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“Men,” like women, aren’t all the same. If he’s into you and wants what you want then you’ll be absolutely fine. If he “takes you for granted,” then he likely wasn’t all that into you anyway.
I’d be concerned about his statement about obsession. I can’t for the life of me understand why he’d ever say that to you. So pay attention to bud behavior.
Shoot your shot. If he’s not ready to be exclusive then you’re likely just not right for each other. Good luck.
If he enjoys going out for drinks and activities with his friends, but not with you when you’d like to do that, then he’s not treating your relationship as important. You should be his best friend and he should want to hang with you wherever. Sounds like he’s unlikely to change – you’re his comfortable alternative to hanging with his pals.
That phrasing of “making it up to her” and “can use his hands for an extra couple weeks” along with the overall tone has me skeptical that was the commentor's intention. Also that it was a separate commentator and not OP saying it. When I hear “no sex until they make it up to you” that feels transactional.
It feels less like that commentor was trying to be reassuring/supportive of OP in telling her that and more that she was angry on OP's behalf (which is fine but again if the implication was to withhold sex and intimacy as a “punishment' for weeks then that isn't helpful. Not saying that isn't a possibility, but it doesn't read to me that way given the totality of circumstances.
I absolutely agree that she shouldn't force herself to have sex if she is legitimately uncomfortable and that comment is weighing on her. (Though if that discomfort legitimately lasts weeks to months for that comment then I think there are bigger issues in their relationship. I don't know how reasonable that is)