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I like the yellow flag thing. I told him if he lies to me about ANYTHING, no matter how small, its going to make me worried he's lie about anything at all. Which he told me he understood and would feel the same way. I do understand how awkwardly saying “Uhhh NOO never” to something very obvious is different than weaving a big and devastating lie. Its not good and I let him know I only accept full and total honesty in relationships, which he agrees is good.
Once I reminded him of the book, I'm not kidding, he wept. And he's rather emotional like that. He went and finished it right then and told me how much he cherishes it and won't take things from me for granted again. It was a book of poems and like, journal entries I wrote him every day about how much I love him and funny things we've done and said together over time. He said no one has ever done anything like that for him before and he didn't even know how to react.
You're right about his history – I started to panic it was a “true colors” thing, when I should feel silly for overthinking what a 22/23 year old did, very briefly, who is now over 27.
Thank you so much for your well thought out feedback. Its helping me a lot.
Your wife is strait. End of story.