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Thanks for the context. So letās start from the post and come down to this response. Iām certainly going to need more context but letās go;
You broke up due to HIS commitment issues. Iām certain you need therapy yourself while Iāll address later, but if weāre to assume that he legitimately has issues, heās told you that he has no desire to fix them. Thatās unfortunately the end of it. Separately, staying friends is a mistake, because youāre logically not friends nor do you want to be.
Letās get into the recent specifics. You should logically plan for a living together situation in the future. You bringing it up may very well have been too soon, but thatās not how he addressed it. Living with someone, or more broadly taking big relationship steps doesnāt inherently create relationship issues. More often than not, issues exist, they donāt get addressed, and then steps are taken and those steps are blamed as the root cause.
Thatās where you are here. āWeāre both gonna get hurt?ā Why? Iām not suggesting you move in together at this point. In fact I highly advise against it.
The insecurities about not knowing why youāre with him is a separate problem. Having said all that, what has he done? Breaks are nonsense, so I inherently donāt blame you for breaking up. But whatās the deal?
Yes, he was faded and needed his mommy to put him to bed. Did you mean JADED?
Wow, youāre dumb. Go to therapy.
Tell your boss that his comments to you and other women are inappropriate in this day and age. That a good work relationship means respectful distance. And talk with you colleagues as well that they are on your side on this. When you talk with him, just state that you feel the need to tell him this as it is something that he has to learn in life for his job. That there are some situations where he would be reprimanded for this. You are older than he is, and was once his teacher, but that mantel back on for this conversation.