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Me too. She's a fair weather friend. She's there when things are fair or sunny, but if a storm of any size rolls in, she boards up the windows and waits for the storm to pass.
Yeah it’s not a jealous reaction. It’s unfair that he was dismissive of your feelings. He could have told you in a more respectful way about what he is used to in his relationship with his roommate.
Definitely felt judged / attacked (not that you were doing these things) and just reacted defensively.
Ya’ll really need to talk about it mainly because that kind of response is not ok.
You can always blame your parents and say they said no. You don't have to give a reason why, just say they didn't tell you why, they just said no.
I'm confused on why you married her and why this boyfriend is suddenly an issue now? Did you just recently learn about the boyfriend she had leading up to the wedding?