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I might be gay but I am still a guy and dont function like a girl or other friends and I’d rather be direct and not talk behind people’s backs or hold things in if something is bothering me
How is being direct a guy thing? You a throw back to the 1800s or something? And you’re a perfect example of a dude NOT being direct, at least from how you describe it. Z keeps showing you text messages and you’re pissed she lied about her not being interested and you stop seeing M because of her, but where did you talk about that with her?
As for why you get a strong aversion, you may understand her insecurities, but you obviously don’t like her coping mechanism for them. For example talking shit behind peoples back and having very little good things to say is a coping mechanism for conflict, often used by people pleasers and conflict avoiders who have a lot of built up resentment because they never resolve those conflicts. Using Y and one upping, is often coping mechanism for negative self talk. They need more external validation to feel good because they either talk so much shit about themselves inside their heads or they assume others do, so this is how they try to balance that out. So that aversion you feel, that’s just your emotions telling you that since YOURE not talking to her directly to resolve the conflict you have with her unhealthy coping mechanism, that it’s better that you avoid her. Don’t want the aversion and don’t want to avoid her? Then talk to her about what you don’t like or set boundaries to protect you and your friendship from the behaviors you don’t like.
Yes if it is making your GF uncomfortable for you to be in your house in your boxers the you should put some clothes on that are appropriate or have your GF and her daughter move out. You are the only one that is going to change this.
You’re going to regret not going through her phone when you had the chance OP.
You’ll never get clarity now because if there was anything to find it’s gone, delete and if there was nothing to find you’ll never be quite sure.