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Model from: fr
Languages: fr,en,de
Birth Date: 1998-03-13
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Personally, as a monogamous person, this wouldn't be for me.
My husband and me both are bi. But since we chose to be together, there is nobody else we want to be intimate with. So there wouldn't be a similar agreement.
Are your partner and you both allowed to sleep with someone else? Or is this a kinda onesided deal? Seems weird to me.
So what?
I understand wanting a child(in theory), but you’re on the road to having an unwanted child right now. Guess what? Baby will one day learn this fact. Why would you want to do this to your child?
Your boyfriend can barely parent the one he already has and is willing to make a big move to be with you, but also can’t keep his story straight about what he wants? There’s no custody arrangements? Why would do you want to have a baby with someone who appears to be incredibly selfish and irresponsible? If this is truly the best relationship you’ve ever been in, I’m sorry.
This is very confusing and it seems like you are fighting with the reality that there are two less than ideal options. If he will support you keeping it, but it just isn’t his preferred outcome and he would rather not have a baby, what is the problem with his reaction? It sounds like he is ultimately committed to supporting your choice
A man who’s happy with a 15 year age gap is also emotionally stunted? Now I’ve seen everything.
Well yes but I have heard a lot of story’s where men start with hitting the wall before the women..that’s why I’m kinda scared
When someone tells you they’re abusive, believe them.
Pursuer-distancer dynamic.
If you’re committed, go to rehab. Get in a program and stick with it. You are not going to be a different version of yourself overnight, but investing in rehab, counseling, and a support program will help you get there AND give you daily opportunities to demonstrate to your partner that your commitment is real.
Good luck. I hope you get well and find some peace.
Seems like he likes this attention from her. If somebody was talking or treating my boyfriend that way 1. He would shut that shit down because that’s very inappropriate and crossing a boundary 2. I would feel very upset and wouldn’t want me boyfriend to have a friend like that in his life either. The fact that he doesn’t see a problem or even trying to understand your point of view is not something you should settle for.
He does have his own anxiety issues which is why I’ve been thinking maybe he is overthinking something on his own. He did say that im still celebrating Christmas with him and his family but ever since he hasn’t talked to me.
If she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you. Just another stepping stone
Asking questions you really don’t want the answers to is self destructive.
My gf and I fart in front of each other all the time and just look at each other and giggle. this one time we literally looked at each other and farted in unison like a layered clap. We both fuckin DIED.
Why would she have to settle? She's 19 and has her whole life ahead of her.
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If she didn't cheat on him ,he would be more empathetic to her position…but subconsciously he knows ..and it won't ever go away She betrayed him…and doesn't really love him. He should leave her …the way she abandoned him when she cheated
I don't think “you should have had an abortion” is what OP wants to hear
OP sorry you're going through this. I have no idea how you must be feeling. Get a lawyer and get something written. Or put the child up for adoption. That poor child.
I don’t mean every single 56 yo man by any means. But a hunch tells me my predictions will be accurate for this particular one.
Exactly. I’m sure this sub is mostly woman so all options are in defense of woman. It’s crazy.
Moving forward is something she has to do in her own mind, it’s not something anyone else can do for her.
Have you masturbated to a picture of a crush?
Yeah.
Give in and pay the $1,000. Tell him you misunderstood and you'll get the money to him by a certain date.
You may not legally owe that money depending on the contract, but this is a moral issue. He's giving you an incredible discount on the land and house. So treat him as well as he's treated you.
AND?
I do understand it from his POV, thus I ended up not posting that video, and I do understand him not wanting other guys to look at me but his remark about my future daughter rubbed me the wrong way. The idea of telling my daughter to not wear something while doing sports because of what other guys may think doesn’t sit right with me
I really am blown away by how insecure some men are.
That’s so much for this. I just did not at all feel right that you could say that. I understand the want for privacy, which is one of the things she also mentions, but these are my emotions and not hers. She doesn’t often talk to our mutual friends about things from what they said. But it still doesn’t feel right.
I feel for you. Sex is awesome on its own, I’ve not understood why people need all these other toys and avenues.
Were I in your shoes I’d Google ways of pleasing a man anally, and looking for the easiest ones that resonate. I bet there’s an easy small toy or technique that could do the trick and be satisfying/tolerable for both of you. And maybe tips for coping
Does sound like he’s becoming incompatible. He wants a guy to F him. That’s confusing.
I can tell you that after 7 years of trying to keep pace with my hubs sexual evolution, we’re getting a divorce now. It caused so many issues in our marriage even outside the bedroom when intimacy was interrupted.
I’d make a serious effort, but don’t overstay the marriage if it doesn’t work. It becomes toxic over time. Just my experience.
You never actually got over her. You've just been lying to yourself to make you believe you did.
Just say you can't contribute more than you already have to the wedding as you're currently busy.
I'd stop talking to her mostly after the wedding as you won't actually move on if you don't.
You're not emotionally abusive. You should leave.
Stand your ground! He is not welcome! It's not your problem after that!
It could be the have an open relationship as you said, and he was starting to groom your girlfriend.
Ask her if either of them have approached her about hooking up. I bet the girlfriend has mentioned it.
This is the best! ⬆️
Here is a novel idea: not all people are like you. Some simply dont have the same stance against cheating as you do.
If you live! in another state that makes it harder for him to get custody. He probably has no intention of trying to get custody. Think about the time you’ve been together and what’s happened because if it looks like it’s not worth saving, you know what to do. Regardless get an attorney to protect your daughter. Look forward. Consider what harming yourself would do to both you and your daughter and if you are not seeing a therapist, do so. Sorry things went south, but hang in there.
Yea so the thing is when he will need you to be supportive, you have this idealized version of him that will make it hard to support him as a human being, your not accepting of trauma your looking for someone who can support YOU and not “break down” well heads up especially at the beginning of your 20's I can tell you right now that shit comes back up eventually. Take some time to consider why you feel this way and reconsider
People who go through trauma are more prone to codependence and that could be what she's attracted to. This guy is probably a people pleaser and will sacrifice everything for her happiness.
I don't get to decide custody. The courts do. And it's not what you know, it's what you can prove in court. I risk leaving my daughter in his care without my supervision. Does that sound wise?
Tate has millions of followers and naked believers and yet he's arrested with accusations of trafficking and pimping women, so that “assurance” doesn't go far.
Why don't you change your lifestyle instead of crash dieting? Eat healthily and exercise consistently.
The only way to approach this is to tell her you aren’t satisfied with your sex life and see if she’s up for having more sex. Don’t include anything about marriage or tie your sex life to it (yet). If she actually wants to have more sex with you, then see how it goes and reevaluate in a few months to a year.
If she’s not up for it, then you’ve just discovered that you’re sexually incompatible and you need to leave.
Honestly, there’s no way to say “I won’t marry you unless we have more sex” without it being an ultimatum. You’ve only been together for a year and you’re finding out that you’re sexually incompatible. Sexual incompatibility is a perfectly fine reason to end a relationship. And a year is not that long, pump the brakes on marriage, it could take a bit longer to find out if you’re actually compatible enough to intertwine your lives, which it’s sounding already like you aren’t.
Arrange lunch with him? Bring him his favorite? Don't know the job, so I don't know what would be OK and what would be bad.
Twist!!
I don’t think OP is asking the right question.
It’s hard for me to think about
We have been together for 7 amazing years he is my first everything. He did have relationships before me flings etc. I never did so I don’t have any experience to look back at.
I just keep asking myself is this worth to end it all?
Do you really love him or are you just wearing rose colored infatuation glasses for a guy old enough to be your father with a creepy habit of frequently dating women who are barely legal? Girl get it together
What a Chad
Exactly my thoughts. Mother should be protecting her from this creep.
Isn’t there like a bro code or something-like you don’t bang your friends sister??? Don’t do it man, you’ll regret when it implodes and you loose your friends
Even if he’s very nice and you trust him?
He's 25. “Almost 30”. ???? next you'll be saying he's virtually 40.
He just told you he’d kill you and your kids if you cheated. What else would he kill you for? You know this isn’t normal
The likely hood is that he tampered with her birth control – reproductive coercion so he can control her. He has more control if he forces her to be a SAHM again
Bro, bro, you've already lost her man, she's gone. I'm sorry.
Let it go… what is the real issue anyways?
Third time. Once yesterday, roughly 20 hours ago.
Please for the love of god leave her. Or one day you’re gonna wake up and the dogs are gone.
Take the dogs and run
What a tool. Take your shit back and kick his ass to the curb.
Totally agree. I’ve tried convincing my parrot NOT to invaded Italy while on acid, and temporarily named him blue ally. Yet.. I’ve been in a room with strangers/friends without my partner and never ONCE crossed any type of line with them! Substances sometimes bring out the worst in people, aka.. what’s already there beneath the surface.
The only thing that can save you now is couples therapy
She needs professional help. More then u can give her. Your job now is to protect your child. She can not trusted with your child or to get herself help.
Dear God leave! What lessons will those children pick up on?!
I don’t know that you’re an asshole, but if I was dating somebody for almost a year and they had a dating up on the phone I would dump them. We told me they were not monogamous which I am.
Marital rape is very much a thing. Please, get out safely.
I don't know any women (of my acquaintance) who think like her. That's just crazy!!! Even if she was joking, the fact that her mind works in that way is enough for me to suggest you break up with her to protect yourself.
And if/when he doesn't like you, this feature will be worse/ugly again, according to him. A compliment isn't worth anything if it involves putting someone else down imo.
Your BF shouldn't be commenting on people's appearances in such a negative way, it's bad manners. This girl isn't for his viewing pleasure, she's just living her life. He shouldn't have to be told this lol, pretty immature behavior tbh. It costs nothing to be kind.
I would feel pretty uneasy about a comment like this, and I would not be ok with it. A respectful partner will build you up without having to tear anyone else down. If he only doesn't think this feature is “gross” because he likes you, that's very conditional. I'd be worried your BF would use it as a putdown if he was unhappy with you. You don't need that kind of negativity or stress.
I would talk with him and be straight up about how this is unacceptable. Sometimes people are just ignorant about how to behave properly. Teenagers are just learning how to become adults, which is ok. However, if he doesn't shape up, I would personally ship out since I'd find those flimsy compliments not something worth tolerating. Finding someone that loves all of you is so powerful and worth the vetting of poor partners.
“Attempting to help her work on herself is extremely draining, which I’ve expressed many times and it made no difference.”
You don't seem to help her at all just tell her no when she wants or asks for things. Leave this poor girl so she can be with somebody that A wants to be with her and B is willing to compromise on something.
Lmao you had me at 150 miles away and in an ldr. Take note people. If you’re going to start a relationship make sure it’s a local one (short distance relationship). LDR’s take a very determined couple and to be successful need to end in one person moving to turn the LDR into an SDR.
Thank for your words. I agree with #1, 2, & 3 whole heartedly. It is top of mind.
4 I don’t really agree with. I would consider myself friends with my tenants. And the bartender. While her behavior is inappropriate, I’m a super nice guy and people are aware her behavior is not reflective of mine. Secondly, I think it’s important to understand where people come from. Jamaica is an under developed country, it is quite literally one of the slowest growing economies in the world. There are vast cultural differences when trying to compare a country like that to a first world country like the United States. The education system, political system, and more are years behind us. Which, if you consider America’s history, we weren’t so much difference some time ago. We just have more resources, better infrastructure, both of which I think enables progression in understanding things that a long time ago seemed strange. Like homosexuality. The important part is to recognize the cultural difference, understand it is wrong, and work to “catch up” to the rest of us. Which I promise you, she was doing. She moved here in her late teens. She’s in her twenties. This does not happen over night.
The behavior is homophonic, yes. It is wrong, yes. I think context matters. Hate for hate does not make the world a better place. Love and education in the face of hate can typically help create more love and understanding in my opinion. And she is someone deserving of that treatment as I believe most all people are.
She then goes on to say she was curious and wanted to know what they were talking about. Then she goes on to say she knows she invaded his privacy. A conversation can be open doesn't mean you scroll through it and read it all.
Who rented it? For what reason did he give?
You guys are incompatible
Whether or not there is anything going on between him and his friend, your boyfriend has been tremendously disrespectful to both you and her boyfriend (and maybe her as well if she has tried to put parameters on the friendship that he keeps ignoring because he doesn’t want to be “controlled).
Stop wasting your time and DTMFA
I agree.. Although I love her so much, this relationship is torturing and beautiful all at once (for both of us.) I feel like I ignore my needs to heal her, it's hard to believe that what we have is love when the walls are crumbling faster than I can build up. I feel like I'm settling for something less than acceptable. This sounds like a song lyrics I know.. (Ye.Death – Moodie Black) It rings true..
Teenagers do this kind of thing– It's part of BEING a teenager.
I don't think she “led you on,” because she doesn't even really have enough life experience to know what that means… she felt feelings, she shared those feelings, those feelings changed.
Sorry your heart is hurting, but it happens A LOT in those ages– everything is EVERYTHING. Until it's not. And then you aren't the most graceful at moving on (don't have the adult skills to think that far ahead nor with that much learned EQ.)
When he does it, leave. Every single time. Don’t fight, Leave. The remark should cost him his time with you. Take away his reward.
It’s a shame you have to train him like a literal dog like this, and if you simply dumped him it would be quicker; but assuming you don’t want to dump him, instead give him the grayest-rock version of taking away his reward he’s ever seen in his life, and be absolutely consistent about it.
I read your first post and as someone in the medical field, I had a feeling this was also the field you were in when you explained your hours. I was horrified that he even insisted on YOU being the one to drive to him. Of all the selfish and unsafe things he pressured you into, he had the nerve then to sit inside the house, to blow you off while bitching at you via text.
I am so very sorry for what you went through, then to deal with that selfish jerk boyfriend on top of it all. No matter how professional we strive to be, there are always those cases that get us. Mine was a 16 year old gunshot victim that we worked on for over an hour to try to save, and we could not. I came out of that room covered in blood and miserable. It took me weeks to start to feel okay. Every once in a while I still have a nightmare about it. This happened in 2018. Just wanted to share that some of us understand the gravity of that situation, as at the end of the day, we are still humans and not emotionless robots.
With that said, this guy is not for you. He’s selfish and he put you in danger nagging and guilting you behind the wheel while sleep deprive just because his little princess ass didn’t feel like driving. Don’t ever do that again please. You deserve a special kind of man who can be the sight for sore eyes that you finally come home too after during brutal hours of trying to save lives.
I didn’t see anywhere in the post that he picked the day though, unless I overlooked that. Just that she told him to take her out to make up for their argument. That’s why I asked for clarification, it seems weird they wouldn’t wait for his next day off, which makes me think she picked the very next day out of excitement.
There's no point to PT without an doctor's diagnosis of what's actually wrong. If she's withholding that information, it's to emotionally blackmail you. If she doesn't have that information, it's her own damn fault.
Either way, not your problem. She's not your friend.
Did you actually tell him you had a procedure or just an appointment?
Please don't stay. He will only quit when it's important to him and then probably only after he hits rock bottom.