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Get it OP ☝️ The choice is your Sitting in their lap ? Are you for real OP?
That’s what I’m afraid of 🙁 but I care about him a lot, he’s matured a lot since we first started dating, I’m hoping us living together will make him step up more
Oh my gosh.. honestly its just now that ive realized it.. thanks for pointing that out…
This would be way too much for me.
You need to make a decision. If you decide new guy, not bf, be a decent human being and break up with bf first. Telling him “you might” be in to someone else is just going to lead to a lot of non-useful drama and hurt.
Oh OP, I’m so sorry. Please know that what she says now is being said while she is not mentally stable, and will likely change as she gets better. You’re doing the right thing – she needs help.
Ok
I’m not underage
Oh man I didn't even think of it from this angle to me crying is like the body saying it can't manage the emotional damage what ever the case
It may prevent people from allowing themselves to be happy because they’re too nervous or scared. A lot of people just settle with never dating again because of it.. and spend the rest of their lives lonely. I think conversation could help with that.
Thank you!!!! I wasn’t sure how to go about asking for abortion advice or where to place it on here. I may have to travel out of state to have it done, I plan on talking to the doctor about it when I get to go get everything officially confirmed and presented with my options.
The same thing you wrote here, put it on a note and give it to her when you see her.
She never changed it. She just stopped lying to herself. Super out of pocket to suggest she was cheating..
No one’s judging her choice to keep it lmao, did you even read my comment? They are judging the hypocrisy of her comment, especially when there are no rules on abortion in the Bible, but sex out of wedlock is strictly forbidden in almost every major religion. Being spiritual and religious are 2 different things, if she was spiritual she could have said it was becuase of her personal beliefs, but to say it was religious means she’s most likely referring to a very large organized religion
What if objectively, it is true that the ex is more attractive objectively, and nice too, how should a current partner react? Should one pretend that is not the case?
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You weren’t in love then but you still agreed to be exclusive, which he now admits he never wanted and actually just used as a tool to manipulate you into being exclusive while he fucked around. He lied to you, he cheated on you, he manipulated you, and he apparently didn’t bother getting tested for STDs despite a history of sex with strangers. This is not someone who cares about you or your well-being. Real love has a solid foundation with honesty and intimacy, not this relationship of straw and lies that he has built. If your other relationships were worse than this, that just says that you’ve had a lot of bad relationships, not that this relationship is good.
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She is mixing old memories , a time with no responsibilities and happiness and projecting at the present. People and situations change, and almost 99% of the times is better to live there those memories ,because obviously to try a second time after 20 years and a full life is going totally wrong. Fast forward she divorce , got with the guy and the childish expectation got derailed. Then one day you got a phone call from her to make another try because she found out that she really love you. You are only a spare tyre and deserve your life to be lived in full, take care of your kids and in front of them act empathetic.
Yep! My guy best friend swears up and down his ex cheated on him and I’m like bffr, I saw tinder on your phone
4 years is a long time. She should know if he’s committed at this point or not. His uncertainty is troubling. I’m sorry.
That’s newspeak.
Really thought: why is OP trolling the history? OP if the shoe fits….
16 yrs with an emotionally abusive spouse but he was t like that towards our kid and she wants a relationship with him so I did my time in therapy to find a way to be ok with it.
He’s basically only around for fun things and she’s ok with that. I only care if she happy and safe.
Is it fair? No. But life isn’t fair and people have different relationships inside a family structure. It’s not binary good/bad.
Don't confess your feelings or talk a bout relationships, or anythig like that. It will just put him on the spot.
Just ask him – “would you like to go out sometime? Maybe to xyz on fri eve?” If he doesn't accept or offer an alternative, then you have been friend-zoned, and can move on.
Just because you have sex with someone doesn’t mean you love them. You can fuck someone and really just be friends.
It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. Life is not that black and white. But if it’s not for you then it’s not. For me, having threesomes with my husband has made our marriage even more iron-clad and has reinforced that I love him more than I could ever love anyone else.
But it’s not for everyone and it’s not a single-layered situation.
Later, after her girlfriend had left, I pulled my sister aside to tell her that while I like her girlfriend a lot, it really hurt my feelings that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me. She told me that she does trust me, it’s just that this particular thing wasn’t hers to tell.
Your sister is correct. Maybe it's time to go NC with your parents.
If nothing is gonna happen because the opportunity wouldn’t arise then that’s a pretty sad relationship to be in, but hey, be happy, for me nothing should happen because we have moral standards. To each their own
That’s odd but whatever. Be honest, you’re just looking for an excuse because you’re not attracted to him..just end it
That's not how it works. Debt you have built before marriage is still yours.
L
Just rip the Bandaid
She's probably weirded out because she considered him an actual friend. Wouldn't be surprised if she's feeling a sense of betrayal and anger. While also thinking she somehow caused this.
She didn't. Crushes are normal enough. He shouldn't have confessed. He could have moved on without needing to tell her. Let alone doing it behind your back.
OP, I’ve been in your shoes. When my brother got married, my sister and I weren’t part of the wedding party either, while both of my SILs siblings were in the bride & groom party. It fucking hurt. It made me question my relationship with my brother. It made me wonder what I’d done wrong. It made me think that I wasn’t as important in my brothers life as he was in mine.
This was 9 years ago, and I’m still a bit sad when I think about it. However, I stashed all that emotion because that day was about him and his partner, not about the importance of familial relationships. There’s nothing to do but be there that day, offer to help in any way, and to celebrate the milestone in your brothers life. Being there in that capacity is just as important as standing up in the wedding party.
It’s ok to feel sad and left out, just don’t let it get in the way of your relationship with your brother and your soon to be SIL. There will be plenty of moments in the future where you’ll be part of very special events in their lives, and that DOES help ease the sadness you’re feeling now.
It's clear that he is flirting with her and making inappropriate comments. He doesn't sound like a friend, so why does she need to continue responding?
It sounds like your girlfriend doesn't do a good job at drawing boundaries. She can easily be direct that she has a boyfriend and his comments are inappropriate and she doesn't want to meet up with him in person or continue chatting.
Don’t just turn it off. Don’t just assume it’s a tic or a ritual.
Sit down and talk about it. Compromise. Remember, you can compromise as well by putting on some noice canceling headphones.
You can say something
So, by communicating.
All the comment you replied to suggested is “Talk to her” and you took issue with people telling him to communicate. But your advice is the same thing, just with more specific details.
So let him decide if he wants to take it or not. This isn't your decision to make and he shouldn't feel pressured into doing someone he's nervous about.
I just find it incredibly shallow of you. Are you going to ask him to get botox when he starts getting wrinkles too?
He wants to take it but is scared that’s why I came here
Get rid of cable and the internet. Cancel her mobile phone service. Tell her to move out and you're getting divorced.
We also used the pull out method after my 5 year old was born and it worked so we continued. I’m holding my unplanned 2 year old right now.
That is true, things like needing extreme amounts of patience, and having thick skin is something you'd need. Correct me if I'm wrong but what I'm discovering here is that another part of this would be when she makes a crude or in some words toxic joke she does it to make you laugh and wants you to keep going with the joke?
My understanding is that it can been seen as abandoning the marital property and have it be seen as the asset of the person that stayed.
Divorce her and leave. This is not healthy.
Your girlfriend obviously reacted super emotionally to this text. It's possible that overwhelmed her and she didn't actually read the message carefully. Or maybe the SIL'S text included some ambiguous phrasing that both of you interpretated differently.
Have you expressed to her that you'd like to go? Either to support her, to share the travel, or to be a part of her family events?
That was sexual assault.
“I'm not that invested.” I can't seem to figure out why she still doesn't see you as committed.
how can I even support his ask?
WHY would you want to?
He’s not a match for you.
Don’t downgrade who you are for any person. Find someone who likes you for you.
based on how he talked he seemed to have vendetta against “women” in general. Didn’t like my mom or sisters, or really any woman for no reason.
Please avoid any man in future with this mindset….
I always have handled everything, the kids are from my ex and I was doing 100% of everything back then. It's a nice relief now that my bf does a load of dishes or takes the trash out sometimes so I feel bad for complaining. He says he needs to help more but he has issues getting motivated.
The cuddles before sleep is all I want. I'm happy that you have found something that works for you. How did you reach that compromise?
I get men that message me live, work friends, people I've known a long time. I know the grass is greener and all that. But when they say they love cleaning and cuddling it makes me feel sad. They know I'm in a relationship and I tell them I'm not interested in them that way.
Yep it’s just too uncomfortable to keep on. It’s meant to make the partner excited and then it gets taken off.
Strange! Maybe I should delete the post and uninstall the app the re-install and repost?
No you can send boundaries, of what you are accepting and what you are not accepting and what are the consequences when the other person is breaking and playing with those boundaries. Rules is for yourself because guess what you are more strick with yourself than others. If you say that that behaviour I don't accept then that is a boundary and explaining that that behaviour has consequences to the other person then that is also a boundary.
Control goes when the other person is doing such things without a reason, because he wants to control the innocent person. Here she is totally not innocent. When someone is setting rules to you while you are innocent then you talk about control, but when you see a behaviour and you communicate that you don't accept that then that is a boundary.
You‘re literally a sick person. I have never blamed women for dating older men, I am blaming older men for preying on young women. Get the difference oh my god. Because of people like you, women end up in toxic and abusive environments and YES abusive partners also exist in every other age like early 20s (my abuser was the same age I was), but the chances of a woman being abused/manipulated/being treated poorly by older men in relationship dynamics is so much more likely. I have – and never will – drag women down for anything. Y‘all really act like a relationship between a 40 yo and 20 yo is normal, when it is NOT. You could literally be their mom/dad and that‘s fucking disgusting.
Is she an amazon?
You’re wasting your time
Your sister is being a jerk. Your grandma chose you, not your brother-now-sister.
This is no different than a kid threatening to hold their breath until they pass out. Let them.