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To be honest I wouldn't go for either one. Your husband cheated and is in love with his AP, and your high school sweetheart has a history of cheating as well. I wouldn't trust either one of them myself, but if you feel you absolutely must choose one, go with the HSS and see how it goes. Just go into it with extreme caution.
You can't set boundaries for others and you certainly don't get to forbid someone to not watch movies or skip certain parts because of your insecurities. It's no one's job to work through this, but yours. You need to rethink your expectations, because they are unrealistic.
Plenty of victims know they can't win in a court that favors rapists so they don't bother, and that doesn't make them responsible for what the predator goes on to do
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Oh my god leave like yesterday
Thank god someone said this and had the links. It frustrates me no end being a microbiologist! Honestly gonorrhoea outside the body is pathetic and often refuses to grow even when given the perfect conditions!!
u/ThrowRakiterunner23 A person who really loves you would not act so disrespectfully towards you, and would be trying to support and encourage you to be healthy and recover from losing three children. Keep rereading that until you believe it.
Dude- if you don't want to get married, and don't consider it a requirement, you absolutely have that conversation pro-actively. You don't date someone for years who seems to be marriage minded, and just hope it doesn't come up. She's done waiting for you- she asked that question because the answer determined whether or not she left your ass. You said you planned on marrying her at some point. If that's a lie you tell her now. If you still aren't ready after 6 years, it means you don't want to marry her, but you don't want to have to deal with a break up, which is cowardly as hell. You're not in the “getting to know you” phase after six years where that question can be a maybe. Just tell her so she can stop wasting her time and dump you.
If you need resources for help please DM me your general location or intended location. I’ll happily help find you places that can help you get on your feet and get you safely away from this situation.
Seriously?
So she is also willing to spend 50k on you too?
I believe in equals, not this sort of shit.
remindme! 1 month
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Always found it odd that this works this way only when the roles are “man doesn't want, and woman does”. If it was “man wants, and woman doesn't” then its suddenly not “if you make it, then you pay for it” and the guys input is absolutely 100% forgone. I get the whole bodily autonomy thing, but there is obviously an unequal treatment going on here.
There should honestly be laws protecting people who are forced into being unwilling parents. Obviously this would be pretty one sided to help men in areas with open access to abortion, but that would instantly make this fair for both people involved.
I mean technically you're right. But you're also showing her you arent considering her or this relationship in your long term plans.
At the end of the day, her reaction is her problem. You are not responsible for her “doing anything to herself”. And if that was something she was going to do…. This would not be a healthy relationship for you anyway
I would just try to be as reassuring as possible. Preface the conversation by telling her that you need to talk to her about something important to you and you’d like if she could be supportive and try to understand. Tell her that you care about her. You are trying to communicate as effectively as possible about your needs because you want things to work out long term. This isn’t an attempt to distance yourself from the relationship. You are just two different people and have different needs. So there needs to be compromise. Assure her again that you care about her and aren’t going anywhere.
Do not let her use her emotions to hold you hostage or keep you in a situation where you aren’t happy. You should be able to discuss your needs with your partner without being worried about them hurting themselves. The fact that you are concerned about this is a huge red flag. You should really consider if this is the type of person you want to be with.
So he’s got an addiction and substance abuse problem.
He’s not getting better.
For whatever reason, he’s escaping through the bottle.
I think it's a twofer- people often have some sort of freeze reaction in the moment when shocked, so it seems like they are acquiescent.
Even though someone by their goddamn 30s should understand consent, porn consumption + the internet has culturally shifted expectations and normalized a lot of behavior that actually deserves clear consent first.
I think all porn sites should be regulated to have a mandatory 1 minute or so public service announcement on what safe consent is, but it will never happen.
Even if he isn't projecting… how on earth can you live comfortably with a guy who won't even take a reasonable answer. Unless the answer he him catching her doing something then it isn't good enough.
This is nuts. Sometimes unexplainable things happen. But the fact that he's now trying to catch you in something, spare yourself. He is insane.
Again, she is 18, trying to tell her story, and you are obviously bringing your own bullshit into your bad opinion.
It isn't invalidating him for her to try to describe HOW they tried to have sex to a bunch of strangers on the internet.
Also, if you want to go down this road, you are invalidating her and her boyfriend/fwb's story, identity, and experience by trying to tell her that her use of f4f is invalidating the person she is sleeping with and everything else she has said.
It is presumptuous and arrogant to think that your bad take and unkind judgement of this woman's story should be taken seriously.
It's done and she walked out on him.
Even if the other man is not really interested in her and just uses her for emotional support. She left the relationship already.
Maybe she also quit her medication. That talk about how it numbed her… mostly is the result of meds being not taken anymore.
Thank you!!
Question, are you certain he is not dating others? Absolutely certain? Even dating apps, texting, etc?
Question, are you certain he is not dating others? Absolutely certain? Even dating apps, texting, etc?
I'm not saying you're bad or wrong or whatever—I mean, you do you, I guess?—but it's just wild to me that you are uncomfortable with your husband's nudity and sexuality.
Yeah this is a pretty simple solution. Quit doing him favors. Dude can work for a living.
As a child of divorce, I can only imagine they’re more unhappy watching all of this go down. Personally I’d say, be open and honest with them about all of your reasons (don’t go off about their dad, just say how you feel) and include them in the discussion of how they want custody to look, or even just how they feel about possible separation. That’s just imo and I don’t have kids, so take it with a grain of salt!