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1. Shes struggling immensely with mental health and the relationship that the two of you forged is very co dependent (like most young relationships are). There is nothing wrong with this being a deal breaker for you. It’s very important to put your own oxygen mask on first and prioritize your well-being.

   If you want to stay in the relationship, here are a few suggestions: * Establish rules. You both need to leave emotionally draining conversations when you are out of emotional bandwidth. My friends use the phrase “I’m tapping out” for this. * Communicate whether you are problem solving, venting, or reality checking. If both of you are coming into a conversation either different intents then you will spend a whole being frustrated and off track. For example, if you try to calm her down to problem solve when she’s reality checking then that’s unintentionally invalidating. Or if your looking for solutions her listening as if you were just venting will unintentionally indicate to you that she doesn’t want to solve tour problems. A lot of people default to one mode and it’s a common communication issue. * You need to establish boundaries. If you’ve tapped out then she needs to not call you. If she won’t listen to boundaries you need to remove yourself (either for a short time or breaking up). * You both need to devote some time to fun. It’s important to be each other’s support, but it’s also important to have some lighter moments. * You should tell her that you can’t be her whole support system. That’s not healthy for you and honestly not good for her either. She should start to build support outside of you. Therapy and support groups can be really helpful for that. Honestly even Reddit forums can be a place to start. Posting in r/BPD, r/CPTSD and reading things from ADHD forums is what pushed me to find irl resources. * She needs a way to put thoughts down. This is kind of not your boundary to make, but strongly suggest it to her. Writing down emotional thoughts can be a good way to prevent spirals. It’s alright for her to be very emotional and those emotions are valid. But she needs to be mindful of how much her current way of working through them effects you. She probably also needs to start being honest about how it effects her too.

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