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As much as it hurts, it sounds like she's being honest with you.
You need to get over it.
You’ve chosen to date someone with a child and it sounds like he’s doing his absolute best to give that child a stable upbringing and maintain a healthy coparenting relationship with his ex.
If you can’t handle that then don’t date him.
Honestly man some people just complain. It’s like a key part of there personality. And it’s extremely draining to be around. I wouldn’t expect it to change, but you obviously need to bring it up and have a conversation, just brace yourself for the likely possibility of it not going good.