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Whoa… remember he is the victim here. Not you.
You don’t get to “intervene”. He’s the one who gets to choose how to handle it. You can and should support him for him to do. You shouldn’t “tell him what to do”
Support your BF. Understand he isn’t in a secure position and he isn’t to blame. Talk to him, stand by him, reassure him you don’t blame him.
If anything help him understand what he can do.
Be supportive
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Not always, but usually.
I never date people who are still in contact with their ex. Two of my ex’s cheated with their exes on my and they weren’t even friends.
Most men I dated wouldn’t accept it if I were still in contact with an ex and made that perfectly clear.
I think a lot of people have this boundary. I think it’s good that she’s telling you upfront because if you’re not on the same page you’d rather know now and move on.
Sometimes people fall out of love with each other but the cheating (emotionally/physically) isn’t ok. I find it odd that she immediately decided to move in together with her affair partner… isn’t it more logical for her to just find a place by herself until she can figure things out? They won’t last.
Anyway. I’m sory OP. She’ll lose friends. You’ll lose friends. People will pick sides. Things get messy.
You’ve quite suddenly lost your partner and this sucks. She turned out to be the wrong person for you (with values like that!) What you are gaining is a future with the right person. I don’t believe there is only one mr Right or Mrs Right. I believe there are several. And you will get to meet several of them.
But take some time to heal from this heartbreak. I sense a lot of anger in your post still. Understandably. Take care.