handle the situation?

  13. I know it hurts. Getting attached to the unattached hurts. Look at it as a lesson learned and know that you’ll be okay.

  14. exactly, this Isn't even about “loyalty” or even choosing her over him or making something up – all of which are potentially wrong. It is that, even in this made up crazy scenario, both of them think that violence, repeated physical abuse, is an acceptable response.

    I hope to teach my son that there are people in the world who will do and say things we both disagree with. That people we love may sometimes hurt us by what they say or feel. But violence doesn't fix or change their feelings or really express that what they have done is hurtful. An eye for an eye leaves the world blind. I would hope that he would learn to maturely speak his mind, explain his position, live his values. And if that conflicts with someone he is with, that he has the wisdom to see the disconnect and move on.

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