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Unfortunately the only option here is too break up. You're young, these things happen.
You can't wait for years hoping she might change her mind. If you're already looking at settling down for your future, it needs to be with someone who shares your values and goals for the future.
You’re right. This breaks my heart.. I wanted to ask him for a convo to see if I did anything wrong. He was hardly expressive with his emotions and if I did anything wrong he wouldn’t tell me
Tell him you'll leave him if he can't cut back on the drinking or quil altogether. And if he still doesn't take the drinking seriously, that tell you what he thinks of you.
I find excessive drinking repulsive, too.
Everyone here is telling you to break up and move out right now but you seem to have a good grasp of things.
Consult with a divorce lawyer before acting in any way that shows you are the one abandoning the marriage.
That’s 100% what’s causing your blackouts.
huge red flag if that’s how he talks about women
What's illegal?