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Anabelleleigh, 33 y.o.
Location: United States
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Show him the letter
Him doing that while in a relationship is disrespectful to you, and is definitely a boundary that you should have and should enforce.
But ask yourself, do you follow, in any media type, anyone who is in similar poses or states of dress? Think movie stars, musicians, other celebrities?
Now ask yourself why it’s okay for you to fantasise about [insert celebrity name] to watch all their movies/videos, to read all the gossip about them, to follow them on social media etc.
While most of them will be fine, there will be a few where the line has been crossed, where you have been aroused by the thought of them. This is the same disrespect that he is showing your relationship, and yet you get to continue with it because they are not borderline SWers.
If my partner prioritized an affair over our child, there’d be no coming back from it.