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The silent treatment is a form of abuse. What he is doing is cruel and not something you do to a person you care about.
Question for you; did you never, in the four years that you've been together and known he has been learning, try to talk to him and help him practice? Seriously?
I kind of get saying that it's okay to speak English around your parents but like, if he's learning why would you have never offered to be a conversation partner? Like even in private? The biggest difficulty with learning a language is speaking because to learn the proper tones and grammar and how to make it sound natural requires practice, but you didn't think in 4 years to offer help? I just can't get past that.
For him, not only did y'all deny him the opportunity to learn and be a part of something that would be very close to you and your family but then y'all act surprised when you found out that yeah, he still learned despite not being able to practice. The RSD (as a symptom of his autism) would have made him feel way worse. To him, his speaking your language caused massive drama and made him feel like crap, and that's probably how he's going to associate it with for at least a while.
Even if it was never your intent, you hurt him, and he is going to need time to come to terms with how he feels about what you did.
Respectfully, you're too close to the situation–he absolutely needs to be in therapy. What he's doing is NOT a normal reaction.
I'm constantly under stress due to being a litigation attorney. The holiday season increases my stress level considerably because it's the anniversary of my Dad's passing due to covid in 2020. I haven't raised my voice to my wife ever. Married 11 years. I used to occasionally punch the wall when I did something stupid, but it made my 9-month-old baby cry so I stopped 3 years ago.
Your ultimatum is completely appropriate. You feel bad because you've made a person you love feel bad, but it's necessary. Sometimes doing the right thing completely sucks. You did the right thing.
I brag about my wife all the time. My friends in healthy relationships do about theirs too. It’s fun to see my friends happy.
Spot on
Spot on
At this current stage you are going to lose her to another guy at some point.
My advice to you is completely cut her off now and she might just realise what she’s missing, you still fall asleep on the phone etc – which shows she does like having you around.
If she doesn’t try to sort things after cutting her off then you lose her but you were always going to anyway, if she does realise what she’s missing then you get her back.
Bruh why are you dating a girl who just recently cheated on her ex lmao. Bruh moment.
What about the friends who encouraged and didn’t want to interfere with such behaviour. I went upto them and said wtf are you doing, I don’t know who her bf is so unfortunately can’t let him know what’s happened but I am honestly just so shocked at all their behaviours
That doesn’t necessarily mean that at all. Way too much context missing. Depends how long they’ve been dating. The fact he says it’s in a good place, is basically saying it can get to that point. He would have answered much differently if he was 100% against it. By giving off the expectation of marriage, without being ready for it causes problems in itself.
I’ve seen it numerous times. Great relationship, than marriage gets brought up way too soon. It makes things weird, it becomes an obsessive focal point. Which self destructed any chance of it ever happening.
She needs therapy. She's deep in the FOG. Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. Her parents have control over her and probably have her entire life. Until she gets out of the FOG, she's not ready to get married.
I was always a bit of a weirdo but when I was dating I would have found this to be a breath of fresh air. No games, no guessing, just “hey let’s hang out again”.