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I feel like my husband wrote this post. Lol. I so wish if this is how my husband feels that he would just keep talking and being more open about it. I am able to deal with him needing time alone, but what’s naked is he doesn’t tell me and then will out of no where be frustrated with me.
We have such a happy marriage, love hanging out, have been together since high school (22+ years), date and travel together. But sometimes I’m not sure if he wants to be alone because he just really wants to be alone or because I did something and can’t figure out what it is. That is what pushes me to try and talk to him and figure it out and he has a hard time just saying I think exactly how you are feeling. And I also feel guilty going to do something if I feel like he’s alone. He, by his own admission, hates to have talks and communicate so often I’m left in the dark and grasping at straws.
He has expressed a couple times out of frustration that he doesn’t like to answer to anyone and sometimes wonders if he isn’t meant to be in a relationship. This is painful to me because I know we are happy and I am constantly doing nice things for him and don’t know if he likes it or not. He obviously acts like he does to not hurt my feelings. He doesn’t quite articulate it like you so sometimes I am like, “wait is he mad?”
I don’t think you need a divorce over it. Just a conversation every once in a while that you are still happy and in love, but like doing your own thing. I could be so understanding of that instead of feeling happy but also not secure because I never know what is going on when he does get frustrated or doesn’t give me any reason why he is not wanting to hang out with me or why he rather be alone.
I know this is rambling, but if she supports you in doing this and still loves you then isn’t everyone going to be happy? Just communicate because it sounds like you have a good partner who will be okay with you being you. I know that if this is really how my husband felt – then I would not feel guilty planning and doing things on my own and going on trips with friends again and overall just not taking it personally when he wants to do his thing.
She's not making bad financial decisions,
She is 100% making a bad financial decision. There is no justification for selling the house before considering counselling. OP has made mistakes, for sure, but the way that mortgages work, breaking one this early means forfeiting a lot of money to the bank when OP and wifey could just rent it out or something. The decision doesn't need to made this quickly, for a 6 year relationship, why the fuck would you not consider counselling until the house situation is decided? It makes no sense at all…
Sounds like a bunch of issues. He is probably addicted to porn. He also sounds like a straight up asshole.
If you’ve been together 12 years, why do you think he’s going to change? Have you not been trying to make things better over this time? I bet you have, and things have probably stayed the same or gotten worse. No reason to think anything will change.
I bet you could do better
I’m a healthy 21 year old. I know it’s a bit unconventional but I don’t see why you’re insulting me. I feel awful about the whole thing already
Easy answer: DTMFA.
The difference between someone that drives drunk and doesn’t cause an accident, and someone that drives drunk and kills people, is luck. They both made the same choice to drive drunk, and it’s only by luck that one of them isn’t in prison.
I can’t imagine your friends would have the same reaction if he had killed an innocent person due to his selfish and dangerous actions. Neither situation should be socially acceptable. You did the right thing.