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I think bringing up the long-term goal of children on the 4th date is fine, if you are looking for a long-term partner. With you being together for three months, I think he doesn't feel too secure yet in the relationship and is therefore not keen on an “oops” baby or miracle or whatever anyone wants to call an accidental pregnancy. I would really just sit him down and ask him again about it, if he has changed his mind in general or if the mentioned above thing is a fear of him. You are already being very safe and responsible (which I highly admire!) by using more than one form of contraception so I don't see how he would suspect that you would try to trick him to get pregnant. Something doesn't add up here, I agree with you.
Don’t pursue her and move on. If she’s telling you that now, then you’re always going to wonder if she’d rather be with him.
Tell her it’s recent ?
I understand you two have been through a lot but the whole “one trust issue” is not a good idea, you’ll feel uncomfortable about opening up to him and it will only cause more issues down the line
yeah, When I considered leaving so that i could have a marriage and baby I had to ask myself if I wanted a baby without my partner. The whole reason I wanted one is because I could see my partner as a good father/husband. I didn't want to “just have a baby”. Your wife may be struggling with the same question. Since you've been together so long, you might not be separating your own desires as individuals from what you want as a couple.
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Your wife is a hoe. No offense, but I was also married to a hoe. She cheated on me multiple times, cried her way back, and I also talked big for a while with her about rebuilding trust to try to save the marriage. I resent myself to this day for being a doormat for so long and not ending the marriage after the first time.
She won’t change. If you forgive her, she will see you as a doormat and likely do it again eventually. Separate and online together if you have to, but don’t let her cry her way back to you. She killed the marriage when she said she wanted to explore being with a woman and used the permission to find another man to go up her ass.
The thing is, there is no way of tracking how many unmarried relationships result in breakups, because those relationships aren’t tracked. We don’t even know what percentage of romantic relationships marriages are.
You’ve given us practically nothing to work it. Go see a doctor, you can lose fertility any time for so many reasons. That is the only advice, don’t jump to conclusions because you will just make an ass of yourself.
To be fair, he’s been trying really hot to make it happen since we first started having sex. And maybe ‘inconsolable’ isn’t the right word. He isn’t throwing a tantrum or anything, it just seems to be something that he keeps thinking about and is actively trying to work through but doesn’t know how, since he doesn’t know why he feels this way. On one hand, I want to try to help him get over it but on the other, I’m offended that he feels ‘hurt’ about it to begin with.
This is an extremely common question for your age group. I think you should send her a text…
Hey, I'm not sure if you are on the same page as me or not but I've started developing feelings for you that are more than just friends. Would you like to go on a real date with me? Are you free Friday?
Keep it short and to the point. Be prepared, she might very well say she doesn't want to complicate the friendship.
Do not wimp out!! That is really the only bad outcome to this. Even the negative outcome is positive in its own way. It frees you to move on and think about other people. If you don't do it, you will always regret it.
Good luck!!
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No, but you would have to learn HER native language in order to actually meet in the middle. And all she wants is to be able to text it in your native language. Why would she go through the stress and complexity and exert all the mental energy that goes into not only communicating while upset, but while doing it in a language that she doesn’t think in, when you’re doing nothing that’s considerate of her? Her whole existence is already being poured into her body building your child cell by cell, and you can’t let her text her thoughts in the translation into your native language? You need her to do that translation in real time, after doing something you already knew would upset her?
Just an FYI, one of the biggest hurdles in couples who have kids divorcing that they can’t get past is the resentment a lot of women hold from a time period during their pregnancy, birth, or in the two years following where they felt like when they were at their most vulnerable, their partner showed her that she couldn’t trust them to prioritize her needs or protect her interests. So you may want to stop being intentionally dense on this, and start fixing this. This is a time period you won’t get back. She will never need you as much as she does right now. And therefore if you don’t treat it with the delicacy it deserves, she will never really forget how you treated her when she was most in need of your protection. So if I were you, I’d put my pride aside and step up and start acting like she didn’t make a mistake in the partner she chose for this part of her life…
Honestly, this will be a CONSTANT thing in the relationship. If she sets boundaries about that, there will be other boundaries from her family that she will have to set. IF she sets them. But the thing is, culturally, there's a big gap here. If all of a sudden she drops it, don't expect, when y'all are married, for her not to bring it up again.
There might be a real possibility that you will be beholden to her families whims for the rest of y'all's lives. Hopefully not, but family ties are the most important in the culture.
Also, the way she's acting right now is not conducive to a healthy relationship. She didn't get her way, so now she's treating you differently. If she usually gets her way, and you haven't seen her when she doesn't get her way a bunch, then you might not know how she acts in those situations.
Congrats on the raise 🙂 Good luck.
If she feels that way, what is she going to do about it?
Women will accept pretty much any man as long as he treats her right. How do I know this? Well…look around, most women don’t end up with Prince Charming.
If a heterosexual man is having trouble on the dating scene he’s either treating women rudely and disrespectfully or only going for women who are out of his league.
Women will accept pretty much any man as long as he treats her right. How do I know this? Well…look around, most women don’t end up with Prince Charming.
If a heterosexual man is having trouble on the dating scene he’s either treating women rudely and disrespectfully or only going for women who are out of his league.
Legit question. He can’t seem to say who is more important.
If a person talks about another person a lot, such as finding “every” opportunity to mention them, it means they have strong feelings towards that person. Your fiancé is probably still in love with his ex.
With that being said, though, I can see why he got angry. You asked him a question you kind of already knew the answer to, got your answer and then told him you were hurt by it, which made him feel like an a-hole for being honest with you.
But bottom line is: he still loves his ex and you should break up (or at least not get married) because in his eyes you are not the prize, but the replacement.
Cool. Don't waste a year of yours and anyone else's life in a relationship that has “red flags”.
You all sound absolutely wonderful! Wishing y’all the best ?