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Yeah, that's very bpd esque. High emotions and feeling of connection on a level you've never felt before. With that said remember that reddit is not qualified to diagnose her.
Your affection is real but love doesn't solve all of life's problems. You need to be capable of working together in an effective way or willing to walk away forever.
I online in the US. I called the woman's refuge center in my state and they are full due to the weather being so cold, that's why I'm trying to get a hotel room for us until tomorrow. I've found a hotel room for $65 I just can't find anywhere that helps with vouchers.
I honestly understand you, I would also prefer to get something not perfect and not filled with beautiful words but written by himself BUT it's not something that terrible. talk to him, thank him for what he gave you, but explain that something straight from him would be closer to your heart
Your marriage will be legally void by reason of blood relation.
You're not going to jail, you guys didn't know. That's why they use the careful phrasing “do you know of any lawful reason you should not wed?”
That being said, the state would not have sanctioned the marriage in the first place if it was known you were related
Take this information to a medical doctor as it affects the health of your kids. I'm no expert, but there can be consequences in your offspring, and you should look for that
This is a Greek tragedy, or a shit post. Assuming it's real, I'm sorry for what's happened to you. Don't have more kids. Do you want to salvage your relationship and marriage? My advice would be to get an annulment and work on what that future will look like
You get to decide how you want your life to be. You can focus on the things that make you depressed and hopeless or you can build a life that brings you joy and reminds you why you're here. It's obviously easier said than done… But I think children give a lot of people a 'reason' and bring people a lot of joy.
that would be a w
I'm gonna be honest here, I didn't even have to read the entire thing to say this. I got to the 2nd or 3rd sentence to make this judgement: break up with him and keep the cat! He already cheated once just because he didn't sleep with the person doesn't make it not cheating. Cats will never cheat on you and make you feel shitty so they can get another cat. KEEP THE CAT! DITCH THE DODO!
Did she have any kind of trauma in her past?
My god, thank you for this sane comment. These commenters are unbelievably jealous weirdos.
Document it. Get a lawyer. “Not pleased with you sexually” is just code for her being a cheat.
Best friends don’t betray each other. She isn’t who you thought she was.
She sounds like a boring person. I get bored of people who never have anything interesting to say.
Her lying is not okay and neither is your forced “participation “. She can go pick a more appropriate place to do that if she wants to be sneaky and lie about it. If you turned her down for sex and then jerked off next to her everyone on here would be screaming assault.
Have you discussed this with him? If you tell him how to love you and he doesn’t listen to you you guys are not compatible.
The protocol is any picture you willingly give to someone else is theirs forever.
If they blackmail you or otherwise try to cause issues? Then you can look into stuff like revenge porn laws and the like – which it doesn't sound like is the issue here.
Even if you say “Please delete them”? You'll never know… and, it doesn't sound like you asked in the first place. Always assume those pictures will be around for forever and act accordingly.
Are you sure he’s staying at his mothers? Either way you disregarded his red flags early on with this guy and this is the result. He is not BF, fiancé, husband, daddy, or any type of relationship material. Document the neglect and get full custody and child support. He is not wanting to be in your and your child’s life. You need to accept it and and focus on protecting your child. Let go of your neediness for a guy, a toxic one at that.
If you think sex is a “chore” and divorce and therapy are off the table….. maybe you should start doing your chores because it isn’t fair to him.
You nailed it! A bunch of idiots giving advice to one another and most of all the OP who thinks he is the victim in this story
Dude. You sound absolutely insane and insecure to the max. She’s given you no inkling that she would cheat or that’s she’s untrustworthy but you keep pushing and snooping trying to find something to incriminate her. If you keep assuming the worst of her, then no doubt she will leave you for other people. If you can’t trust her and you can’t control yourself from being insecure, then it seems you are far ready from being in a relationship.
Immediate in utero paternity test, great idea.
Same to you
I'll be made the bad guy in this situation, but that's to be expected. I don't care what her family or friends have to say about me. I haven't run my mouth about what's she's done to anyone.
He sounds like a loser tbh, and I don't think you can convince a loser to not be one. He has to want to do it himself.
You don't even sound like you're in a real, loving relationship that goes both ways – it seems like he's using you to be his mom, and then complains at you when it's convenient for him. That's not something I would ever tolerate in a partner.
Because they’re frustrated with me for keeping myself in a situation I know is toxic to me and my children. Because they’re not in my shoes, they don’t understand that I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out feeling like an idiot for falling in love with someone and starting a life with him just for him to repay everything I’ve done for us with abuse. It’s frustrating to want someone to help themselves and they seem to refuse. I get it. But this shit is very hot on many levels.
As we mature, we find out who we are, our values change, and we grow in different directions. Friends who don't mature at the same rate or whose values don't align with ours anymore get left behind, and that is okay. It is good you are recognizing that you and she are no longer a good fit. Distance yourself and move on. You have outgrown this friendship, and that is no ones fault.
Yeah, different girl but they are actually complete opposites when it comes to everything besides posting their bodies on the internet.
I think at this point she can’t trust anything that asshole says
Thats not the issue tho, my gf was perfectly okay with it.
You need to leave, there’s really no other answer.
Dude. Drop it. If she starts looking for you then you’re good. If not, you’re good because you dropped it.
I am fully aware that I was an asshole in that situation and acted immaturely and selfishly in that particular incident, I even said as much. It was out of character for me and something I regret doing. We all do stupid shit sometimes when emotions run out of control. I'm sure you're no different than anyone else and have done some dumb shit you regret. If you haven't then you aren't human. At least I am mature enough to recognize and admit it.
I know some guys who used to intentionally try to be mysterious, and they would spin these mythical half stories to suck people in because it is an easy way to build intimacy with someone.
The person thinks they're being told something unique that hasnt been shared with other people. It piques their interest, and they pull closer because it's human nature to want closure on an interesting tale. Over some time, some new breadcrumbs of information are dropped to keep you interested without providing that closure.
This, honestly, sounds exactly like what you're describing here.
Either he's a predator or a manipulative bullshitter. Whichever one it is, I personally wouldn't bother maintaining the friendship.
It was so painful to read!
I don't blame you. Money may not make you happy, but a lack thereof (or debt) will make you unhappy.
For me to stay, she'd have to have a great paying job, and I'm watching her pay it off. The stress of the whole thing would make my life miserable.
You have only been dating for a few months? Damn her mask slipped off quick!! GOOD. Sooner she revealed her true nature, the better.
Some of these psychos hold up the facade for years. Imagine a few years down the road, married, kid on the way and suddenly her inner demon is let loose. YIKES…messy.
You didn't dodge a bullet. You successfully dodged a freakin missile. ???
You told her your boundaries, and she ignored them. What will happen if they meet?
What he wants doesn’t matter when it comes to YOUR body. You are NOT his to share. The fact he asked his friends before speaking to you is extremely disrespectful and leads me to think he views you as less than human. He cares more about discussing it with the other man than the person who will be getting fucked by him. Idk, this would be a huge deal breaker for me. Please don’t do anything you don’t want to. You’re not obligated to play out his fantasies and after spending enough time on this sub, these types of things always tend to go poorly. I can’t tell you how many posts like this I’ve seen where the man gets upset at his wife after he nonstop pressured her into fucking someone else. Some relationships even ended. Just be careful and remember : saying no it’s absolutely valid and he isn’t entitled to pimp you out to his friends at a whim.
Insecure that you won't be enough to keep her?
My online dating ended up in 4 year ongoing relationship
Go out and get a hummer from some other girl and just tell her you were just curious. See how that flies. Trust is a delicate thing. Difficult to repair.