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Khate, Erick and susan, 19 y.o.
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That’s actually not true at all. You are not responsible for the actions of what other people do. She’s basically holding you hostage in a relationship with that threat. Are you going to stay forever and be unhappy just in case? Personally I would bring her to her parents house or a family member’s and tell her there. Id prep the family member beforehand and let them know she’s unstable and you need their help to take care of her when you tell her. Let them see how unreasonable she acts. The defecating when you argue is not normal nor is it ok for her to not get help for this problem and have it be a relationship issue.
Her issues are too big for you to take care of so take some time and think of who in her life can help you get her thru the breakup and then make a clean break so as not to give her any confusion about the possibility of getting back together