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Fellow ND person here who has often done that thing where I unconsciously contradict/argue a very minor statement from my spouse.
It might be helpful for you to mentally divide statements/topics into two categories if you think you hear somebody say something incorrect.
1) Unimportant. You don’t need to respond at all. Let it go. Nobody needs to know your opinion or level of knowledge about this, even if you ARE right.
2) Important. Getting this information right affects you or someone you care about. For this reason, how you approach the discussion matters as much as the correctness of the information you bring to the table. Set the talk aside for another time when you’ve had a while to organise your thoughts, come up with some phrases to present your information without dismissing the other person’s knowledge/perspective, and had time to fact check anything you’re not sure about.
You need to train yourself out of the default response of “I think this is incorrect and I need to say something.” That should be your last resort. Your automatic response should be “My opinion is not needed in this matter.” And then if it turns out it IS needed, you bring it up as a thoughtful considered discussion, not just a knee-jerk response borne from the habit of priding yourself on your memory.
Definitely do NOT validate this guy by telling him you ever had any sort of feelings for him!
If you think you can move past this for the sake of your friend group I would just say “thanks for saying that” in response to his ‘apology’ after a day or two or silence, and keep him a little more arms length from now on.
You don't change her mind. She doesn't want to spend her life with someone who can't fuck.
If this was a true scenario (which it clearly isn’t) then yes, you would be the asshole
You aren’t a bad guy. It’s not your job to stop him from hurting others. Sometimes all you can do is protect yourself. And that’s ok.