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I would feel the same tbh but it’s him to him
She mentioned in a comment that he's given her an std before. So she already knows, she's just choosing to go along with it anyway. OP needs to get away from him and then get therapy for her alarmingly low self esteem issues.
You can back and fourth & be in denial with the hateful response and judge mental things you “pointed out” you said if that’s makes you feel better. Your pointing and proving is of the same.
I’ll be your friend if you just need someone to talk to.
Let me come at you with the perspective of someone who opens and closes her relationship periodically.
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. About 2 years in he asked if I would ever do an open relationship. I said no and panicked, he said he’d be open to it but that he was okay with never doing it if I didn’t want to and would rather be with me than give up our relationship.
A year later I warmed up to the idea and we did it. We did it by discussing a set of rules and boundaries to follow. After a few months, we closed it again due to a miscommunication about one of the boundaries, but we worked through it.
Fast forward to a few months ago and we decided to open it again but in a different way and with different boundaries that we discussed in depth. We discussed our feelings on the open relationship idea and why we wanted it. We keep really open lines of communication and always put each other above everything.
I tell you this long story because I think the people on this sub immediately jump to someone being a horrible partner if they bring up the open relationship idea. That doesn’t have to be the case so long as you communicate. I think what went wrong for you and your girlfriend is that she acted like the victim when you were expressing your very valid emotions and the fact that you have polar opposite feelings on the matter. If you’re not okay with being with someone who would even think about wanting that, then that’s totally valid and you should communicate that. But she’s also not a monster for bringing up her feelings. I think you’ve just discovered that your feelings on the matter make you incompatible. Open relationships like the one she’s describing can work, but both partners need to have the same philosophy on how it relates to the primary relationship, which you two do not.
I would like to comment on a different aspect of your situation. There is a common attitude that a marriage proposal and a “yes” is a binding commitment to get married. My attitude is that it is an agreement to start in-depth negotiations and exploration. At the end of it, you may have a clear harmony of values and commitment to each other, which you announce by getting married. Or, you discover a mismatch of values or an area of inadequate commitment, which you avoid by not getting married.
It sounds like your engagement is already successful, because it has surfaced important issues for you both to negotiate. Good for you! I hope it goes well.
But certainly, do not hold a wedding until you have worked those issues out.