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Hummmmmmm. So, he lied to you and your wondering if you should trust him. I think you know you cant
She said in a separate comment she wouldn't and wouldn't believe him if she were in his shoes
Dude. You don’t get to pick “I want to do the right thing” to feel noble but say “I’m afraid of the consequences”. That makes you scum. If the right thing we’re easy the world would be sunshine and rainbows. The world sucks because the right thing is very hot and people like you exist.
Based on your post history it appears that she’s in a bad place mentally. It’s not normal for 15 year old girls to smoke and vape. I understand her feeling stressed out by these sort of environments, have you ever considered visiting her home instead? “Till we have our own place to on-line in” is way too unrealistic. You are both teenagers with a life ahead of you but sometimes its just not meant to be. Teenage love is filled with bad people and is often not built on true affection, and just being experimental and horny. Take it easy bro
Assuming what? She cheated in the past. OP said it in a Reply. And OP had doubt about the paternity of his son.
Therefore, he already doesnt trust her, and has reasons not to. And of what i understood she's more of a roomate than anything.
Now, there's something else that adds up imo. OP posted on r/Threesome. So she seems open to the Idea Of fucking other guys than her Husband.
Now, would that be crazy to assume that someone who is open to have sex with someone else than her Husband, and has cheated in the past, and who is offering nothing but a room mate relation ship to the said Husband, is cheating?
I'm not going to bag on you for having a 32 year age gap. I personally wanted to date some older cats out there thats around the same ages when i was in my early 20s if it wasnt for judgement from family. I've been in love with someone much older like that too, only because they were a truly good person and i connected with older people much more with music and interests.
however, what i will point out and say: for the next relationship, if its not your kid, dont play mommy. he manipulated the fuck out of you, thinking younger women were just seggsual beings when youre a lot deeper than that. I dont give a shit, their real mother will have a fucking cow over that.
do yourself a favor and take his entire paycheck THEN leave, to pay yourself for damages. If he wont let you leave? call CPS and threaten to get his kid taken he will want to let you leave then.
This may be hot to hear but I mean it from a nice place. If a person says they don’t want a relationship, believe them. You cannot force someone to want a relationship.
Can she sleep with and date who she wants with out you or society saying she’s doing something wrong?
Meybe they should stay together to keep a couple cheaters away from everyone else
Yes, end the relationship.
It will only get worse when you marry.
He is set in his ways and will not change.
Save yourself from a world of hurt. He’s really not bringing anything to the relationship.
It’s better to be alone then miserable.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
So me and my girlfriend started as friends with benefits and a month in she fucked another guy (which is fine). Now four months later we're in a relationship and about a month ago i asked her if he was better. She said he was and when i asked how she said that he was faster, was able to get better angles (due to his dick shape and various positions) and also with how he spoke, what he said and how he would stop and not carry on until she begged him. It's been tearing me up for weeks now. Furthermore, she doesn't ever ask for sex and i feel like i have to ask her for it, it won't ever naturally come about because she doesn't engage and seems like she views it as a task. She claims this is due to me being out of her league and being nervous but i can't help but feel she'd just rather be fucking the other guy and doesn't want me. I don't know what to do, i cant see myself ever getting over it and i'm considering breaking up with her to save myself the pain. Any advice? please
He’s not a bad guy though, he’s never done anything like this before if anything I’m the one that more at blame then he is I get angry and upset easily
You can't get over it because you know it will happen again. Someone who intends to not do something hurtful again won't even consider trying to explain it away.
This will escalate. Please be safe OP.
Let him go. Nobody should suffer like you are.
Time to hit the road
Y'all think I love him cause he's hot and it's not true we have been friend since we were 10, we never started this until we started dating tbh we've always had a bond, and no I think he can change his racist ways
I find your point of view to be incredibly problematic and victim-blaming. Controlling a man’s reaction is not a woman’s responsibility. Do we do it all the time to avoid violence? Absolutely. But shifting the responsibility for men’s actions to women is very dangerous and just continues the narrative that men shouldn’t be held accountable.
You're not responsible for that, his choices are ruining his life.
And hits her on the top of the head and slaps her leg
Why don’t you have friends? Where is your family? What about colleagues? Why no money? Can you sell things you own? Ok FB? You need to sort it out my guy. It’s your life you choose. But ideally I’d say to this bf. Can we talk when he gets back and sit down and have a cuddle and a cup of tea and hear him out. Maybe it’s you? Maybe you’re really clingy? And need to let him breathe? Maybe. Any whoo. I’d ask him to go somewhere else for a few days while you have a roof over your head and you sort out your next steps and make decisions.
that's what i thought but i was having second thoughts so i came here. you're right i should end things before it gets hot. thanks for sharing this really helped
Has he seen a doctor? My husband was like this after our second was born and I couldn’t/wouldn’t deal so I insisted that he talk to his. He was prescribed a mild anti-depressant and he’s a changed person. He still gets snappy from time to time but it’s what I would consider a normal amount, and he’s also gotten better about balancing kid time vs me time when he’s home with them.
If you care about your kids in the slightest you need to engage a lawyer like yesterday.
I’m 30 and I’d rather shoot myself in the foot than date a 19 year old. This is creepy and wrong and I am glad you’re breaking up with him.
Why do you keep claiming you do most of the chores? That’s impossible considering you’re working most the day.
So let me try to summarize: what I’m hearing you say is that you don’t like it that she runs things by friends before talking to you when there and issue. Is that right?
If yes, then isn’t that what you’re doing now?
Friends tend to talk about things including relationships.
The first person I (44F) am going to call if my partner and I have a conflict is my good friend. I want her opinion on how to proceed or maybe I must want to vent.
I don’t see the problem. Seems to me that you just don’t want anyone thinking of you as a bad guy.
If I'm okay with this for now, is this sustainable?
Probably not. Number one because unequally open relationships are almost never sustainable, and number two because even though you go out of your way to say you're “okay” with this arrangement you almost always qualify it with something like “for now,” or “I'd rather have her in my life in this capacity than not at all.” Whether you realize it or not that is your dissatisfaction with this arrangement seeping out. You do not actually seem okay with this, you're just willing to tolerate it. That is very different.
For a situation like this to work you'd need to love the fact that she has an open relationship and you don't, and you'd need to enjoy seeing these update posts from her with her ex doing couple activities. You'd need to not be sitting there wishing you were doing them with her, or that you had her all to yourself. I don't think any of that is the case with you, is it?
The impression I get is that you're tolerating this because you want her around in some capacity, but if you had your preference you would be a monogamous couple. If that's the case then no, this will not be sustainable at all. Your resentments will build and build until you end up hating her, or her ex, or yourself for going along with this arrangement. This does not seem like something you enthusiastically want, and asymmetrical relationships like this rarely work out even when both partners ARE 100% on board. They're especially doomed when one partner is living it up and the other is quietly trying to endure it.
Time to communicate how you feel as clearly as possible.
“In order to work, a relationship has to serve the needs of the people in it. This relationship is not serving my needs and it hasn't been for a while. Something has to change fundamentally to make this relationship fair. Adults in the same household should contribute equally. I am no longer willing to pull my weight and yours too. Are you willing to be an equal partner or not, husband? Decide. If you're not going to be an equal partner on an ongoing basis, be honest about it so I can consider my options. Don't pretend you're going to do things you have no intention of doing long term. I can't respect a liar.”
I’m not proud of this, but my wife absolutely hates the smell of bleach. So I always decide to deep clean on Sundays about an hour before football. I spray that Sh*t everywhere. She leaves till it dissipates. I text her when I think the smell is gone ( or after overtime)
I really don't understand why you would need to have sex with other people to keep life from being boring. We the right partner sex is also not boring so, again, I don't understand the argument. Perhaps he needs to put more effort and creativity into your sex life. That is if you still want him. I agree with you that sometimes something happens and it totally changes the way you see someone and there is no going back.
I'd guess that he had someone in mind already and doesn't want to admit it.
I think he has more than enough for…at least 18y ?
Take it to HR, give them refusals in writing and tell them their behaviour is unprofessional.
Don't change your gym schedule, just alert the management there and ignore them at the gym.
Either it's a deal breaker for you or it isn't.
And from what you've written, it sounds like this is a deal breaker.
She's your responsibility and it sounds like she needs a parent. Unfortunately, this situation isn't going to be easy. I don't know your wife. She may be okay with it and treat her well, problem solved. She may not be okay with it and the child has to come first, you will also need to watch how she treats the child. Please have this discussion first and deal with your relationship from there. At this point the child's welfare has to come first. Bonding will also take time so do not expect it to be easy for a long time, just keep at it, she needs you. Do let the child visit her grandmother too, it will also help with the transition. Good luck to you all.
No one is saying he's wrong to step up for his daughter. They're saying if OP's husband loves this kid he just met more than his wife that he's known for 4 years, their marriage isn't that great. They're talking about his feelings, not what he owes to this kid or what he should do.
I agree, that was the case as it's not normally like that. No matter where she is or who she's with she would normally reply. There's even days were we would only send a few messages with work etc.
I admit I do like the woman, however I don't like when I'm trying to organise date plans and dont get a reply only to find out she's having drinks with another guy lol
They could be separated. No contempt prior to investigation.
Maybe she burned that bridge and made him close the door to this side of himself. You can talk to him about it without letting him know you about the post. Set your expectations, again, and ask him what mental or financial boundaries might prevent him from accomplishing those expectations. Then be honest with yourself, is this something you’re willing to argue about for 5 years? Can your self esteem take the hit of not feeling loved? How long are you willing to be patient?
He's talking shit. Women his age aren't willing to put up with his controlling horseshit.
He's controlling where you go, controlling who you see, starting to isolate you, controlling your body autonomy and wants you babied up ASAP? He's upset when you push back? Of course he is, you're not being the compliant, submissive, well controlled little woman he wants.
I see loneliness and black eyes in your future
Then there's that Turkish guy who cooks for everyone…
racism, antisemitism, misogyny, etc. are all biases and beliefs that people actively choose to uphold. if you choose to keep company with these people, you're no better than they are. even if you're not “actively engaging” you are showing that you tolerate these beliefs and actions and don't take any issue with it.
there is no “peace” or middle ground or “agree to disagree”. if you hang around nazis, or even worse, try and “justify” what they're saying, you are a nazi.
Sweetheart, does this man bring any joy to your life? Let’s just list what you’ve said in your post:
He’s cheating on your by at least sexting other girls and maybe more He’s a deadbeat and you have to pay for everything He makes you feel bad about yourself when you know there’s nothing wrong with you He makes you feel guilty for MAKING FRIENDS with someone He made you so insecure you have developed a kind of OCD about cleaning yourself (your vagina should not be cleaned this many times a day, you’ll be affecting your natural balance), and have changed SO MUCH…and he STILL doesn’t appreciate you?
Like, honey, you’re young. Ditch this waste of space! Find someone who makes you feel happy and appreciated, or be on your own and make yourself happy. Ditch this loser!