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Just block him. You'll thank yourself later
Gut feeling.
No man wants to hear about his woman dreaming about having sex with their ex that was dumb ?
I’m sorry. But the truth is you’re probably not gonna be able to have both. If your boyfriend is already acting this way, he is not gonna be able to handle the many more years of school and residency you will have.
You will HAVE to put school first if you want to be a GOOD doctor. Your boyfriend does not understand that. He doesn’t understand your dream or the work it takes to achieve.
You are 20. At that age no relationship should come before your dreams for yourself. There will be other relationships, but if you don’t give it your all to achieve your dream you will regret it to the day you die.
Are you a normal human being? Relax
In that situation, I would get an abortion. But remember that decision is entirely your own so only do what you’re comfortable with. If you and this guy have only known each other two months and you already don’t like him, it probably won’t get better. I’m 24 and I know a lot of women my age that were in similar situations and every single one is either a single mom or in a very unhappy relationship with the father. It’s not guaranteed to not work out but with so many differences and you already having reservations about everything, it’s not looking good.
I know they'd be distraught. It wouldn't change anything with the siblings but it could cause major issues with their relationship with our mother. Thanks for the advice.
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Your husband needs to fix this. If he doesn't I would say to MIL 'MIL, I'm so glad that you were here for Xmas. It was lovely to have you here. I wasn't aware that husband had asked you to stay until baby arrived. I'm really needing some space ATM, so I'm going to take a break in a hotel until baby arrives.'
And if she is a decent human she will be shocked at her son, and leave.
I’m an independent contractor (somewhat). I have had times when I need to reduce my hours due to medical appointments. In 4 years I can count the times I was a no show. Juggling 5 clients and only getting paid when I work and wanting to maintain their trust, I would do just about anything to avoid calling in sick (unless it was the flu/Covid).
But im hoping it wont. I told him if he keeps watching AT then im gone. He hasn’t watched him since
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If you feel you need to spend some time living on your own before settling down, you should have that experience. It is part of growing up. I assume you don’t already have children together? If he loves you, he should want the best for you.
On a different note, you’re not married. What promises have you made to one another? In a healthy relationship, we want our partner to grow and reach their potential. We help each other reach our goals. Do either of you have goals you’re working toward?
Do what is right for you.
Honestly, this might make me a bad SO, but I never contact their job. If they have a medical emergency, they can’t be fired. Their employer is really not the focus of our life at that point, and when everything is over, then either they can give their job a full report and disclose as much as THEY want or I would contact them if they died.
I have medical emergencies now and then, and the things people who do this say to your employer disclose a lot about your personal life. I don’t need them to know I was put on a psych ward. They don’t have to directly say it, no blood, no guts, no stitches? Bruises? But gone for two weeks? Your job is not your SO’s responsibility and vice versa
You stop being friends with him.
You seriously look at your relationship, and if it can survive this.
Yes you were separated at the time, so it’s not cheating, but she slept with one of your ‘friends’, tried it with another, and to be honest how many other ‘friends’ did she either sleep with or try to that you don’t know about.
And the fact that she still has feelings for the other guy – how else do you explain her jealousy about her friend sleeping with him afterwards – is a massive problem for your marriage.
While probably not the best advice, I’d spend the next 3 years getting myself ready to divorce, savings in a separate account, a lawyer all teed up, a realtor to help sell the house etc.
Then after your son is 18, tell her that while she didn’t cheat all those years ago, her actions in targeting your friends was disgusting and disrespectful, and then the final act of betrayal, that after getting back together, she still had feelings about the friend she slept with. That you are leaving her, to find someone who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve, that you only waited until after your son turned 18, so that as an adult he can make his own decision about the divorce, and who he wants to support through the process.
Then offer her the chance to tell the truth about her actions to your son, that it took 18 years for her to realise that she did wrong and to tell you. If she doesn’t, then you tell him.
I was gonna say this, he DEFINITELY noticed her crying
Much appreciated. Thought so!
I make meals for my man and he's always grateful, if it's not to his liking or has a preference I'll usually ask before making the meal or we decide what we like and make the meal together. We also make a recipe that we both can learn from and tailor it if need be (we both love garlic for example but I like the extra spice in mine).
You need to absolutely stop cooking for him. He's ungrateful af. Those snarky comments would drive me up the wall. Don't shout or scream, just stop cooking for him. He can make his own lunches to his own liking
Thank you! Oh my goodness, my husband is so emotionally mat1ure. He helps me so much, but lately I'm feeling like I need a full counseling session after every visit with her, just to work out those issues! She really is growing but we clearly have such a messy history, we most likely won't be best friends in this life.
Thank you for the book recommendations. That will be helpful because therapy can be such an event, you know? There are some times I freak out when I see her in myself, but I do have to give myself some grace and often I am grateful that my kids get to hear me at least apologize, etc. I see my daughter now seem to have a desire/need to make me feel better and I am doing my best to remind her that my emotions are my deal and she can be ok even if I am not ok. That's a hard thing for a daughter/mother I think. I really want to get to a point where I can forgive her even though she will probably never apologize.
Have fun ruining your relationship and this man’s self esteem.
She doesn't owe you sex. If she did a certain sex act with another guy, she doesn't owe it to you to perform that act with you.
Talk to your fiancee and set some boundaries: “I am NOT OKAY with your brother showing up to our wedding in a clown suit. If this happens I WILL have security set to refuse him (along with anyone else not appropriately dressed) entrance. If he causes a scene he will be escorted off premises. If he resists the police will be called. This is non-negotiable. I do not care what kind of backlash this might cause with your family, I'm just not willing to allow this level of blatant disrespect. It's up to you whether or not you give him one last warning on the consequences.”
If she's not willing to back you up on this, you need to discuss cancelling the wedding.
The standard we walk past is the standard we accept.
I'm glad someone else thought this too lol
I don’t really know how to start that conversation. I just want him to look after himself a little better. In all aspects. As I’m sure he does for me.
100%. Needing to literally sneak off is terrifying. OP, you are a strong person for getting out and blocking him. I am glad to hear you are reaching out for support. I am also someone who has your back — I think a lot of us do. My DMs are always open.
“I wanted to dull my pain but in the end I didn't do it and that should be enough for you”
This
That’s awesome, you sound like a great match. All those things however are utterly irrelevant when it comes to exclusively visual stimulation, such as porn.
I’m sure you can admit that if your bf finds someone like you (who routinely passes off as a 19 year old) attractive, then surely it’s not the creepiest thing in the world if a guy finds a 19 year old porn star attractive?
No, you are reasonable. If you thought both of you are aleady emotionally involved with each other, then you are wrong, and he is willing to sabotage your thing to go and fuck other girl.
You should move on, and do not resume contact with him at any point in the future.
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Hey Reddit,
I'm a 27M and my girlfriend (27F) has a guy friend (let's call him Mark) that she texts fairly regularly on Instagram (a short catchup every 2 weeks). The messages seem mostly platonic, centered around job hunting since they're both applying in the same field. However, I recently found out that they used to sleep together and had “a thing” three years ago.
She explained that she got upset with Mark at the time because he didn't tell her he was sleeping with other girls, so she ended it. They reconnected a year later and have been friends ever since. She claims that there's no attraction between them anymore and that their friendship is purely platonic.
The messages that I saw were innocent, except for one where my girlfriend mentioned that Mark was in her dream. However, nothing escalated from that.
My concern is that my girlfriend never mentioned her past with Mark until now. I'm not sure how to feel about this and whether or not I should be worried. I trust my girlfriend, but I can't help feeling like there's more to this story.
What should I do? Should I be worried about their friendship, or is it just my own insecurity talking? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Edit: We have been together for 6 months.
I hate staying negative about it, but I'm at the stage where I'm a little resentful. So, yeah, kinda maybe is.
You would encourage this at the age of 4 & 6 or do you mean when they are older?
You never said that in your post, and one pic? You’ve been dating over a year and you have one pic with her yet she’s comfortable enough to start a fitness page yet not take a second picture with you? Really???
When tf did playing pool and listening to comedy become male only ?!
Engineering, I know a girl who studied this, only girl in the class, they were all horrible to her.
She now has a very lucrative job and flies all round the world and loves it. She says even now she finds those ass holes who don’t think she should be in her job.
renter without a lease.
Thank you, I definitely agree that it's harder for me to make a support system when we are always together… I think I've been wishing for him to break up with me so I don't feel so much guilt about it. But I know I can't do that.
Sounds like the red flags spat and punched you in the face and still you pretended they didn't exist. I don't know what to tell you, you know this marriage sucks and it will not get better. Learn from your mistake, accept that when you see red flags in a person you should move on no matter how much you like them, divorce her and start again. Don't stay, you still have a chance at happiness.
Anyone asking for a ‘break’ just means they’re looking for someone else. And if that doesn’t work, they can come back. License to cheat. Screw that. You are young….go out and have fun.