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My girlfriend Grace(20) and I (m21) have been together for about 6 months. Everything is really good and I really love this girl and see a future with her. There’s just one problem: Chris (m23).
Chris is the guy that my girlfriend cheated on her ex with. They met at a music festival and things went from there.
The issue is they still frequently message each other, though they don’t meet each other (different parts of the country) and it bothers me. I’ve brought up my grief and she tells me they are just friends now and she finds it difficult to just lose a friend like that which I respect. The thing is, at tue start of our relationship, he was really weird about her getting together with me and showed obvious signs of jealousy and disregard for me and our relationship. She also had to ‘tell him about me’ at the start of the relationship- as in she felt she needed to let him know that she now has a boyfriend.
Im a paranoid guy as it is and the thought of getting cheated on is a worry of mine. She tells me she would never do anything like that again as it was awful for everyone that was hurt by it including herself. She also says that what she has with me is a lot more special than what she had with her ex and she doesn’t reckon she really loved him, which I believe as our connection is a lot stronger and the relationship a lot healthier than the one I had with my ex of 6 years as well.
I do trust her, or am really trying to trust her, but this guy is getting in the way of that trust and by proxy our relationship. I know that they used to have a thing for each other and I strongly believe that he still likes her, though I believe that she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings. We’ve spoken about it a few times and I have got fairly upset about it yet she still won’t stop talking to the guy on social media.
The thing is, they both work for a company that does festival work in summer, and I know they will be likely to do this together and I’m just really not comfortable with the idea at all.
I feel I am right to feel the way I feel about the situation and she agrees if the roles were reversed she’d feel the same way. I don’t believe she is hiding anything but the situation just puts me on edge and it’s not healthy. I just don’t think it should be such a big deal for her to end whatever relationship they have with each other for the sake of our relationship.
I just don’t really know how to proceed from here and would appreciate any advice.
Because there was only one hard scene
And why is his method more valid than hers? He can equally just wait on her to do her part. Or find a common solutiom like she‘ll only do part of the chores before he comes home and do the rest at her pace.
Working from home 100% is an excuse to let stuff pile up. Because you’re working and can just do the chores after work. It‘s not an office where your cup of coffee is gonna sit in the sink until the morning of the next day. Where’s the issue. I‘m an evening/night chores person, I do all my dishes and scrub my bathroom at night.
Just send him and the entire family a group text:
“I understand you enjoy jokes, but there is a time and place for them, and my wedding is neither the time nor the place. To be perfectly clear: If anyone shows up in a clown suit, they will not be allowed in. You are free to dress as you wish, but please be aware that our dress code will be enforced.”
This isn’t negotiable. You need to make it clear that your wedding is not a joke. Also—you need to get your fiancée on board, as it seems that she is somewhat on the side of the family, still? Best of luck to you!
For anyone with kids reading this there is a very important part here. Parents make small mistakes all the time. The most important part of it is owning up to it, sometimes that means apologizing to your kid for yelling when you are super stressed or explaining the situation to them but no parent is perfect 100% of the time.