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My mom and I had a good discussion and when I told her she was so happy, which threw me for a loop. It was poor communication that has since been resolved
So you’re uncomfortable because you can’t have sex. That’s funny. You have an emotional connection, yet, you can’t wait.
Nurse here. Honestly it sounds like her hormones are all kinds out of normal. Talk to her and express your concerns. Come from a loving place don’t be mean that will put her on the defense. Say something along the lines like hey I noticed XYZ and I’m concerned for you do you feel ok? Maybe we should talk to your doc if your not… she will probably be feeling guilty as it is or feel like she’s not enough. So approaching it and letting her know you love her will go way further.
I think he’s just insecure. We’ve talked about it and I’ve explicitly said I am not dissatisfied (quite the opposite!). We have sex regularly, so I definitely don’t feel that I’m replacing sex with masturbation.
Assuming things like, she will calm down at some point, … yeah nah.
She's making you her caregiver, not her partner. Nothing here what you have described is equal partnership material.
Unfortunately bringing a matter like this, up with a person like her, is just going to go nowhere.
She may think her carelessness is endearing and cute, but people like that mostly end up learning the nude way. Run for the hills mate
yes basically. He always brags about how well he treats me to others and fails to know his behaviours are in fact hurting me.
After this most recent bout I realise it’s best to be honest, I won’t block her for now but will ask for space, if she messages again I’ll be honest
I'm not even going to respond because that was needlessly hostile. Have a good day.
Because he might actually like you for real. Or maybe you’re a security blanket for him. I don’t know, ask him. But nevertheless, you can’t stop him from falling for a real life person. You haven’t even met. And you should move on, if it hurts you this much.
If you asked her or both deicide to be in a relationship, and you are calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend surely that means you are exclusive? Surely you don't have to have that chat or am I naive?
You gotta tell us what it is or this makes no sense.
Nah, don’t go to the wedding? Why would you go? That’s ridiculous. Take him to court again for the child support.
Your mum raised you but your wife (and theoretical children) should now be your main priority. Why are you tolerating your mum being disrespectful to your wife? You need to shut that down…
“After many times talking about weight”
You have no idea how she was in his fantasy, you can't see in his head, his imagination isn't a photocopier. Like literally everyone has said, you're way off base
As a girl, I think she's trying to seem detached. Usually, if I really have no feelings for them I just won't send them anything unless we actually ended on good terms. You asking this question does make me think you still have feelings for her because you still care to read into the things she's doing. I think you guys need to actually talk about if you really want to be no-contact, if there's still feelings, and if this is really over like you want/need it to be. I think it's time to just cut the BS and get to the point. It seems like she's dancing around something and since you're replying she's getting the response she wants. You're both 22, have an adult conversation.
Well that would certainly explain how they share so many interests
It is obvious to me that your bf was very horny and needed to “release”.
Since you did not refuse him undressing you, he conveniently interpreted it as a sign that you wanted to have sex.
Don’t get me wrong. Your bf did not understand your boundaries and did not care much to understand. You deserve someone better.
Y'all think I love him cause he's nude and it's not true we have been friend since we were 10, we never started this until we started dating tbh we've always had a bond, and no I think he can change his racist ways
I find your point of view to be incredibly problematic and victim-blaming. Controlling a man’s reaction is not a woman’s responsibility. Do we do it all the time to avoid violence? Absolutely. But shifting the responsibility for men’s actions to women is very dangerous and just continues the narrative that men shouldn’t be held accountable.
Why are you answering my question with a question?
just leave her… that idea is so sick
I tried to respond earlier but couldn’t. Anyway if you trust him you might have a heart to heart because he knows your bf well. Just make sure he can keep a confidence.
No, she has to stop behaving that way. You can always control your actions. She just doesn't try. Do not accept this bullshit and give her coffee. Make her learn how to behave.
don’t even think about it – you will make yourself look foolish, not very “cool”. You can’t win against the pop star in this situation especially since he gives her private music lessons. Living well is the best revenge. That means you make your best life and on-line well and don’t even worry/think about her anymore. She loves music and is sort of naive? This guy has her wrapped around his finger and there is nothing you can do except move on
I was in similar situation, and it´s probably not good idea to do move that fast, but for me things really went well. This relationship really healed me and now we have been together for years, and we are engaged, and we are very happy and very much in love. But things can also go so wrong if you move that fast, i just wanted to tell that sometimes things can aslo endup well. You should do what feels right for you, and i also suggest you to go to theraphy, i promise it will help you a lot.
Her dad is going to say no no matter what. The fact that they can’t inform the parents when they met, how they met or why he’s converted without having previous permission to even be seeing her just equals this was never going to work.
I get the feeling the girl knows this but wants to enjoy “freedom” which is nice but this relationship sounds deeeeeply onside. She hasn’t gave up anything for him.
That's the difference. You are trying to be mature while she's just pouting. It sounds like she doesn't get out much so this may not be a huge issue but next time, just shoot her a I'm going to sleep text.
Don't breakup or even raise it unless you are actively, immediately doing it. Decide to do it or don't.
If you have concerns, ie whatever is motivating you to want to break up, then discuss those directly. Communicate.
But as it stands you're either hoping the threat of the breakup changes her or you really are just dragging it out because of your own lack of willpower and dragging her through the dirt in the process.
Disagree. I “knew” more at a younger age, but the time lasted forever.
Yeah OP you could find a nice Asian guy! He’d love that – everyone wins!
If he has bear hands, there's bigger issues here.
Sounds like a relationship that has ran its course.
I'm 32 and I cannot possibly imagine dating a 20-year-old. The difference in maturity and life experiences would just be too ridiculous. Not only that, 20 year olds practically feel like children to me. I would be very skeptical of a dude who wants to date someone that young.
No way would i do this if i were you. Especially with her best friend. Your relationship will blow up and probably your marriage. Every post on reddit about this is about how they wished they had never done it. If you have such a great marriage and relationship i would tell your wife you aren’t interested. Tell her you want to keep it just the two of you.
He doesn’t have empathy for you. How could he if his diagnosis is real? He wants to isolate you from your mom too. You are being really naive.
You conquer the fear by pre planning what you will do and say.
Figure out your top fears.
It’s a decision, not a debate.
If you have safety issues. Figure out how to ensure or fix it.
Good luck.
Wow. Zero compassion for what I want. Did you apply empathy?
I do care about him. I also care about sharing with the 40 some-odd people in the room I'm close to WHY I love him. Part of the point here is a public commitment, and I'm very close with these people and really want to share with them, as part of this commitment, why after 41 years alone I've chosen to walk the rest of my life with this guy.
I can relate to this story. Almost a decade ago now, the first bf I ever had did this same thing and lied to me about being a virgin/having no sexual history. I found out accidentally from one of his friends after we broke up that it was a lie. It was just one of MANY things he’d lied about. If your gf lied to you about something like this, I doubt it’s the only thing she’s lied about. How will you trust her again?
Crushes are ok, you’re human. Fighting it makes it worse, I bet you if you just talked and spent some time with your SIL (in a non romantic way and not about your feelings just as a family hangout) the crush will go away cause you’ll get to see her faults and see her as a human. It’s a crush, it’s the idealized version of her which probably makes her similar to your wife. It’s nothing serious.
Relationship advice shouldn't consist of “Break up with them” or “stay with them”. I appreciate your input, I don't know what I was looking for when I posted here but telling someone in a long term relationship to “break up with them” because they don't like drugs isn't very helpful
You just said “he said he would stop.” Then you said that he said he never promised to stop. Which is it?
Thanks! Ya but I’m not a dating app guy but let’s see I’ll utilize my friends circle
That's so nice. Do you have the winning lottery numbers too? Since you know so much about a random internet stranger's future.
Yeah, you’re too old but it is acceptable.
That was previous girlfriend. Or is that in reference to my behavior?