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Model from: co
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 2001-07-26
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
I shouldn’t have done that because he did tell me before.
the longer you wait, the harder it will be to end it.
just tell him you don't think it's working for you and you want to separate. keep it short and sweet. you don't owe him a deep explanation. just tell him you don't think you two are compatible and you aren't ready to be committed to something like this. if you go into detail, he'll try to persuade into staying.
and yes, try to gather the courage to do it in person. breaking up over text is never good.
I’ve accidentally hit my boyfriend in the balls during sex, cuddling, play wrestling, and even at a water park! While he has obviously either yelled that it hurt or bitched about it upon impact, he accepts my apology and doesn’t yell or break things. That’s how it should be. Your boyfriend is a piece of abusive, manipulative trash and you need to just move on. Whose name is on the lease?
You do it in-front of your kids and partner or??
Depends. Is he a long time boyfriend that has a friendship with your brother and is close with your family? In that case to me the joke is just a joke. But since your brother is offended I’m guessing they’re not close enough for him to tease him like that and your boyfriend should maybe just apologize
One of the most important things in a relationship are boundaries and they can change or new ones can be added as the relationship progresses, that is completely normal. And either he can respect those boundaries or he can leave if it doesn’t work for him. Boundaries are essential for keeping yourself in a relationship safe and respected and letting your partner know what he should or shouldn’t do in order to be in a healthy relationship with you
Without examples we have no idea.
Sure, but not over something dumb like that
I think people are entitled to set whatever standards they want regardless of where you think they fall on the spectrum.
Just because 5'10″ is an above-average height doesn't mean that women aren't allowed to prefer taller. Does it limit the dating pool? Yes. Every standard does. The goal isn't to increase your chances of finding someone, it's to increase your chances of finding someone good.
I do get a lot of bitter vibes from your post. However, I do agree that dating apps suck. I've never had success with them, and I've met zero of my partners on dating apps.
I think that everyone has a tendency to misrepresent themselves on these apps. It's like crafting a resume for a date. The profiles are contrived, and people attempt to strike a balance between portraying themselves in an honest light, and making themselves seem interesting.
I could not bring myself to create some false image of myself on an app in order to get dates. Because it's not like I'm going to keep that up forever. Eventually, they'll be disappointed. But being completely, 100% honest about myself did not get me matches.
I think everyone has unrealistic expectations due to the media in general. It certainly isn't just women. Maybe rating yourself a 6/10 is an unrealistic expectation. Maybe it's unrealistic to expect tons of women to be into you, considering you seem a little sexist. It's pretty entitled to believe women should be attracted to you, and if they aren't, that means they have a problem. Sure, women probably have it easier on dating apps. Guys do tend to swipe right on everyone. But this just means women have more guys to filter through. It doesn't really matter if a guy swipes right on a woman when she's not interested anyway.
I'd also argue that women have much higher expectations surrounding their appearance than men do.
Get Out.
Being a people pleaser can turn into a real serious problem if this tendency is starting to affect you negatively. He should be in your corner, but he's probably been this doormat his whole life. Have you guys thought about couple's counseling? This is definitely something that can be worked on.
Please stop talking to her about this. Everything you say is setting else to twist against you. Call a lawyer, tell them you want out of the relationship + need help.
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I think you’re in the wrong sub
An open relationship is just cheating with extra steps. Being single is a much better alternative.
Your long-time friend is unhinged. You should refuse to do the testimonial. You should also refuse to be the chaperone at any more visitations – they need to hire a social worker or someone like that.
I think you should let the wife know that you are concerned for her safety because of the degree of irrational hatred her ex is expressing, and she might want to take some precautions if she hasn't already.
Ask her if she’s willing to give a bidet a try. Otherwise you will need to be in a place where you have your own bathroom and she will be expected to take care of her toilet and any plumbing fees. That can be with her or without her. But make sure you don’t frame it as an ultimatum or as agggessively as me, the Reddit asshole free to who can be a smart ass about the situation. I am a female, and I prob use too much to BUT not to that point. At the levels you are describing it sounds like a borderline compulsion.
Plan out some things you want to say ahead of time, and learn to say those phrases. Showing that you’re making an effort will go a long way.
Run don’t walk honey. You’re not safe and seem clueless to that fact.
Well, what would be the reason she would want to leave?
I wouldnt say that he is a loser, just sometimes has bad decision-making choices. He doesnt do this too often, it just irritates me when it does
This sounds like hell for everyone involved. Not hyperbolically.
BF should collect donkey figures, because he’s an ass.
Nah you should dump him. He seems like a pathological liar. Hell lie about anything and everything else too
he said I could have it
Does he own you? Wtf?
If he’s going to feel controlled and stifled by you sending one text clarifying expectations he’s likely too fragile to date.
I noticed you kept referring to “asking him” about the terms rather than setting your own terms. By all means send one text telling him what you think the terms should be then he can respond with a counter offer if he chooses. And learn the lesson for next time that it’s much easier to have this conversation in the moment. Though I must say this relationship sounds doomed
OP clarified it is just character info, with simple lines said with no RP'ing the sexual side. I think it's fine, just weird how she always has a relationship with Duke's characters in most campaigns.
Also, why do I feel so guilty for wanting to break up with him and he end up homeless?
I don't know the relationship, but I'm going to guess that is because you care about him. Regardless of his actions, you still care and worry about him.
As for the actual question of:
What does one (35F) say to their drunk boyfriend (30M) after they’ve told you “you’re lucky you’re a chick or I would have beat the shit out of you by now”?
If you want to avoid conflict, you'd probably say something like, “I am really lucky then!” With a semi-smile to avoid provoking them in their drunk state.
The obvious answer is to get out of their, leave him homeless if possible, and move on with your life to better yourself. But, as this is reality, not a fairytale, I would recommend you start collecting documentation on the abuse, verbal or physical, and start taking steps to leave the relationship, such as reaching out to friends or family for support.
I was very close to an addict who was always broke and homeless. I was contacted frequently for money. I stopped giving money at all, and started having groceries delivered when it was needed. I couldn't let them starve, but I refused to give them cash. I don't know if you can do this in Mongolia, but if it is an option, it at least gives you peace of mind that it isn't being spent on drugs.
This was not at all what I had in mind when I read recording conversations. I do that with my husband but he has ADHD and genuinely cannot remember the stuff he spews at me during a fight, so I'll record him (with his permission), so that he can remember the crap he said to me. But the recording is not used as a threat, but to prevent “he said, she said” moments afterwards when we are working towards a resolution.
Your partner sounds like they are in dire need of therapy. It almost sounds like they are trying to manipulate the argument and your communication to them, is not landing.
Be blunt. Forget the “i DoN’t WaNnA hUrT hIs FeElInGs” excuse, you have to let him know the harshest way possible
No. That age gap and the experience gap that goes with it is too wide. Treasure the friendship and, to whatever extent he's comfortable with, look to him for advice in navigating the weirdness that is young adulthood- especially when you're not straight & cis- but don't try to enter into any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with him.
But it sounds like they have 50/50 split custody, so that doesn't track. The daughter spends half her time with mom in the old apartment and half with dad in his new place. If dad kept the apartment, she would be half time in the old place with dad and half with mom in her new place.
But like don’t actually
So your trauma does inform a big part of why it takes you so long to think through choices or ideas. You had a mother in your formative years who forced her own opinions and made you scared of your own. It strikes me at least part of coming to accept your own opinions will be getting over that trauma, or making your peace with it and the idea that what she said and did shouldn't determine who you are now.
As for abandonment yes, moving is a factor but it needn't be so literal. Your mother was controlling, but implicit to her controlling your opinions was the idea that she was dismissing you as a person. Even though she was overbearing the reality is that she abandoned you, made you instead an object she manipulated. I am sorry you went through that.
Letting it go too far is something you have to be careful with as well. Often that can lead to becoming abusive. Luckily you seem to not get that far but… and this is a big but… you have been toxic. And abuse tends to escalate over time. There are paths ahead of you and one of them is very dark if you go down it.
Rather than trying to get there in a manual way instead the focus could be in working out what is stopping it. You've identified a significant number of traumas, poor coping mechanisms, manifestations of toxicity and etc. You want the result, but I think right now you have a lot to work with in terms of the cause.
Right what are you on about and why are you talking about double standards? A man has as much right as a woman to change his HEAD hair or his beard hair… and their partners have as much right to like or dislike it as they want. And as much say to date or not date someone based on liking or not liking these things before they meet them and afterwards.
My bf is going bald. I'm not going to break up with him when he decides to shave his remaining head hair off one day… but I definitely prefer him having it.
The downvoted are because for some reason you wanted to make this about gender and double standards when honestly, there isn't any. Everyone is entitled to do whatever the fuck they want with their hair, and anyone considering or currently dating them is entitled to like or dislike it.
Bro this man is falling apart and doesn’t care enough to take care of him self even at the expense of others. I would run away. What future is there with a person like this?
Jokes are funny. He's insecure and slowly chipping away at your self confidence. Get out. This is not the guy for you
Pretty sure if she wanted to be wearing them she would. They aren’t some super secret item nobody knows about.
Ask him in front of everyone if he's doing it on purpose. Don't be accusatory or aggressive. Embrace the awkwardness.
Wisdom, right here!
i'll say cus he got angry you asked, there is for sure something going on
In a nutshell, he wanted the wedding, you did not. And now you are doing all of the planning, and he is doing none. Why would you agree to a big wedding and knew you'd probably be doing all the work (because it sounds like he always defaults work to you and did before this event, too), if you didn't even want it to begin with? I'd say if he really wanted it and you were ok with going through one, then he should have done all the planning, otherwise he doesn't really want it either. Please leave him. He's made your life so much harder already and I promise it won't get better after the marriage is official. That changes nothing.
So there are a couple things I'd suggest.
First: try and be strictly professional with this guy, if he tries flirting with you just don't respond or give a very polite canned reaponse. Your goal is to give him the signal that you're not interested.
Second: Stop stalking him on social media. I know it's tempting, but you mentioned that one of the reasons you know it's just a crush is because you don't know his personality. But the more you try and get to know him, that crush will last longer and longer.
Finally: Try spending some time with your boyfriend. Go on some nice dates, do things y'all enjoy together, remind yourself why you like this guy so much.
You can only control your behavior, and you're acting like a psycho creep. Don't make excuses just stop, leave her, work on yourself and then consider dating
Yuck. Your boyfriend paid for sex. He sees sex as transactional. That doesn’t change once you get into a relationship and that’s why it was easy for him to lie to you. He doesn’t see sex and something you share with someone. It’s something you purchase.
I think so. Often for some cheating can be a symptom of their own insecurity, mental illness, etc. all of which can be addressed with therapy and intense work. The real question would be if you believe that this guy has actually put in the work and if you would be willing to take the gamble.
In my opinion, I wouldn’t give him the chance but this is due to my own feelings. I know cheating is something that will emotionally destroy me so why put myself in that situation if there is even a chance.
If she hasn’t lied about other partners why would she suddenly lie about this guy raping her. Idiotic thing to say. It was all before she met him.
That’s an ex girlfriend if I ever saw one. If you have any brains, you send her packing.
Sorry that is way too long to explain the full situation of that one. However that was something that I understand that really really hurt him. That's also why I'm wondering if I should be more considerate than I'm being at the moment because i caused him to feel so shit and on edge
This absolutely! He hasn’t done anything about it and it’s on him to set the boundary.
You mean when he just sat quietly and let himself be bullied and never stood up for himself? You want your victim back?