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Rachel Rivers, 22 y.o.
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No worries! Insecurity is common, just make sure to be aware of it and own up to it. And absolutely explain your thought process to your bf, and let him know that you’re working on your insecurity. If he understands it, it’ll be easier for him to be aware of it when he’s trying to communicate something with you.
A woman can have a high body count (what does it even mean??) but still be loyal, eh. I don't call it toxic, I call it being extremely insecure
This girl is low class and shallow and frankly you deserve better than this treatment.
He's never going to be good and kind again. It's never going to happen.
If you leave him maybe he'll hit rock bottom and decide to get therapy. Maybe.
But therapy doesn't work if you're going just to make someone else get off your back. So even if the ultimatum makes him go, he won't do it consistently, he won't put in the work, he won't change. It has to come from him.
He's the one who's abusive and manipulative. Maybe that wasn't his intention, maybe its the job, but that's the reality of the situation. He has anger issues and no control over himself. You're not feeling safe in your own home. It WON'T get better.
If he knows that and still said that “it's all in your head”..Yeah he knows he can manipulate the hell out of you and he's doing right now
Here’s my advice post a tl;dr since you’re “all over the place”.
i think it’s a stretch to say that she took away his right to choose. the options are stay with me and don’t have a baby, or leave me and do. if she had decided that she didn’t want kids because there is a history of birth defects or mental illness in her family is she wrong for not disclosing the reason?
encouraging or demanding that she justify her reasons just makes it easier for someone to feel entitled to talk her out of it imo. it doesn’t matter if the flying spaghetti monster told her not to, what’s decided is decided
it doesn’t matter that you feel like he shouldn’t have been hurt. it doesn’t matter that you don’t understand why he was hurt. it’s weird and controlling that you think you get to dictate how HE felt about things that happened to HIM. it suggests a lack of empathy on your part, something you should probably work on if you want to have healthy relationships with human beings.
Serial? He won’t.
Ask your wife to challenge her to do polygraph to expose her lying self. Otherwise you need to go at least LC with the family.
I want to let it go so badly. I just cant. I have a real issue letting things go when I feel an injustice has been committed
You gotta let her go man. There's no scenario in this situation where you'll get what you want. She's pregnant now and there's no going back from that. Cut your losses and move on.
Y’all women act like men need to give you everything and work, do all the chores, cook, clean, take care of the baby and do laundry all the time just to get sec once a week…. I feel like there’s some bias feminism going on here. I want logic not feminism
I hope you have a bad sleep tonight.
There's a lot of stuff after that though. You're focusing on cooking in almost all of your other replies too
Okay first off, baby-you is cute and fine.
Secondly, you two are very young. Wait for a while, so you can mature and experince a bit more of life first. Why the rush?
Yea there’s more going on here and tbh it doesn’t sound good. You know what it takes for a parent to be given NO rights to a child?
I know you’re probably young but you really need to wake up and realize that sometimes parents are shitty. People with money and resources are rarely denied visitation. Also the 10 year age gap between your bio parents is also ringing alarm bells.
If you cannot be mature about this you need to leave it alone. You’re playing with fire here
You couldn't make it up lol
This is a very challenging topic to navigate. Full disclosure, I'm a guy, happily married, and my wife took my last name. That's what I preferred, but if she wanted to keep her last name then I wouldn't have made an issue of it. I tell you that so that you know I'm not here with an inherent progressive bias for lack of a better term.
I think if the both of you have a strong attachment to your last names, then you should keep them. I think you offered a reasonable compromise, but that doesn't work for him. That's also fine.
The only “issue” (I put it in quotes because I really don't want to say it's an issue) I have with you is when you end this by saying that joining last names is a sign of togetherness and your love. I'm assume you literally mean hyphenating them, which again, is a reasonable compromise and you were the only one making an effort to find one. Having said that, if you see last names as a sign of togetherness, you could also choose to take his.
It's otherwise not that big of a deal. It could get annoying with children, but even then it's still not that big of a deal. I know that, because I dealt with that as a kid. Good luck.
Sorry, but be doesn't sound very monogamous and like he's kind if screwing with you.
If you aren't comfortable with this, then your best bet is to cut it off now.
I think that’s really sound. Have a deep conversation with your bf, and even if things go south then at least you’ve shown him the respect he deserves in trying to communicate and to be honest.
Pot calling the kettle black over here. You can dish it out but you can't take it so you are going full nuclear because she got one up on you. Sure, continue to online a petty and small life. It doesn't matter if you were 15 or 30 when you did this. She's 45, she did this and you think it is appropriate to cut her out.
It does sound like a bit of bad forbodeing to me. You had no idea what a LDR would feel to you and he went through with it nonetheless, so I would say it's mostly on him, for putting you in a spot you don't feel comfortable in and expecting you to suck it up. I don't think you would be wrong to break up at that point. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
Block his number for one.
And If you have any male friends bring them over and giggle all night long so he gets the message.
Get a lock put on your door today and lock him when your in there.
When see him in common areas don't look at him act as if he not there.
If he carry on trying to talk, say
Look I don't want to be your friend you are disgusting and if you carry on Harassing me ill go to the police.
Yeah, that doesn’t seem very professional or realistic at all to put your spouse on video chat so he/she can babysit you during a lunch meeting with your assistant about up coming projects. If this extreme babysitting is needed in order to feel reassured, I would say this marriage has some huge issues that won’t be fixed over catering to a need to supervise.
Depends what area
So you were only “pretty sure” you wanted to marry this guy, then he acknowledges he had a great opportunity but couldn’t even put in the effort to go back to the car to make it special for you, then did the ONLY thing you asked him not to do. Now you can’t even look at your ring without sobbing. There’s a part of you that knows this guy ain’t it. Listen to your body and feelings.
A re-do is a nice gesture, but it shouldn’t have come to that. You shouldn’t have to ask for minimal respect of your wishes and the most minimal effort for the biggest question he should be ever asking you.
Would not worry about it have it checked for blood stains though, because if they recognize it, they may try and pin the murder on you!
Seriously if they say something tell em You thought it was still usable and would fit in your house. It was in the street. They won’t care who got it.
You “don’t want to get into” something that would answer some of your questions about this situation?
It means deep down he knows the answer but rather online in delusion