Yes she works 2/3 nights part time in a restaurant. Being an international student, all her outgoings are covered by her parents including ‘pocket money’. Any income through work is purely disposable.
I have! Sorry posting my response here to make this easier
That's ok.
There is a pretty good theory that some bad breakups leave people with someone akin to PTSD, especially in situations where the breakup was unexpected (such as in the case of infidelity). As with all PTSD though it needs to be dealt with and “fixed”. Continually living your life in fear of it just puts you in a position of never leaving that place.
but I feel I also have needs to
Maybe a better way to approach it then is to be proactive. This could be something along the lines of saying to him “well, I consider you my bf and I'd be much happier telling people that we are bf/gf”. This is not so much “pushing” but rather is you making your feelings known. These, your feelings, are just as valid and just as important as his.
I get that you want to tiptoe around the large elephant in the room, but after a year you'd think he would at least be coming around to the fact that you are in his life, are not going anywhere and are most definitely not his ex. I hate to use the phrase “he has to get over himself” but in this situation that is pretty much what he has to do.
He can't continue seeing every relationship, especially this one with you, through the rather warped lens of his last one.
Trust in relationships is all important and if he still feels the need to – for whatever reason – not trust you (or be scared, or be hesitant) then maybe ask him what it is he expects you to do to earn this?
And if that fails, you may just have to come out openly and ask him that he has to get over his past at some stage and if not now, when exactly?
She ghosted you for a month after one kiss. I’m not sure why you would want her after treating you that way. She’s not planning to leave her husband. Your daughter is smart!
Yeah pls show up there… this is red flag behaviour
Yes she works 2/3 nights part time in a restaurant. Being an international student, all her outgoings are covered by her parents including ‘pocket money’. Any income through work is purely disposable.
I have! Sorry posting my response here to make this easier
That's ok.
There is a pretty good theory that some bad breakups leave people with someone akin to PTSD, especially in situations where the breakup was unexpected (such as in the case of infidelity). As with all PTSD though it needs to be dealt with and “fixed”. Continually living your life in fear of it just puts you in a position of never leaving that place.
but I feel I also have needs to
Maybe a better way to approach it then is to be proactive. This could be something along the lines of saying to him “well, I consider you my bf and I'd be much happier telling people that we are bf/gf”. This is not so much “pushing” but rather is you making your feelings known. These, your feelings, are just as valid and just as important as his.
I get that you want to tiptoe around the large elephant in the room, but after a year you'd think he would at least be coming around to the fact that you are in his life, are not going anywhere and are most definitely not his ex. I hate to use the phrase “he has to get over himself” but in this situation that is pretty much what he has to do.
He can't continue seeing every relationship, especially this one with you, through the rather warped lens of his last one.
Trust in relationships is all important and if he still feels the need to – for whatever reason – not trust you (or be scared, or be hesitant) then maybe ask him what it is he expects you to do to earn this?
And if that fails, you may just have to come out openly and ask him that he has to get over his past at some stage and if not now, when exactly?
She ghosted you for a month after one kiss. I’m not sure why you would want her after treating you that way. She’s not planning to leave her husband. Your daughter is smart!