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Have sex with him till he's close then stop. When he complains just tell him you never get off so it's only fair that neither of you get to experience it.
My husband will yell at me and call me over and over again. Cry on the phone. Tell me he's going to kill himself. Scream at me that I don't “respect him” or “care about him” because a good wife would come home when her husband says so and listens to her husband.
There is no way there were no signs of this early on. The current situation is a result of you ignoring them. This isn't only about just “one thing you are arguing about”. It's about his idea of what a good wife is, and that is essentially a slave to the man. Being with someone with that kind of ideology will always come back to bite you. If it's not you partying, then it's gonna be something else. And then on top of that his actions of following you to the bars and waiting around are those of a stalker and someone completely unhinged.
You can just leave. You don’t need proof that he’s cheating, you can leave because he’s not trustworthy. You can leave based on his “past” cheating. You don’t need to validate your exit, it’s your choice to leave for any reason you may have.
If you stay, you are choosing to on-line in this situation. He’s never going to give you what you want, he’ll never be trustworthy and he will never admit what he’s done. Just go.
My boyfriend and I have totally opposite sleep schedules. We pushed two full sized beds together with like an inch between them and each have our own bed. We can still roll from one to the other to cuddle, but having separate mattresses means less disturbance when we get in/out of bed. I know not everyone can make that work, but we like it. I also sleep with an eye mask and he uses headphones if he’s hanging out in the room while I’m sleeping
Obvious grounds for break up, but i'll offer a second avenue that offers some support in case you'd still like to somehow make this work. You're going to have a sit-down talk and come clean about everything.
“Something's changed in our marriage, so I went through your phone. I saw all the messages to your friend about X. I violated your privacy, and you violated my trust. Obviously, the trust has eroded on both ends, I'm being the bigger person by being upfront today and saying we need help if this is still going to work. If you still see a future with me, I think couples therapy could do us some good. At the very least, we can try to repair parts of what's busted about this relationship. I'm going to need your honesty, straightforward truth that part of you still wants this. I want you to respect me enough not to waste my time here.”
If she denies or deflects the confrontation. Or gaslight by making the major issue exclusively about violating her privacy, you've gotten your green light to let go. Realistically, the ship has long sailed, and most would walk from here. Though many couples often do try to work these things out in therapy as a last hurrah.
he does not 🙁
“And told him to surprise me”
You obviously didn’t want to be surprised, you had something in mind. Should have just asked for what you wanted. Plain and simple
That's how far I got as well before reaching the same conclusion.
Then a quick “he sure locked her down quick.” before reading the post to see if he had also managed to get her pregnant just to really seal the deal.
She doesnt love you….dont do this to yourself…she went overseas to slate her lust on another man while keeping you waiting here…that is so so fucked up…
Make this into a permanent break …
I used to drink alone in pubs in the early 1980s, when I was a young woman. This was in an area where the pubs were real old-fashioned boozers.
There were often old ladies in there, too!
That's the definition of arguing, my dude
Hind sight is 20/20.
Well, you're seeing clearly now. So the question is, what are you going to do with that information? You don't have to stay married to someone who doesn't respect you. You can't go back and undo the choices you've made, but you can always make better choices for yourself in the future.
These types of posts are always so ridiculous.
There is no “they won't let me break up with them!”
You are a 33 year old adult man. Pull up your big boy underwear and act like a god damned adult instead of a helpless child.
You all sound so immature lol. Sounds a lot alike my previous relationship, thank god I didn’t have a baby with him.
I mean, how heartbroken could he be if he refused to fight for you? Thank the gods you didn’t waste anymore of your life on him. Like I always say, if he wanted to, he would. But Ben obviously didn’t want to stand up for you, which shows how truly unimportant you were to him. Remember that.
You deserve better.