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Birth Date: 2000-10-21
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Subculture: subcultureRomantic
“And I'm scared after the rough year that we had…” Why the fuck are you getting married if you had a rough year? Time to reevaluate getting married unless you want a rough life.
Also, you come off a guilty. If you didn't cheat, it's a non-issue. In the event that you REALLY didn't cheat and he accuses you, then you're better off without him.
You need to talk with your family. Work through a viable exit plan for both of you, before the chat.
Explain the situation to him and show him this post.
Basically all he needs to say to your dad is that he loves you and that it's a serious relationship where he fully intends to ake care of you, and marry you someday.
Here's the thing though. If he's too stubborn or pigheaded to not do this simple thing, you might want to reconsider moving in with him. It would be a clear sign he's not willing to adapt a little to fit on with your family, and if you're close to them it'll cause long term issues.
A wedding is as cheap or as expensive as you make it. Ours was nowhere near $35K even with 105 guests.
Your partner is lower-middle class living an upper class life. It’s not normal to take out a loan for a wedding. The point of a wedding is that you get married to your life partner and not to piss away all your money for one party. Financial differences are the number one cause of divorce. You sound like a reasonable person. Your partner does not. End it before you get married.
thank you! im just nervous what’ll happen u know. if a guy wants to he will right
OP was wanting to talk about her ex and lied to us off the bat
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If a guy said this about hitting his girl who was triggering him, everyone would freak out.
OP made a mistake, apologize and move on.
She said she resents you. Her life blew up and she in turn blew yours up.
I am sooooooo sorry OP but you can't live! like this. You need to make a decision. Are you in couples therapy together?
You can't allow this evil woman to destroy your life. She is not your friend. She wants your life, (things/money/materialistic) what you invested in and earned.
You and your husband can make it. It feels awful, you feel betrayed, you feel like everything is a lie and your self-esteem is in hell but I want you to name all the things that are currently true: you have an amazing life, you love your life, you love your family, you are a team, no one has the authority to open hell in “my” (your) house, this will not break us, I will not loose to my vindictive friend. I will get myself esteem back. I am valued and valuable. I am beautiful and worthy of pure love. I am the embodiment of hope. I deserve to be love purely and wholly. I am the creator and giver of good things for myself and my family. I will not let anyone steal what I've worked naked to build. I will look for wolves in sheep clothing masking as friends and family. …
Keep affirming yourself and don't lose to that woman.
I can say that it doesn't feel very intimate when someone will jerk off every single night if you say no, so in either way, they're dumping a load and it doesn't matter how they do it as long as they do it.
I can almost guarantee that is how she feels.. like she's just somewhere to dump.
He wanted to sexually assault you until he learned you carry pepper spray?? WTF?! And he tells you this like it’s no big deal? Run far far away from this person.
this was super valuable before the 1800s when proper generalized anesthesia was invented
You need to figure out if you're not actually interested in her romantically/sexually. If thats the case, you should break things off sooner rather than later. Its disrespectful to both of you to continue things that way. You cant “ruin” a romance that never existed. Insecurity could be a factor, but only you know whether or not you're attracted to her in the first place.
The conversation can go the other direction – where you tell her that you want to try being closer physically and want to see how she feels about that. If you're both on the same page then taking the next step is pretty straightforward.
Lord…why would you want to stay with him after this.
Sounds like human trafficking
My husband doesn’t drive and gets rides home from work. 90% of the time it’s one specific guy, but sometimes it’s random people (men or women) and it’s literally never occurred to me to be bothered or double-check who’s driving him home for those 5-10 minutes.
It definitely won’t be the doom of our relationship. I’m very committed. It’s just an aspect that has been lacking, so I’m trying to figure out how to improve it. When we talked about expectations a couple weeks ago, he said “I’ll make it up to you” so that’s why I expected a change by the next gift giving event.
There are no guarantees in life. What if it's OP and his wife that break up? Do the parents get to demand they be cordial forever?
Just let him go. You're only going to make things worse if you try to stay in his life and help. He needs to move on and you need to let him.
Wrong sub, this relationship advice not AITA xD
I would say you’re spot on with the hanging out at the house and drinking wine. Sometimes card games. But tends to be a lot of talking about their jobs, drama and other things.
We are going to a cabin next weekend to go skiing for two nights. Should be fun. Im a big snowboarder and they haven’t gone much more than 2-3 times in their life on average so I’ve already talked to the fiancé and told her im going on my own runs just so I can clear my head during the day. She was supportive and told me they’d hang in the lodge and drink very hot cocoa lol.
On the times we “go out” they end up on the dance floor twerking on each other and I sit at the bar and make friends with the other guys who aren’t into the club music and subwoofers. I dance with my fiancé when she drags me out on the floor of course… unless it’s at a country bar where I take her out every song cause I know she likes to dance especially to that. I learned how to get out of the two left boot mindset cause she likes to dance. Plus, find it pretty fun myself.
If she was paying rent I'd say she would have a right not to allow someone inside the home. Certainly in her room, there's no reason you should be taking your SO into someone else's room regardless.
Ultimately it may be best (for you) to just wait. She likely will do whatever she can to sabotage your new relationship when you two come over if she is there. I'd just explain the situation to your partner, if they're reasonable they'll get it.
Dude, end it once and for all. She knows how to play your emotions like a fiddle. Block her COMPLETELY, and move on. She’s disrupting your ability to move on successfully. End it and forget it. She will never stop and she’s counting on you getting tired and settling. Don’t go there!
so don't have kids yet
I wonder how their places of employment would handle it if they found out they are Nazi’s sympathizer? What about C’s family? Maybe they can talk some sense into her.
Who cares
But doing this is actual fraud. Utterly terrible advice.