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He cheated on you and lied to you. That will always be in the back of your head and will likely mess with your mental health if you get back with him.
Cut him out of your life.
Also he told you no to meeting up and you showed up anyway…. Was an exercise in bad judgement.
Also expressing your feeling hurt isn't manipulative.
I think you should consider therapy and also talk to your doctor about how you feel… Ie depressed, tired, racing mind etc.
There are meds that can help with mental health issues…
Lack of respect is an understatement. OP, I truly respect your reaction to this situation. She needs to be cut of out your life and personally, I think she deserves a swift kick in the ass. Best of luck to you. This situation is exactly why I have less than a handful of girlfriends I can truly call my friends.
Straight up, tell him you have a new man, you are not interested in him, DO NOT want his gifts, and do not want to see him ever again. Then block him on everything. Do not give him access to you. File a restraining order and get mace if you don't feel comfortable with getting a CCW and a hand gun for your protection from this literal STALKER.
Lmao right? Like how is he just gonna breeze past that ?
? I was just re reading and struggling I don’t feel like fixing it hope someone just read it
Yeah, he explodes every time I ask “oh are you visiting (Xyz female friend) any friends while you’re in Chicago (on a work trip). He yells “stop! I’m not doing this with you!”
If you get serious with him she will likely end up feeling like she is your kid, especially at 4 with a mostly absent mother. If you are okay with that then I say see how things go, just be sure if things keep going you are sure about how you feel before you start being around her and she has time to get attached.
Handle it by telling her good luck in her future endeavors but that is one of your lines in the sand, if she can't just stop the behavior immediately then it's over.
Whether I think I was or am or not. It’s not a big deal to me that I stopped. I was a smoker for 12 years. Tried quitting that was naked to quit
She was never worthy of my great ideals
Break up – controlling and dumb guy!
I've recommended therapy before but she claims it doesn't work for her that she's been in therapy before and she was never able to open up so there's no point
It seems that way.. I don't know what is wrong with me and why I can't walk away.
If you want to be in a romantic relationship, you need to shower every day. It's that simple.
In my head I dumped her in the first paragraph where you say she gets drunk and hostile and aggressive. She sounds charming. And a cheater to boot. She’s trickle truthing you. All lies. Dump her
Depending on where you live, you might want to seriously consider checking out Al-Anon meetings before making any big decisions about your relationship. It was originally set up for family and loved ones of alcoholics, but it’s an outstanding resource for anyone dealing with any type of addictive behavior.
The reason I’m suggesting Al-Anon is because it’s probably not coincidental that you ended up in a relationship with an addict. Almost 100% of the time, those of us who do end up in one have unresolved family history that caused us to become so attracted to that person in the first place, and simply making a change in the current relationship won’t address the real underlying issue. It’s not to say that the current relationship isn’t a real issue, just that there are virtually always deeper levels that I strongly recommend you explore.
He is claiming wanting to be fluid and open to exploring to get you on board to justify his, most likely, already cheating behaviors. So later when it happens, he can claim you already discussed it
The question is are you ok with him, or you, having sex with other people? Sounds like that’s a no. So, if not then there is your answer to staying in the relationship or not.
With that list of diagnoses, and the behavior cycle you describe, I think you can expect a continuing relationship to have lots of peaks and valleys. You can also expect she may not make a great mother, if you're thinking about children.
He’s fucking Kevin.
What is it that you would expect her to do for you?
You should take some cold medicine and go to bed. Do you want her to sit on the couch all night while you're in bed sleeping?
Check update
omg lady
This is not okay. The first time you said no should have been the end of his attempts.
You do realize that simply changing the weasel words you use isn't going to solve anything, right? I'm not talking to you the chatbot, I'm talking to whoever programmed you. At some point you're going to have to make this thing be specific.
What’s his point, tho? You make the money, you and your mom take care of the kids and the house. What does he do, other than being an ass to people who are helpful and kind to him?
We've being talking for 2months more or less and we've done a lot of video chats. I'm sure that she is who she is, besides I have her in multiple social media.
Yeah, the feelings part are the most worrying for me, but I am not sure about it. Maybe we'll see each other and it will be just for fun.
They got some toys so they had things to unwrap. My oldest also got some face stuff and gift cards to some clothing stores she likes.
Oh a busybody. They're sinners too, are you going to cut them out of your life for being nosey?
My house mate smelled this bad. Hair, body, this continuous horrible odor always lingering.
I figured out what it was.
1- He showered every day, but for the 10 years together I noticed not once did he buy soap or shampoo (he wasn’t using mine for sure) when I asked him he said “all that stuff dries my skin out. So he was just standing in water every time.
2- He’s fucking towel, oof, he would walk out of the shower with his towel around his waist, then dry himself off in his room. He’d then get dressed and leave, but the towel completely soaked sat on the edge of his bed for the entire day. He then would use that same towel, without any new towels, and back on the bed.
3- The towel would dampen his bed and leave a continuous oder and he slept in it each day.
4- He would do his laundry and dump it all on the end of his bed, and it just sat their growing into a monster. He never hung his clothes up or knew you had to air them out.
5- He wasn’t raised by anyone but his mother. No friends or family. So I think no one ever taught him good hygiene.
I wonder if she’s doing any of the above.
Could you please send the comments directly to my messages? Almost all of them are getting canceled and I only get to read the beggining.
We met a year ago.. no. My friend gave me his fb/Instagram info and I contacted him on fb.. but I debated Instagram because it’s more popular. He never gave me his socials but my friend did and just told me to reach out. Apparently he didn’t mind that
Whatever you decide to do, please talk to a lawyer to figure out how to protect yourself in this situation. They may also have some insight as to why she would go about buying property with you and then changing the arrangement as soon as papers are signed.
2 kids in 10mos…not twins I’m assuming?? Damn! Your poor body haha ?? you deserve the hottest, best, most luxurious bath ever after such a feat.
They clearly have very strong feelings for each other. For whatever reason, he can't seem to let her go.
Their “friendship” was inappropriate on every level. There's not a single woman that would be okay with it.
I honestly would have broken up with him a long time ago. I'm not sure why you're trying to keep a guy that will never be yours. He should just date her and stop the mess he creates by doing this.
It’s because her life revolves around her children and you. The only way she can resolve this is if she makes friends or go on conference or retreat for herself. If she found something to keep her busy one night per week that would help. Your post sounds like you only help out with the kids on your game day. But the rest of the time, she deals with them. Her nights after the kids go to bed is her bonding alone time with you. But but hanging out until 2-3a routinely with non bonding night is almost like spending the night with someone else. She would need to be weened off being so dependent on you for her happiness. You may need to text her from time to time during your game until she can get comfortable with it.
To recap, no one has been unfaithful, you have a very nonstandard view of cheating, and no one is being sexist when they enjoy platonic affection.
Right but it’s not… they are quite young girls cuddling each other. Seems the more fair comparison would be if she had a problem with him cuddling his close guy friends..
There's two methods and both allow you to penetrate, but with one it's a little more difficult.
Did he get physical affection from his family? Things like hugs/kisses?
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This is maddening but I need advices on what to do.
I (32M) have been married with Thea (31F) for 2 years. Before that, we dated for 4 years. We always got along well as a couple but there was always something that annoyed her and was source of endless arguments: I was Thea's first, while she wasn't mine.
For me, it's not a problem but I understood that it was for her, so I tried my best to be kind, gentle and sympathetic toward any kind of insecurities she showed in the past.
Unfortunately, the more time we spent together, the more this “complex” of her grew and now she basically take out this argument whenever we argue ( which, fortunately, it doesn't happen often).
We tried therapy but it was as useful as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
I'm simply sick of it so these days I simply apologize and shut myself down whenever she start complaining about it I simply shut down myself and wait until she stops ranting.
Recently, though, things escalated in a disaster.
Two days ago I had a really bad day. You know, those days that start bad and get worse throughout the whole day? When I came back home, it was really late and I was exhausted so, when Thea started shouting at me, I snapped. I told her that after 6 whole years together I'm sick of hearing complains about something I have no control over. That I understood being insecure at the beginning of our relationship but that if 6 happy years together didn't vanquish her doubts, then nothing will.
I'm currently sleeping at my brother's house, asking myself what more I could do. I need advices.
TLDR: My wife is angry because I was her first but she wasn't mine. The situation has become unbearable and I don't know what to do.
Well in all fairness, he’s not working so he had plenty of time to jot down a few notes of things his gf can do to get his life back in order. /s I’m wondering what exactly he plans to do for himself? creating that mess and expecting someone else to clean it up will hardly teach him a lesson.
Her expectations are ridiculous.