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You say your parents are abusive, well so is your bf.
Sure you shouldn't have pushed his chair, but 1) that in NO way justifies what he did and 2) It sounds like he was acting like a immature brat to begin with.
It is not ok for one partner to hit the other. But if attacked you have every right to defend yourself if necessary.
However none of this is what a loving couple would do. You are in a toxic situation. Whether you choose to remain there depends on you.
I think they are being entitled. But calling it out isn’t going to get you anywhere. I’d just take this as a lesson to go on seperate holidays in the future.