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I call BS on these panic attacks, how exactly are they presenting? You try to talk to her and she runs away to the bathroom? Or she starts puking in the middle of the living room.
But most of my friends are 18-25 with a few exceptions of late 20s. There people my age who seem to be living a way better life ?
Psychotic break. Glad to hear that you got her to the ER and that mother in law is hopefully there by now and that baby is safe and healthy. You’ve done nothing wrong, you did the right things and are continuing that trend. Don’t be naked on yourself. Also, she didn’t get hacked, that’s a delusion. I also would not take the divorce thing seriously, at all, there’s a strong chance she won’t even remember that later. Regardless, she isn’t in her right mind to make such a decision. This is going to be a long-term, ongoing process and there are likely going to be some naked times ahead. But it also doesn’t mean that she can’t ever come back from this. With consistent psychiatric care, following doctor’s orders, etc. she can get well again. Although this is likely going to be an issue for her for life, there will be times of relative normality but things won’t be like they were before all this happened. I wish you and your wife all the best and my heart is with you both.
seriously, i heard we should be able to accept whats admirable and whats toxic ?
Don’t always give people the benefit of the doubt. He definitely doesn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t ever talk to him again.
If you try to explain what he already knows he’s doing, he’ll just try to keep you in his life longer. You don’t need to explain to him-this grown adult – what he’s doing wrong. He knows! That’s why he’s trying to date very young people with less experience that won’t quickly recognize huge glaring red flags.
You don’t owe him anything. Protect yourself.
he’s not going to tell me… i’m not friend with his ex but I’m really thinking about asking her
Sounds like a great project to put your energy into. Is there something you always wanted for yourself you could work on too? I would worry that even in his absence you are pouring a lot of heartfelt energy into him.
So based on your last post, you've already spoken to Ryan about why Jake hates him and Ryan understood. Now if you manage to dig up some evidence that Ryan was meant to be a donor (which sounds unlikely for several reasons), how does that help Ryan? What additional clarity can you offer him? The facts are already pretty clear: Jake has some issues that he's taken out on Ryan, and your parents are enabling this. It doesn't matter WHY Ryan was conceived, he just WAS and that is the one thing Jake hates him for.
If you love Ryan which it seems like you do, protect him. Part of that protection means making him feel loved and valued. Giving him more reasons why people hate him doesn't feel like age-appropriate information for a 12 year old. Please consider this may cause him more lasting damage than help him at his age.
Yes I’ll definitely keep it at the front of my mind if I need to ask her for something again. I’ll definitely mention the reminders thing.
Sadly, I wouldn’t say that’s paranoid, but rather justifiably alert.
Hope you have enough self respect to be honest either way.
Some would loose a great relationship due to internal struggle
Other would loose a bad mate due to high self value
Others would loose self respect for staying when they wanted.
Whatever your path is, stay blessed and good luck.
I did think he was starting to get it but maybe not. Tbf when I asked about the money yesterday the first thing he said after was “don’t get stressed” so he does know it’s… well a stress.
Agreed. Where TF do you online where the cost of living is high but nurses are paid poorly? Nurses are huge in demand everywhere, everyone has signing bonuses up to $10k, and it’s a sellers market for all labor but especially nursing.
Thank you all for the advice. We’re supposed to be hanging out sometime in the next week so fingers crossed that I can be brave and get some answers
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I think you know the answer to this yourself. He needs time to work through his trauma? What is he actively doing to work through it? Counselling? Anything else? Trauma doesn't just disappear without working on it. And he had six years to work through it – which he clearly hasn't done and is also proof that it doesn't just go away.
I think he's just trying to buy more time until you're not willing to wait anymore or until it's too late for you to look for someone else if you wanted a family. I wouldn't put up with this.
If he’s serious, then he can tell you what he's doing to overcome his trauma. If he's not doing anything you have your answer.
Well, in a typical relationship, both partners are equals. So if it's his house and he rules over the house, she rules with him. King and Queen. If she was 50, maybe this wouldn't bother you as much. Maybe you're trying to hold on to some level of authority that never really existed. If you don't pay the rent, you don't get a say. Maybe it's time you start your own kingdom somewhere else?
A mistake? Come on…please tell me you aren't that naive.
Hes planning to use you as the paycheck, breeder and make you destitute in the process. Do NOT marry this man. It's better to be alone than tie yourself to trash.
If her parents are good people I would let them know the what and why but I wouldn’t otherwise have contact with her or her people.
She is feeling neglected. She is not communicating it in a healthy though. I am sure you’re feeling stressed. The mixture can make things difficult. Have you guys tried counseling? Going out together to spend some quality time and have effective healthy conversations? There are ways to improve it. But you both have to commit to it.
If he’s currently in his home country, did he receive another travel document to go there again? Is he currently banned from re-entry to the US?
A break from you while another guy breaks her back. Tell her to pound sand.
Sure, but are there no other med schools in other parts of the country?
Look, I know it's naked getting into med school, and not easy to relocate, neither now, nor later when you're doing your rotation. However, you need to stop expecting your future gf to plan her life around you and make all the sacrifices.
Let her pout. You’re allowed to occasionally go out in your own.
This is exactly what OP should be doing!!
Couples counseling
I'm super confused by this one. There's no context on what the email says and nobody in the comments is even asking. There just like yeah, she's mental break up.
But like, what if its a girl you've been flirting with for months and just never met up with?
Like what's the context of the email? No random girl has ever just emailed me out the blue, if she did my partner would not have a reason to break up with me unless it implied I was cheating. But… I've never in over 30 years receiving an email from a random girl just out the blue.
So whilst everyone is giving advice that she's crazy, I think the advice would be better and more legitimate if there was context around who the girl that emailed you was, did you know her before, did you talk regularly, and what the email said?
If its like spam mail, then yeah, crazy over reaction. If it's some girl you've been talking to cor years, and never mentioned to your gf… not so crazy.
How else am I Gona do my job if I can't jack off… Jesus lady… What more do you want from the poor guy…
Yes, but context matters. I assume you understand there’s a reason we should not berate and become aggressive to problem children?
Your instincts shouldn’t be “you did something that hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you”. I’d recommend talking about it first. If the other person doesn’t care that they hurt you it’s best to find someone that cares about your feelings.
“Out of control”? Lol, what’s next, “She’s showing signs of hysteria?” There aren’t even any specifics here besides deleting Instagram pics.
“Out of control”? Lol, what’s next, “She’s showing signs of hysteria?” There aren’t even any specifics here besides deleting Instagram pics.
Only if you have absolutely no self respect
Record any interaction you have. It will act as a proof against false allegations and deterrent for her getting violent.
Ooohhh good point and better than the 1 above that suggested changing her oldest kids to have OPs name.
Good, it sounds like you’ve handled it well. Nothing to fault any any of your actions at all.
Who cares if it goes smoothly? What happens when you have to dig a hole for a puppy your boyfriend beat to death?
Maybe she has hemorrhoids now and it doesn't feel as good.
Based on your comments you are not ready for a serious adult relationship. However it was good that you two broke up as he also sounds verbally/emotionally abusive.
You both have things to work on and grow up. No, he did not cheat on you. What you are trying to describe is he crossed a boundary that you set. That is not cheating. That is not borderline cheating even if it was headed that way. It was a crossed boundary.
It's still a good thing you two broke up. Now learn from it for your next relationship.
You are CLUELESS. Keep talking out of your ass though. God the comments on this are absolutely despicable and speak volumes about how much judgement victims get in society. Disgusting and disheartening.
Great advice after the fact ?
You are projecting a lot onto OP dating someone a few times. I hope you and your wife are OK but you should turn down the intensity.
Ask her to teach you to sexually please her. Where to touch her, how to touch her, how naked to press or rub or squeeze or lick, etc.
Also, leave your dick in your underwear while you're focusing on making her feel good. Use your tongue and your hands, etc., instead of your dick. You already know that you will last about 30 seconds, and she needs more than 30 seconds in order to be satisfied. So END with your dick, don't START with your dick.
And If you cum after 30 seconds, you can still keep doing and touch her and hold her and finger her and lick her, etc. Just because you cum doesn't mean sex has to be over for her, too. If you cum, ask her, what else can I do to make you feel good, honey? And make sure you MEAN it. The goal of sex is for BOTH of you to feel good, not just you.
Dude, there are many reasons why your husband would behave like that. You being wrong in any shape or form is none of them. He is an asshole and disrespected and embarrased you. That is 100% on him. You deserve better and trust me, there is millions of men out there who would be happy to treat you the well.
Shoot him a message. He clearly knows you like him, but based on his behavior, he doesnt feel the same way you do. He likes things about you, but based on his behaviors hes not that into you. Canceling dates, lying, teasing you yet not engaging you for another date. This can mean he may use you for validation or sex. But hes not likely to seriously date you. Always pay attention to the signs hes showing.
You could pursue him and offer him that 2nd chance, but again, youre chasing him, hes not vying for you, just sending you subliminal messages hoping youre open for whatever he may want.
What is the hobby? How would you make it pay?
How should I go about eliminating contact? Especially since I ran into him by accident before
Is this a line from a song lol?
Thank you, I am extremely grateful for the baby I cannot lie. As terrible as this situation is, the baby is the one who keeps me sane and going. Thank you so much, it’s amazing how complete strangers can be there for you more than others you thought would be there.
This is why I don’t like it when relationships progress too fast. It’s too much to be texting every day and seeing one another a lot when you’ve really only known someone for 2 weeks. I assume that people are dating others until I know them well enough to bring up exclusivity and I like to let things move a bit slower. It’s super weird that he told you about this other date, though. He’s definitely playing games and you should run away
Break up with her
You specifically mentioned “none” and “mad” it did read as you were including both comments, especially when I clarified and you responded again
Trust your gut, keep your eyes open, work on your marriage. Make it so she has no time or need to think about anyone except you. Don’t smother her but don’t leave any part of her emotional needs open for him to occupy
Our clinics made us sign paperwork that decided the embryo rights in case of divorce. In my case I have the rights. Do you remember signing such things?
I think he is being unfair and led you on. Make the choice you need for happiness.
Yes. Yes they can, and they do.
Check expiration, check later. If he's living alone and some are missing later, it's likely he is seeing someone else. But right now it's just assumptions. Could have been an old box. He could possibly be using him on himself but that's highly, highly unlikely.