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Dereck and Steban Couple, 21 y.o.
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A baby is not always a blessing, I hate this thinking.
This is how crazy looks like
why don't you just let your gf meet this female friend of yours and then maybe it will make her more comfortable
Then tell her that.
When i have topped i think its nice to see their reaction. Like all my feedback for what im doing that works or doesn’t work is gonna be on my partners face
You two are not in financial agreement. The things that break up a marriage is sexual and financial incompatibility.
If you give in on this she will continue to make financial irresponsible decisions. As far as down-payment on a car when you are both in so much debt is already incredibly irresponsible.
You two need to sit down and discuss how you see your future together and how you are both going to fund it. Even if she is a SAHM that is contributing to the household and isn't insignificant. But if she is what else will she be doing? As in how else will she be spending money for that, some moms need a deep cleaning of the house once a week or every two weeks (after a c-section she shouldn't be worried about getting on her hands and knees to scrub the bathrooms) maybe she needs yoga or gym membership to get out of the house and feel human. Whatever it might be for the both of you.
If she isn't willing to do this and if at the end of it your pictures look nothing alike. You two either need couples counseling (not to be a b1tch but it sounds like she is super spoiled for an ultimatum like that and needs therapy herself) before you continue or you'll end up paying far more for a contentious divorce when you have had enough of the issues you two didn't settle before you got married.
For his future relationships, you might want to tell him, but I don't think you owe it to him.
Does he really not know how his mother acts?
Some people have a strong smell whatever they do. It is something red-haired often hears. I have heard African people saying Europeans smell like corpses.
Your bf may be really conscious of the problem, and terribly hurt because there is nothing she can do. So be sweet when going on the subject.
“I don't want to destroy everything”
A little late now.
Tell your wife, she deserves the right to know the kind of piece of shit she's married to.
Well, if someone here were to tell you that she's right, and that every women should be considered as the “prize” in a relationship, would you believe it anyway ?
As I'm quite sure everyone told you already, yes, breaking up is the best, it seems clear you're not the one for her, and sh'es not the one for you.
This is bullshit, IMO.
You don’t control HER, but you do control whether or not you accept a partner who seems to be in a relationship elsewhere.
Set the boundary as others have mentioned and stand firm. You should be number 1
Something i told my husband is…if you treat me like im your mother…then no more sex ?♀️ moms dont f*ck their kids (in a healthy non abusive relationship)
Made him reconsider, real quick how he was treating me and how much stuff he was willing to do around the house. ?♀️
Dont keep treating him like a husband when he doesnt even treat you like an equal partner. Match his energy.
And figure out some way that you can get out. Even if it means moving back in with your parents. Dependence on your parents, is better than being abused.
Please. Get. Out.
Maybe explain that it's just hormones and PMS? That could be something she might understand and it'a a reason instead of “i don't know” which she doesn't seem to like
Run
OP, you've chosen your preferred family and it's not your mom. You should tell her that you're keeping contact with your father, block her on all social media (and for the love of god make sure your father and co block her as well) and let her move on as much as she can.
For god's sake, let her finally be free from this sham of a relationship.
You don't have to be attracted to trans people. That isn't transphobic.
Get a new bf that isn’t immature af
This will get tougher when he gets married and has his first child. The relationship between you and him is over. Just make sure he prioritizes his son and doesn’t forget him. He may have a new woman in his life but his son needs to be a mainstay in his life.
Omg, get a paternity test now for when he needs to pay you child support.
My youngest kid doesn’t look anything like me or my ex husband but I know 100% he came out of me and he’s 10.
No easy way to do it. Just rip the bandage off and ask
She's a grown ass woman. She's responsible for her own feelings and emotions. Don't put it on the OP.
If you want to stick with her, put your foot down and tell her to stop trying to give vicariously through your pockets. She makes 70k a year, that's more than enough to send her family a grand a month since you guys are splitting expenses. You are under no obligation to give her family money, especially when she's volunteering you and not putting that burden on herself.
Yes that is probably so. It doesn't mean that someone who was initially settling can't become number 1. However he isn't treating you with necessary respect and does not put effort to get over her. He would have to put distance between them not becuase of your jealousy, but to be able to properly move on.
It's so crazy to me. Reading this in my room at almost 4am, realizing there's someone out there who loves herself so little she stays with the guy you mentioned above rather than be alone. It's like.. I'm reading some kind of horror fiction writer by what I imagine your preteen self would dream up.
I hope you find someone who sees you and loves you for you.
Well for one, sounds like thru barely know each other, and two he wants to keep asking and harassing her until she says yes. So yeah, he should stop now because it's pathetic.
It is a great life lesson which takes some longer to learn than others but one that often needs a reminder: Just because someone does something in a different way to you do not make them wrong.
You can be right all the time, or you can be married. The two do not go together. Learning compromise, give and take and just keeping your thoughts to yourself are great tools in married life.
Sounds like she is with you for safety.
You should be concerned. That reason only works so long.
I’m sorry but how in God’s green earth can the nail clippings get in her unattended coffee, every single time?
Do you really think her husband happens to want to clip is nails during those times, every time? How often do you think that happens? He’d have no nails at this point.
Either way, I suspect husband is purposely puts nail clipping in her
Look, your friend inadvertently hurt your feelings. It happens. However, you may want to take a nude look at yourself and ask how many people actually give enough of a fuck to try and help me.
Because if your burn down friendships at the drop of a hat every time you have a disagreement or a fight, your 40s are going to be very, very lonely.
He needs to immediately get a part time job to start replacing that money!!! The AUDACITY of his leeching… wow.
Flirting is one thing but suggesting getting a hotel room is too much, if that part wasn't there I'd say forgive and forget but that's waaaay over the line. Probably shouldn't go back to that relationship.
If you take her back then you're telling her that cheating isn't a deal breaker…..cheating should always be a deal breaker
So? He was involving you in his kink without your consent, you tried to close the door and he is telling you your boundaries ar not valid and that if you do not do something you are not ok with your relationship is over. That is abusive. He is trying to blame shift. Yeah you looked at his phone so what? He was hiding something from you that can and could be a deal breaker.
Rape isn't even in the same ballpark as cheating. It's nowhere near close to the same thing and thinking so is how women get killed. So thanks for helping that to happen!
I've been where you are, not knowing that someone was using you to cheat. It's such an awful feeling. It eats at you. Even more because you don't even get the choice in the first place AND get assigned blamed afterwards! It really impacts your ability to trust, and I'm so, so sorry OP. 🙁
If this goes to court how will she explain to the court that she delivered these kids and not inform him of it and in fact had moved and blocked him from contacting her? How will this be seen as whats in the best interest of the kids? Its a pretty nude to defend position in my opinion.
yeh I get that, I’ve never been in this position before so I was reevaluating my boundary to see if it was too rigid. And yes his stance on exes did feel hypocritical and I brought that up. He replied by saying that that’s fair and he’s fine with me being in touch with an ex then as he wants to be able to keep this female friend of his
I know this is nude but, I’d advocate for changing your response because you’re unlikely to change her behavior.
Option 1: Cut her off “I love you and I know pregnancy anxiety is scary for you. However, when you are anxious and express it by saying, “you better not have gotten me pregnant!!” I feel defensive and unappreciated for having a vasectomy. I dislike those conversations every time they happen and it’s damaging how I feel about us. I don’t want that. I need those conversations to stop happening. I know it’s naked for you not to say that to me when you’re worried or frustrated about the risks. I wish I didn’t feel bad when you talk about it but I do. So Im asking you to talk to someone else about those feelings, not to me. And when you say those comments in the future, I’m either not going to respond, or I’ll leave the room, or I’ll change the subject. I’m not up for talking about possible pregnancies unless there’s a positive pregnancy test to talk about.”
Might seem harsh but might be your only way out.
Option 2: Treat it lightly Accept that this has nothing to do with you and there’s nothing for you to fix or solve. You hear her anxiety and you try to fix it, but she keeps bringing it up, so it’s like she’s telling you that you failed to fix it even though you got the vasectomy. Then you’re uncomfortable with feeling criticized.
She also won’t fix it through hormonal birth control. (You could suggest one more thing – a nonhormonal IUD but she’ll probably be scared of that too.)
This is kinda classic personality/gender differences. She may just be asking to be heard, or be making conversation by kvetching about something; she’s not really mad at you and not really asking for solutions. She’s anxious or bored and her brain goes back to this small but life-altering risk periodically.
You could just respond to the anxiety and move on/distract her: “Dude, that would be surprising and scary, you’re right! Hey, do you want tacos for lunch?”
You could joke it off and interrupt the anxiety spiral with absurdity or humor: “Nooo, you better not have gotten me pregnant!” “If I did get you pregnant, I hope it’s the next Jesus!” “And you better not have gotten me a shark attack!! [something low-risk that you sometimes fear]!”
Be absurd or lighten the mood maybe. Risky but can break a pattern you don’t like. Make a game of trying to get her to laugh instead on reasoning with fears.
Or, be vulnerable with your feelings instead. Ask for I-statements: “Babe, you’re allowed to freak out about pregnancy. It’s really unlikely but would be a big deal. But please stop saying “you better not have gotten me pregnant!” like you’re mad at me. It feels mean. It confuses me and hurts my feelings. Say, “I’m anxious about pregnancy again!” or anything you’re trying to express, but by using your I statements. I’ll gladly give you a hug or anything you need to feel better.”
How did she find out? Omg. That's heinous
Your friend is acting like a child. Christ.
It’s quite simple really: she‘s made it very clear that she has more than professional/friendship in mind and has stated this in pretty explicit words. Thus it is up to him to set very clear boundaries if he’s going to respect his relationship with OP.
I would just take whatever number he throws, look like you're doing some math in your head and let him know that, taking that off the bill for your hourly rate of babysitting a man-child, his bill with you is down to just $25