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For centuries, people have used the same vows again and again. Just because they didn't write those themselves, doesn't mean the meaning behind the words wasn't heartfelt. Your husband has found a modern way to track down the right words to express his feelings when he was unable to adequately word them himself. The feelings behind them are his, even if the words alwere generated from an algorithm that found the right words from thousands of examples written by others.
Go to med school, tell him you can't go now but in exchange arrange some nice weekend get away after your chemistry class with your bf and maybe invite his family. It's all you can do and hope he will be okay with it.
There’s nothing to “do” here. He went out to a holiday party (you were invited to that you chose not to attend), got embarrassingly drunk as non-big drinker might do while getting caught up in the moment, and got back home.
While home, his drunken comments were about wanting you around and being embarrassed he was so drunk. There’s no problem here.
Yeah, he’s going to be hungover and your errands might not happen. Are we going to make big deal out of this?
Is this like a thing some guys do? I’ve never had a man do something like this to my knowledge
This! I have been the “other girl” in the situation and it’s not nice knowing you’re being used as a pawn to upset someone else
Honestly you should move on. What happened happened, yes, but it seems she's kinda ashamed or she doesn't feel good about it right now, and apparently she doesn't want to date again. So as very hot as it is, you should move on.
It sounds like you have to treat your wife like she's a kid. Do you find she's immature generally?
Damn you have a victim complex the size of the fucking Eiffel Tower. Your choices put you here, you being abused has absolutely nothing to do with your deplorable actions now
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Only thing you can do is explain it to her exaclty how you explained it to us here. Just make sure you have the conversation in a neutral setting, not the next time it happens.
Just remain calm and if things get heated, explain that you're not trying to fight her, you just want your feelings to be understood.
Tbh what she's doing is super unfair and would be considered completely unacceptable if it was the other way round. Good luck OP
So your with someone for 3+ years, and because you thought you were drifting apart you broke up? Not a mention of couples counselling or anything of that sort? Did you discuss with her about the no sexual interaction? Seems kinda wasteful to throw 3 years away that easy, even more so with a kid involved
A lot self doubt and tried save it like 30 times what you expect me do
yes it would but if ur respectful and honest it is what it is. and i wouldn’t say weird in a very creepy way cuz it’s a reasonable thing to check if u got burned in the past, just nobody likes hearing there being watched ya know? just tell him a friend asked u if his location changed cuz she had a bad exp. so u checked and now u noticed it changed several times since. and it just make u think maybe he’s not as interested in progressing this relationship as i though. and if he’s honest and respectful his response will show
Family first on this situation. I don’t think you’ll ever break up with your sister. And this hardline from you partner is very telling of your future. What else will you be asked to sacrifice?
I think your girlfriend is jealous of your sister tbh…. We pick each other up in hard times. That’s what humans and family do.
yeah. i wouldnt want it to happen to me but honestly if it happened to my spouse and they didnt really care i wouldnt be mad at them
I’m having a very hot time with it because I just don’t understand. If he left her and he can’t stand her why won’t he stop??? He keeps saying I committed to keep paying through the end of this year, and I’m like dude we are talking about getting married and kids how could you have kept this from me after marriage?!!
What should I do to cope?
It's gonna sound bad, but the only answer is to get over it and look at it from the positive angle.
Like your BF sounds like a great dude. By the way you explain it, he isn't being forced to do this? I know a couple of men that would do the opposite and treat their ex's other children as less than their own kid. Which surprisingly sounds like you would rather have that?
My dad was a deadbeat so I like how they’ll have a father figure in their life.
This is the part that kinda bothered me. I grew up the same as you, and it sucked. You know it sucked compared to others who had at least a step-father around. Those kids probably make him so happy. Idc how long of a relationship its been, there are women out there who would genuinely support your boyfriend if you can't handle it.
Really hope her ex follows thru with non com, can't imagine being treated like this and coming out happy
Okay, enjoy being bitter into your mid 30s my guy. Imagine being a full grown adult and this upset over a comment that's clearly not advising someone to do something ?. It's possible, not recommended. I'm not gonna reply past this point because I'm busy, byeeeeee.
The frequency I wash my hair depends on its length. The longer my hair, the more often I wash it. Short hair gets every 2-3 days, depending on if I've used product. Long hair gets 7-10 day intervals.
HES IN A RELATIONSHIP
One of the first lines: “I don't like DrAmA.” /continues to cause more drama with their shi**y behavior
You can more assertive part of relationship just fine, there are plenty of relationship like that. Just so you know, people who would be more “manly” in your eyes would not put even half of effort your bf is putting in your relationship. I assure you men that leave women as single mothers, are abusive towards their partners etc, often come off as “manly”, but it is a very toxic type of masculinity.
Yes, it is.
Are you absolutely sure you want to have children with her?
And the kids. And she knows.
You need to develop a relationship with paragraphs.
This girl isn't interested anymore however, so move on.
Well fucking society. It’s just internalized. I have to unlearn it. After just hearing everywhere that women spoil at what is it, 25? (Thanks Leo DiCaprio) that’s unfortunately in my head. Plus my entire life getting the bare minimum from family/spouse. I’ll work on that with my therapist lmao
Pediatrician here. First off – never ever give your number to the parent of a patient. Second – you are an intern and so shouldn’t be giving medical advise unsupervised by your attending. Third – if your hospital finds out there could be an ethics investigation and you could lose your residency spot.
Do not do this. Do not engage with this woman. Always be polite but distant if you bump into patients/parents in public.
He used to be in a toxic relationship where his old partner also used blocking as a way to punish him. He says through me he now realizes that she was right and that he deserved to be blocked and locked out of the house back then even though he (like me) used to have panic attacks over it.
The thing about toxic relationships is you need to relearn what behaviors are toxic and what aren't. He's only saying he deserved it because it's not happening to him anymore. Would he be okay with it if you starting blocking him for no reason? He knows how you feel about being blocked but just doesn't care. With how childish and insensitive he is, why do you think it will be better when you're dating in person. Toxic behaviors tend to get worse when they're not being addressed and he dont think he's doing anything wrong. I would block him permanently.
You sound like a “nice guy”.
Why do you want things to work out? Seriously? Because it feels like failure? Because there’s no shame in recognizing a bad match.
I would try to get someone to take his place, failing that, take the trip solo. If he insists on coming, stay in separate rooms
I feel like I haven’t been listening to his problems and worries as much as he has to mine too
Is he your dad and did you have a curfew or were you grounded?
You are an adult and you can do whatever you want. He doesn't have you in a leash!
Why did you ask for forgiveness????? He should be the one asking that!
Are going to be a doormat in life and in relationship?
Was she like that when you were in a relationship?
My now ex used to do this too. Anything I used he would suddenly want and it included my towel. I even tried buying a very girly towel and he still used it.
I was doing a topical skin cancer treatment (Aldara cream) on my face and I specifically showed him the face washer I was using to wipe off the cream so he wouldn’t use it and, of course, he still used it so I told him his skin would probably peel off if he didn’t really scrub his face clean. It was funny watching him scrub it clean but it didn’t solve the problem. He would also take my pillow if I got up to use the bathroom during the night. People ask me why I never want to online with anybody again.
Ultimately, commitment isn't about desire. It's about character. A lot of people suffer because they don't understand this.
Yes that’s what I meant haha
PPD that developed two weeks ago? Which is 5 years after giving birth? Come on now, maybe she’s just a deadbeat.
So you chose a BF that's amazing but with no ambition or financial drive. Your relationship was unstable with breakups but you expect him to be the person you wished he was.
This is as good as it gets with him.
Accept him or choose better.
Anything else is just complaining.
Sometimes I'm too exhausted to do anything other than a kiss hello with my BF. But it doesn't bother him. If it did, I'd reassure him there and put effort in to make him feel better about it.
If it bothers you and she knows, she should really try to put some effort in, just to alleviate the negative you're feeling. She shouldn't be telling you that you need to be understanding. You're both in the relationship, so both sets of feelings matter.
If it's sex not just affection, that's not really something that applies to the above. Hugs, kisses, and cuddles are low enough effort to appease you both. Sex is too high effort when you're exhausted. Expecting that can be a tad unrealistic on your part.
She could be thinking you're trying to have sex and shutting that down instead of the affection.
Have a chat with her. Express your feelings and clarify that you just want the affection and that's all, no obligation for sex.
If you do want sex, plan it. Give her a night off from the kids and responsibility. She's still got the new job stress, but at least she's got a break at home. Let her take a nap while you handle the kids for a bit. Give her what she needs and she'll be able to give you what you both need.
Um, you're not a pedophile, but your partner may be.
He also cooks, cleans, does his own laundry. He cleans the litter box (he said it’s his chore, I don’t fight him on it lol).
He repairs and maintains our cars. He also maintains and repairs various things in our home. Plans renovations and does them himself. He handles our budget and finances. He’s also completing his masters thesis and is looking for full time work.
He also helps out his family and is on our ski clubs council. Gets daily exercise, and makes time for his hobbies. He’s an at home woodworker and makes things for our home.
We’re both equally busy.
That has nothing tondi with her father dating.
She has that issue regardless of his personal relationships
I think you might just need to be blunt with him. Something like:
‘Give it a rest mate, you’re old enough to be my dad and you’ve known me since I was a child. I don’t wanna hear how you think we’d be great together if you were younger, the facts are that you’re old and it’s gross that you’re thinking about me that way, much less saying it out loud. You need to back off, you’re being really creepy.’
People in relationships get turned on by the sight of others all the time. We don't suddenly go blind just because we're in a monogamous relationship. But in healthy relationships we don't tell our partners about it. His obvious attempt to force you to “compete” with other women is pretty lame IIBH. So maybe just tell him you'd prefer not to hear about it.
OP, body dysmorphia is a real, debilitating mental illness that doesn't get better without professional medical intervention. So get some help (because no one is going to be willing to online in the shadow of your crushing insecurities). You and this particular guy may have just been through too much to make it work. But going forward, don't destroy every relationship you have by walking this earth believing that the only way to keep a partner is to prevent them from ever looking at another woman. There'll always be someone more physically attractive than you are. But guys worth dating are looking for more than just a “perfect” body. Embrace what makes you you, and it's not the physical body you happen to be wrapped in.