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Think about why your children stopped talking to you, there’s your answer to everything. Leave that girl alone, she’s not talking to you for a reason. And if you try and force it, expect a restraining order. There’s clearly a reason your children stopped talking to you, so if you’re being blamed for things. I’d reevaluate and ask yourself why.
I started to type out that I'm 31 and couldn't imagine seriously dating a 22 year old, got deja vu, and then realized it's because I commented the exact same thing on a different thread yesterday.
Get your shit together 31 year old men.
I'm caught in the middle of all of this and I just have no idea what to do.
Why do YOU have to do anything? Why are you the problem solver between your girlfriend and her family?
She doesn't like therapists because she feels like they never see her side. Again, no idea wtf to do.
If what she is looking for from a therapist is validation that she is always right and everyone else is wrong then it doesn't surprise me that she “doesn't like therapists”. That's not what therapists are for. Therapists are there to help people process their emotions and understand their behaviours and choices, and to suggest tools to help people do those things in their day to day lives.
Should we find some sort of family therapy? I think she needs to be able to dissociate from her pain so she can discuss things calmly otherwise it's always going to end in screaming and crying.
I definitely think SHE should be working with a therapist on her own. (And, she is allowed to scream and cry at her therapist – she should find one who is trained to deal with people with volatile emotions who can help her learn to regulate and manage her strong emotional impulses.)