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Lmaooo
What the hell did I just read? This story is all over the place
we do use condoms! that might be it for sure
Lol, and you think he'd just come out and admit it if he was? If it's true, you're his next victim and he surely doesn't want to lose you now, would he? You don't have to break up, but it's reason enough to be cautious that someone felt the need to warn you. Just keep your eyes and ears open and as some ppl below have advised, look up what habits narcissists have so you know what it is that might point to these accusations being fact. Lots of women let things slide, don't notice and don't realize what they've gotten into until it's too late. You might be lucky enough to avoid it altogether thanks to this person. If it's a new relationship, sometimes you're bound to be wearing rose colored glasses and not be able to see the red flags.
Thank you. I’m not sure why it hit such a rough spot honestly. If she asked about my past history and to get checked, I would be open to it.
I was a virgin before her, and I always get medical examinations every year to make sure I’m in the know. It’s not to make her feel bad. It’s so we know the situation with 100% clarity, and can make informed decisions from there.
Christmas is coming… if you can stand it for 2 more weeks, buy her a “pampering pack”
I Tell my dad to drive carefully, that’s not mothering him, that’s a sign of caring. Try to change your way of feeling cause he won’t change. Or change your bf.
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Oof for some context, I fully know he does love me. It's a lack of physical intimacy, not love. But I'm also aware this isn't sustainable and as much as it breaks my heart I know that if he keeps refusing to help himself then things may have to end.
I know I can't be the one to fix him. I don't try to be. I encourage him to seek help and take the time to work on himself. I remind him that I'm here if he needs me but, as I admitted in my post, I can't help with trauma I can't even being to comprehend.
I think he thinks that the way he's coping with it is a healthy way. It's not that he spends all his time alone or watching shows, I only meant that he spends his free time doing that. He still helps around the house, plays with our pets, cooks dinner. I'm just noticing that his free time is more and more being spent secluded.
Just because you know it all doesn’t mean you have to express it all:
Ask yourself:
Is what am about to say kind? Necessary? Appropriate for the time and place? Something the other person can address and change in the next 5 minutes?
If it’s not, consider the consequences of expressing your thought in the moment. Especially if you’re comment is not necessary, just don’t.
If you need to get this thought out of your head care a small notebook and a pen and write down your thought. Then you can always return to it if you need to.
In the end it kinda is. Kinda. Assuming you don’t on-line in a country where it’s illegal.
Perhaps you should read more closely. I stated, “if someone isn't friends with any of their exes” , not that they should be friends with all of their exes. If they only have one ex, you don't have enough data to really determine this. But someone who has five, six or more exes and states that all of them were abusive and not worthy of friends indicates a problem, even if it is just that they choose poorly.
It’s what guys have to do to not get hurt. You know much easier it is for girls to move on? Guys are lined up. Guys have to put in alot of leg work
I have two tweens and two young adults. I have been in therapy basically my entire life and also since the divorce. The crying started on Christmas. Thank you for the ideas ??
Exactly what I thought. The friend is projecting on OP.
She was the one who said the guy was 10/10.
Get better friends. This one is a moron.
Your mom is wrong and dangerously so. If you listened to that, you'd stay with a man that would either wait your bio clock out or resent you for having kids and would likely leave you one day out of nowhere.
Being a good parent is already naked when you want it. You sound like you could make a great mom, but he sounds immature and he would make a shitty father because too. He doesn't want to be alone, so he tells you what he needs to, but doesn't want to go any further than that. He is a grown ass man and decides to stay in that rut. Too bad for him. You cannot light yourself on fire to keep him warm
Agree with this. As long as the idea that she feels forced to comply with your sexual demands, you need to take all sex off the table entirely. Even the sniff of non-consentuality should result in a complete safety shutdown until you talk and settle things out.
She may not be a safe person to be around. Everyone is trying to downplay her comments, but you cannot afford to. She is now dangerous to you unless and until you can sort out the situation.
Stop all sex until you can be sure she wants it and after this phone call, you cannot be sure of anything. She has proven herself untrustworthy by involving jer mom and using words like “forced”.
Personally I think you need to consider an exit plan. And certainly do not marry this woman until sex and this cloud around it is completely settled to your satisfaction and remember that dead bedrooms usually happen AFTER marriage has been secured. You will never get as much sex married as you do prior to marriage because they no longer need to please you to keep you around, and this person doesn't want to please you even now. It will not get better with marriage.
Why did he mess up what we had going?
You actually believe you had something special with this guy? Some loser who raw dogs all over town while pretending he's loyal to you and taking your money and gifts? And you sit there judging his baby mammas while you are no different? Girl….
Wouldn't her getting an STI be a worse risk for her? Isn't OP thinking about the grandkids too? If OP's son passed an STI to her DiL while pregnant, that's a huge risk to the babies that are already high risk.
I just don't see where you're getting your take from?
Wow- thats the worst kind if betrayal. I mean the people I hate most in the world don’t sabotage me and gloat when things go wrong for me. I cannot imagine the hurt of my own husband talking that way. Hopefully you on-line in a state that considers infidelity in divorce proceedings.
Right. Thank you very much!
Ya red flag. Protective and over bearing boarding. I wouldn't date someone who insinuated i was a stripper or was so invested in my friends genitals.
It’s a common thing. Just ask him to refrain for three days and see what happens.
I also found it strange in our session this weekend she was pushing us to consider opening our relationship, when we already are intimate everyday, I am pregnant with our twins, and we have been fully committed to each other. He gets anxious and closed off at times, but is consistent with his love and work towards building our happy family. The whole situation feels strange.
He is using your mouth as a flash light.
Also: You should nevrr feel uncomfortable to say no to a sex act. Only yes means yes and consent should always be enthusiastic and without a doubt.
Updateme!
Might not be ready to be married to someone who thinks like you, but this is some of the more asinine shit I've read on here.
Legs wrapped around him???? Absolutely not. He needs to look for a new assistant or have a VERY blunt conversation.