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I used to be married to a woman with similar issues (she divorced me). It some times took its toll, sure. We went to couples therapy very early in the marriage so I could better understand. For me, though, I felt it was worth committing; After all, I asked her to marry me for a reason, you know? My opinion is family comes first, even at the cost of my own sanity.
With that said, it is indeed a tough call and I do not think there is a right answer that you can apply to even the average. You have to decide for yourself. You are 50% of this relationship and I can not think of anything comparable that would survive being cut in half. You have to decide and online with that decision either way.
I will say this: My ex-wife– with a ton of effort and counseling– was moving towards being a more stable and balanced person at the end. Fast forward to today (nearly a decade later) and I still talk to her. Recently we briefly discussed our failed marriage and it was clear to me that she has made a lot of headway and I am proud of her. But my ex-wife is not your girlfriend.
Good luck, man. I do not think either option is particularly attractive to most people.
Ok I’ll think about that. I think in order for me to heal from this I do need reassurance from him about what it meant and that we can do things in the future to help him feel excited with me too?
Don't do it. Once open…there is no going back. Your marriage will be over. Once he starts sleeping with other women, he wont stop and will start having feelings.