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She probably just made the decision to do whatever she wants while keeping it a secret.
You can’t apply other people’s shit onto everyone. I feel like you projecting onto him has caused him to disconnect. Stop trying to control other people. That’s also a sign you aren’t compatible. Imo he has unspoken issues he’s hiding but you’re not in the right either
Maybe you don't come off as “girlie.” Style of dress, hair, makeup, jewelry, that sort of thing.
And if that is the case, you are probably owning your own style, and shouldn't worry about it. You may project strength.
Yes, it is an emotional cheating. Keep in mind, despite what you may hear, it isn't wrong to be the person who likes a settled lifestyle. I refer to the other comment suggesting you to just travel or have fun. This isn't for everyone, if what you want, and what makes you happy would a committed relationship it is fine, if it is something it is fine as well. Although many people are still immature at this age, there are plenty who looks for committed relationship as well. It is up to you what you want.
You shouldn't bother with your girlfriend. Break up, you can do better than her. In future, you should be wary of when your partner tries to convince you your worries are baseless and paranoic. LDR is not something that you should want btw, if possible find someone closer to you, when you seek partners. As for worries in general, being open about your messages on phone and other things is a green flag, both from you, and other person. It does not mean people too keen on privacy are necessarily cheaters, but if they are you will have very hot time knowing. A yellow flag I suppose.