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Birth Date: 2002-12-19
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Contrarian here. You are a very naïve person. You didn’t fantasize about having sex with him. You understood what was going to happen a bit late in the process. As you realized this, you ran out. In my opinion, you didn’t cheat if you didn’t have feelings for this guy. I think it is a lesson for you. I think you should take it to the grave, except if you had feelings for this guy and then you have to tell your husband and get straight into IC.
Kids are one of those make or break decisions where you both need to be on the same page.
8 years in your 20s is a long time to grow and develop as people. If you’ve both moved to different positions on having children, you need to respect the other person’s wishes and split up.
It hurts and it sucks. But long term if you stay together one of you will resent the other.
he didn’t even warn me lol but i’m not even frustrated lol i’ll just have to tell him again when he wakes up
That’s what I told her. But she’s very set on wanting to make things work. We talked since I made this post. I just needed some insight on what I should do/clear up my confusion on where I stand. We came to the conclusion that we both deserve space right now, not taking a break, but just space to focus on ourselves. And if my feelings for her are actually true I’ll know. Because I am angry at her for finding out. But that’s a blessing in disguise. She said she knows deep down I love her, and I know I do too. She’s willing to look pass what I did, but it feels so wrong. I don’t want to hurt her. So this space we’re giving ourselves will determine what’s gonna happen. It’s unfair and childish of me to throw away everything we built because I’m angry she found out what I did wrong. I’ve been saying maybe I don’t love her, but I know I actually do. I more or less am trying to convince myself that I don’t to protect her. Just very confused about myself.
Not weirder than pretending to sleep ?
Honestly. I'm sitting here wondering why she even wants him back. Love yourself more babe
He sounds really messed up in the head with the insistence on trying to get it on in public. That might be a fantasy thing but in real life not so cool. Especially around kids. You shouldn't feel bad, but definitely take his trying to guilt trip you as a red flag.
If it’s making you uncomfortable then you should back off. If it’s not and you are just being cautious then continue being friends and if she makes a move then deal with it when the time comes.
You can't solve any problem by refusing to speak to her.
Tell her you know what you did hurt her and apologize sincerely to her about it, and also ask her for forgiveness. Also discuss possible solutions you your communication issues.
Forgiveness is not owed to you, though, so be prepared for that.
because of that stupid old thought that brown eyes are dominant to blue eyes blah, blah
Dominant doesn't mean it is a guarantee. If it was, blue eyes would recess with every generation until eventually we'd have a world of dark eyed people only ever. This isn't just stupid, it is willfully stupid.
Who knows.. probably ordered take out.
Yea you're probably right?
Because I love(d) her and have felt things with her I never ever felt before. I´ve always being pretty numb feelings wise. But with her I actually got in love. Perhaps for the first time in my life. So my brain won´t let me easily just delete her.
I would be really sad that I didn’t trust my fiancé.
Talked with her about it. Wasn't a fun conversation, but I'm glad I had it. And after it was done she talked me to sleep like usual, and I woke up to her still there this morning. Very thankful I didn't mess things up.
Not sure I would have righted course without some outside perspective. Thank you so much
Don't invase privacy. Lesson learnt.
You weren’t naive or stupid because you had hopes and dreams. We all do.
And it can be so easy to fall in to having nothing but hopes and dreams— after all, most western cultures are taught that if you fight hot enough, wait, and see it through, eventually all that naked work, effort, and time will add up and pull together because you gave it everything you got.— You have literally given everything you have, and then somehow on your hopes and dreams you were able to relentlessly get more in order to give more.
Understand that’s actually a very beautiful strength for a person to have. You are strong, independent, efficient, loving, but most importantly stable and reliable.
Dude, you performed miracles here… and having the kind of love for a person to the extent where you will literally do everything in your ability to make it work is not weak. It is not naive or stupid, not in the slightest.
It’s just that the strength you have is simply being over extended to the point where you’re probably just tired. Getting tired is not detrimental, it is natural, and whenever the limits of someone’s strength is tested until they need to rest, they always grow stronger, anyway.
I understand this might feel scary, you might be beating yourself up, you might feel stupid for hanging in there for so long— but you are none of those things.
But you also deserve to feel good for exhibiting the strength of character for who you are.
You fearlessly committed yourself to 12 years of unconditional love and effort, your loyalty is amazing, and your ambition is absolutely incredible. You do not need to punish yourself for being that kind of person, and you don’t need to change who you are in the future because you really did your best and it’s not going the way you hoped for.
You really did do all the right things… it’s just that I think at this point you badly need someone who can recognize those amazing things about yourself and respect it. You are absolutely life long marriage material, you have a lot to offer, and you have done so much… but now it’s time to move past this and look toward finding someone who will give back and bring out the best in you instead of self blaming, questioning, and insecurity.
Understand that you did absolutely nothing wrong here, rather, you’re giving it your all for someone who simply just does not have the capacity to enhance your life and grow with you.
You deserve a partner. An actual partner. Someone who can keep those amazing and loving things about you alive.
Instead of beating yourself up, I implore you to view it instead as if you’re a natural born piano player who’s just trying to play Mozart on a harp and then telling yourself you’re bad at music. When no, a harp is a harp. You’re not a harpist, you’re a classically trained award winning piano player— you’re not stupid for trying to play the harp… but it’s just that your talents were meant for a piano, and not a freaking Yamaha just to pat yourself on the back and tell yourself good job; You were meant for a Steinway, so get off the harp already and go find the Steinway already so you can finally get the Mozart concert going.
And frankly, if you have to hunt for a Steinway and it takes time, then so be it, because you need to hear your own sound that badly, that playing anything less is just going to be half of what you can do, so if it takes time, you shouldn’t beat yourself up for that either.
Get it?
It is going to okay. I really do hope you move on, but I hope while you do move on, how much of a big deal that actually is how you’ve done so much and accomplished with this uncertainty, frustration, discouragement, and numerous obstacles working against you— I think your life is going to turn out pretty fucking amazing and better than what you even hoped for when you find someone who is actually working with you. You probably have no freaking idea how much of a big deal this is, in a good way— but you have every reason to be excited at the prospect of letting go. Because it means you finally get to see what is next, instead of waiting it out. Unlike most people, the ‘what’s next’ part is pretty guaranteed to be something amazing, and now it’s time for you to get to see it.
I speak passionately about this because I have done the same exact thing as you, hanging in there for a really long time while praying for rain over the years and beating myself up because I felt like all that effort left me with nothing. But I want you to know it is not true, and the ‘what’s next’ is going to be incredibly shocking, when you’re not having someone hold you back.
I would say good luck, but you’re pretty much not going to need it. Pretty sure six months after the fact, you’re going to have a holy shit moment because I just told you your future.
You should tell your boyfriend about your past sex work.
If he can't accept this information then he's not for you. Sounds like you already don't trust him, tbh.
I’ve noticed you’re mostly replying to comments that agree with your preconceived narrative, that she lied or intentionally deceived you. It’s much more likely that she either forgot or didn’t think this dude was relevant in your conversation. You said you were talking about past relationships which she easily might have taken to mean boyfriends (people she dated for a significant amount of time). This other dude sounds like a fling, not a relationship.
Have you thought that since you both work remote she might just need a night away from you? Even married people need alone time.
UpdateMe!
I live with someone who has cancer. The first time I got a really bad stomach ache, they chuckled because I’m a massive baby about them and my reaction was and I quote ‘comedic’, and I will say, i’m very extra about them.
But when I get migraines or don’t feel well, they have no issues getting me an ice pack or medicine. I even apologized because I know my issues are trivial compared to cancer treatments but I was met with nothing but compassion. Everyones illnesses and circumstances are different. Some are considerably worse but it doesnt mean that you arent struggling as well.
He doesn’t sound like a very supportive partner. If this is how he reacts when your sick, is it something your willing to put up with, everytime your sick, for the rest of your life? You deserve compassion AND support too.
You did the right thing!
I wish more people recognized and acted upon these type of red flags, there would be a lot less divorce. I say this as someone who is divorced because of ignoring stuff like this.
You saved yourself a lot of heartache. Even though I know it doesn’t feel great now, but it’s wayyyy better than wasting years, money and energy with someone to only end up separating later because you were incompatible the whole time.