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Easy – go talk to her, ask her out maybe?
He is cheating on you. And from what I have read, it's not the first time. Looks like he will have to buy you out. If you are in the U.S., with the current housing market, you will make out fine. Why you would want to stay with a violent cheater is beyond me. Take this POS to the cleaners.
Maybe it’s my sexism showing, an aunt that had a place for a nibling to sleep over at times doesn’t sound suspicious but an unrelated uncle, that sets off grooming alarm bells.
Maybe it’s all innocent and your boyfriend has been in a coma for the last 50 years and doesn’t know how strange and creepy that would sound to any parent.
It’s the same stigma single dads face when it comes to sleepovers. The prevalence of child abuse makes it a risky proposition for the non host parent even if the guy has no bad intentions.
Why do you want to ever see this guy again?
Nah that seems ok
Money involvements can lead to deterioration of relationships, keep that in mind.
Exactly right there with you man She hasn't spoken to me in 5 days and I'm just gonna let her keep it up. I'm done. I don't deserve being walked out on.
Yeah you don’t owe those people and apology (except your husband,it doesn’t sound like he was in on it) they owe you a massive one.
She is crushing on you and wants you to date her. Be the man
You're 20 and considering marriage? No.
He already cheated; what's stopping him from doing it again?
If he was as great and caring as you say, he would not have cheated because he values you and your relationship.
Discover yourself as a person and learn to love her. Build great friendships and professional connections while you are active duty. Leave the dusty behind.
I agree. I've been up and down in weight, and my spouse always loved me for me.
However, my spouse is not a gym guy or a fitness person. He's not sporty. If he was, then that would be a lifestyle difference that would probably kill the relationship. I don't want to go hiking and camping every weekend or go for a run after work. If my partner did, then I would find us incompatible. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes people are just incompatible.
An ultimatum won’t work. It’s been 16 hours since you’ve posted this. And it sounds like he has had a full night without you as well. He will either have already had time to go through and delete anything that would incriminate him, or he won’t show you because he can’t be sure of whether he’d delete something you’ve already seen which would then confirm he deleted stuff. Or he deleted the whole conversation and doesn’t want you to find out, hence the screenshots, probably sent by the coworker to try to cover his mistake. He lied to you about this woman. He lied to you about who was picking him up from this Christmas party. Just kick him out and let him deal with the consequences of his actions…
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We didn’t have a time set and I was up at the same time he offered to watch a movie the day before and also the day after. It seems like you interpreted the conversation the same way I did, that I woke up too late for the movie and missed the boat. That’s not what he’s saying the problem was though, it’s that after I woke up I made the small talk instead of asking about the movie and then I started running errands. He said he was available to watch the movie when I woke up but I never indicated I wanted to.
So what is the problem really?
Him quitting his job, or him not being with you during weekends?
That's emotional abuse – or his best attempt at it. Run for the hills sis.
He works at a steel mill. They don't give him enough hours to qualify for health insurance. He currently lives with a roommate to help pay for an apartment.
My wife says she is fine with him moving in, but any stay longer than a year would be a red flag. And she wants him to get a job asap and show that he's saving up money.
I agree finances make relationships messy. But 3 years ago I didn't want to see him homeless, so I helped. Thanks for your time, I really love him and don't want to see him couch surfing again. But pretty soon I won't be able to help him anymore.
I would agree if the mom did it right after the divorce. That’s what spiteful people do but she waited until the op became an adult and could make there own decisions.
It’s not, hence the quotation marks… but, in the eyes of her fiancé…
No he should leave her. PPD or not both were mourning the loss, the difference is she decided to go out and fuck someone else. She deserves to be left
Yea it’s definitely not pro-choice to think a woman having an abortion makes her impure. Ridiculous.
People need some “me” time also.
Sure, i miss being single but then again, i dont.
The title and the body of your thread don't seem related. On one hand she's criticizing you at work; on the other, she wants you to have sex with her. Please clarify.
On second thought, don't. Develop a spine and stand up to her and let her know she can't push you around.
LOL tears for who? I get tested regularly and don’t have sex without a condom. If we didn’t speak tomorrow after a 8 week relationship…. trust me i’ll be okay. I’m winning, get all the perks of a relationship without being in one. Try it. If you’re not too ugly to find a man that would do that for you
I hear what your trying to say and agree with you.
We all have differing boundaries, it was also his boundary for me. There is no dictating.
Your girl's got Bill Clinton beat.
There's a matter of distance and time. To reach a planet on a distant star, without knowing whether you arrive at any interesting time, and whether the planet is worth visiting, is like hitting a bullseye on a moving target at 100 miles with an arrow, when you don't even know the target is there. The travel will require thousands of years.
Thanks for your answer !!
Yep, it all pointing to that. At least a serious risk of it.
Favorites, sure. Kinks, no.
They're a libertarian. They almost certainly are arguing this as a proxy to the concept of age of consent laws.
These age gaps just get more creepy. You're the hot young thing who thinks the age gap isn't an issue, and he brags to his friends about it. He's made it pretty clear what he wants, but you seem to want to find any answer but the obvious one. I'd almost bet that he'll either leave you or mess around to get sex.
THIS. it's so necessary, so easy, and people still refuse – I don't understand lol
It may be helpful to encourage your partner to reflect on his feelings and identify any specific areas of the relationship that he feels are lacking. Or try to find ways to strengthen your connection. Like trying new things together, making time for regular date nights or activities that you both enjoy.
If your partner is not willing to work on the relationship or if you feel that your needs are not being met, it may be time to consider whether the relationship is still right for you.
Ultimately, it's up to both you and your partner to determine what you want and need in a relationship.
There’s also a fair bit of evolution/biology but yep
You don't want to come across as insensitive or anything, but you also don't want to ignore what's going on with your friend. I think the most important thing is just to listen to her, man. If she wants to talk about the funeral or her friend, just listen and be there for her. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't push her. You know? Just be there for her, let her know you're there to support her in whatever way she needs.
And as for the paranoia she's feeling about other friends being suicidal, that's a rough one, bro. I think the best thing you can do is just let her know that she's not alone and encourage her to talk to someone about it, like a therapist or a trusted friend. The last thing you want is for her to bottle up her feelings and end up in a bad place herself.
Just be a good friend, man. That's all she needs right now.
It’s not a joke! Learning how to touch your partner is important.
Run, don't walk. Please care about you enough to not deal with this. You are so young. Wanting a man who you don't have to fight with for them to brush their teeth is still bar on the floor.. this is setting the bar under the ground.
As someone that dated an autistic person i fucking agree. Lord yes my ex used to be very blunt with her opinions aswell but we talked about it. She was a very kind person and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings she just lacked the ability to see where those words hurt because no one actually told her that before me.
And that was that. We talked it was okay. Seems like OPs gf needs him to actually communicate if he wants to be in this relationship about what's making him unhappy and if he's already done that they just aren't compatible. You can be as understanding of someone's differences as you can be but that doesn't excuse being shitty after that's been told to you politely. Then it's time to go.
They just aren't compatible and OP shouldn't stay in the relationship. You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm simply because you want to be understanding. If he's not happy he should leave.
He sexually assaulted you. You now know what type of man he is. You can stay with him and continue to be his victim because that is what you’re going to be, or you can break up with him.
You had no choice as to whether or not, he sexually assaulted you in the first place, you were asleep. You have a choice now. And you have all the information you need to know what he is.
You opened yourself up to him and told him that being sexually assaulted in your sleep was an issue for you and your past. He took advantage of that and did it to you again. He is a bad human being, and he’s going to continue to abuse you if you stay with him.
You weren’t slightly violated. You were sexually assaulted.
6 months is about right.
How can he be not ready if he already leads a relationship with you? Like you can't hang out or be anymore close with each other, so just put a fucking label on it and tell him to unclench his asshole.
Kinda silly ngl.
Oh gotcha!
Leave anyone who cheats on you.
If people cheat on you, then they either don't respect your intelligence and think you're too stupid to find out, or they don't respect your personhood by betraying your trust openly.
nope, not opposed! he went to therapy for most of his life because of family stuff.
I don’t know what you’re worried about you’re totally safe because you know he doesn’t even know where to get roofies. /s
You might have a daily customer on OF, watch out for him!
If your roommate wasnt leaving, would you still want him to move in? Bc while paying rent/bills in this situation would be absolutely normal, dont rush moving in together just bc you need a roommate.
Yes you should leave her. You cannot trust this person.
On the bright side, she could be just trying to make you jealous. It surprisingly common. So please don't thing about it that much. Also, bigger isn't always better – on the contrary as then sex can be just painful.
You’ll grow out of it. Remember to take care of yourself as if you were a person you are responsible for taking care of.
Your boyfriend is stepping waaaaaaaay over the line dictating what property of YOURS that you keep or sell, especially when he's not paying any rent or bills outside of food. He needs to grow tf up
I would put my foot down and say that the chair and the car are staying, and rescind the offer to house him if he keeps this up. I would rethink the relationship all together if he can't respect how you wish to process YOUR abuse/SA (by not letting physical objects you own be a reminder of them) and keep making this all about him.
Listen. It’s never going back to the way it was. It will change. You need to accept that. However, it can come back to some degree. Your wife clearly is struggling and needs help – mentally and with the running of your home/family. Focus on this, and you’ll see what the changes can look like when she’s feeling well.
I’m not expecting him to make anything better and I know it’s not his fault that this happened to me. I guess when I say protect, I say stand up for me and tell me to report it. I am saying I don’t know if I should just forgive and forget this, or should I not let this go and leave. I’ve had my parents not stand up for me as a child and worked hot to get over that so now I am starting to feel the same.
People have all sorts of boundaries for their relationships. If his partner wants to dance with other men, she's free to do so single.
This is not how consent works. He can ask but you can say yes or no. It sounds like you don’t feel like “no” is an option which is not cool. Expecting head every day is rich!
“but we are in an open relationship”
“We are in a dead bedroom”
“My wife doesn't understand me, while you do”
“We are separated at home”
“I married her for her money”
“I married her to make our families happy”
“I don't love her anymore. I love you”
The clown will come back with one of those lines.
I guess because the one time I said it to someone which was after an entire year of me and that person dating, that person just responded with “I know you do” and it shattered me. I know this guy isn’t the one from my past but of course mt apprehension and fear is still here
If I'm honest she sounds like a right pain in the arse. If you've got far enough to write this including lots of examples, then I would say it's time so make a new friend and bye to this one.
No point wasting time on people you don't really like especially if they are leading the way to bullying.
Sack her off, find better. There will always be more
okay, so you know why. get therapy so you can change it. stop setting this terrible fucking example for your poor kids.
Honestly, you have a point. I’ll admit, I’ve never been good at loss, so walking away won’t be easy; I love him very much, but the damage that’s been done has lead to so much stress and anxiety for both me and him, not to mention the plethora of unhealthy behaviors I haven’t mentioned.
I think maybe I should discuss this some more with my therapist next session and see what the best course of action might be. Thank you for your comments and input! I very much appreciate it
Help what? She's a shitty toxic leech. The answer is really obvious. Lose her.
Or she could’ve been a minor when they lived in the same house and this was going on.
I know that! And I know he doesn’t care about my flaws either. But idk, for some reason he’s starting to look and talk like a waaay older man which is just weird for me. I’m in law school and I see a lot of people our age, which is why I think I’ve been noticing the change.
I do want a long term relationship, but I feel like I’m too young to be with someone that feels and looks way older than his actual age.
I think it’s down to preference and sensitivity, for me I lose almost all the sensation so I would probably just stop the “shooting” with toilet paper but it’s down to the guys sensitivity since we all have a Different sensitivity. I don’t think it’s worth it in my case I would rather stand up and shoot it in the toilet.
Wow this is the worst. I’ve gone though this. For me it’s been better being apart from him and the family. I don’t think he’ll change tbh. It’s his job to bring you around and help you feel comfortable around his family. He doesn’t care how you appear to his family. Worrying about this is an energy killer. Literally made me feel so helpless and alone for so many years. If he doesn’t change leave him