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It will take time with your therapist so acknowledge that. But the main takeaway is that he doesn’t feel the same way about you and he has been honest about it from the beginning. It doesn’t matter how sweet, funny, etc. he is, you can’t make him care about you and nothing you can do or change about yourself will make him feel it. Of course it hurts but and it will hurt more if he actually falls in love with someone else. So let him go, stop seeing him even if he wants to see you unless he is willing to commit. You can get through this. Your goal is to have a man love you the way you love him.
A lot of people don't know how to deal with this kind of thing. And then a lot of victims who have this kind of tragedies also expect different behaviors. Some don't want you to keep feeling sorry for them or even talking about it. I don't see it as a red flag at all.
I would say “You were right. I figured it out. I'm breaking up with you.”
If he asks why, “What do you mean why? You told me to figure it out, so I did. Bye.”
Or married