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Thank you, this gave me a different perspective of what really happened.
It’s not controlling. It’s a respect issue. It is naked for some of us to spend time with another’s children when we are not able to see our own. It makes us feel bad that we can’t see our own kids. I have gotten more used to seeing my GF kid when mine aren’t around, but it is still in the back of my mind that I wish I was with my mids
If you lose him, you do not lose everything. You lose somebody who would be happy to undercut you for their own gain. Med school is extremely rigorous and taxing for the healthiest of relationships. That is not even to speak of residency, which is even harder. He will be trying to compromise your efforts the entire way.
With friends and boyfriends like those, who needs enemies?
If you lose him, you do not lose everything. You lose somebody who would be happy to undercut you for their own gain. Med school is extremely rigorous and taxing for the healthiest of relationships. That is not even to speak of residency, which is even harder. He will be trying to compromise your efforts the entire way.
With friends and boyfriends like those, who needs enemies?
I mean she has a better relationship with my dad than I even do but I don’t fall into the relationship patterns she does so I don’t know if that’s really the core of the problem
Ugh that’s what I’m afraid of. I will say they are younger than me, I’m ten years older than my boyfriend so I thought maybe I’m just being old fashioned and not open minded. All of my friends have told me to get out of it. I just really love him and he’s so sweet. Probably too sweet aka letting ex-wife make the (poor) decisions. Thanks for responding.
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Just telling your partner they should think about losing weight isn’t a negative. You should be looking out for each others health. What you say and how you say it is the point in question.
What’s wrong with your face if you don’t mind me asking? I’m sure your beautiful inside and out
It’s funny because she’s literally giving fuck gifts.
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Lololol, if only this were actually true. There are PLENTY of low libido males out there
100% he’s covering his bases in case something gets back to gf
Your lucky you aren’t in jail. You assaulted her.
Hopefully she left you because that’s unacceptable.
Time to seek therapy
Her behaviour was full of red flags but you WANTED to believe the obvious lies she gave, instead of ending it. You should be angry at yourself.
I'm 33, and I would still leave. They've talked about what he's into before, and she still doesn't want to, which is fine. However, she shouldn't be mad about him masturbating.. The only time porn and masturbation should be a problem in a relationship is if either party spends more time doing that than their partner imo.
As someone whose been in the situation, it all happens really fast. I'm a polyamorous person but dated someone who was only in monogamous relationships and thought in theory having such fluid sexuality was every man's dream, until the moment he experienced fluid sexuality. The kissing everything clothed was great, the moment clothes starting coming off in a dark room everything changed for him. He was trying to hide it as I don't even think he was in the position to process his emotions at the time and next thing you know it's approx 60 seconds later in near total darkness and he's saying “wait stop” at that point things were happening. Despite us stopping the moment he said that it was a “the damage is done” kind of thing. As someone who has always been poly and always plans to be, and someone who realized in that moment he never wanted anything non monogamous again we decided a relationship between us was probably not best and ended it. So unfortunately it's very very possible that before he could even process his own feelings, things had happened that hurt him
Why? Isn't it just taking turn fucking two women and eating them out/fingering? Sounds more physically strenuous but not crazy.
yes, it is our apartment. I moved to PA a little before we got married. My whole family is in TX.
Stopping sex when you’re triggered is fine. Doing something to someone without their consent is not.
Stopping sex when you’re triggered is fine. Doing something to someone without their consent is not.
Stopping sex when you’re triggered is fine. Doing something to someone without their consent is not.
Don't marry someone who has this age gap. Especially not when he dated you as a minor.
Stop it, he's a predator.
??
Thank you I will
It's something he suspects, as he was experiencing several episodes of mania/depression during his adult life. Currently he's waiting for his diagnosis on this. Right now he just came out of a episode of depression and shows symptoms of hypomania (it's not something I say, but he suspects himself)
You lost your bet, I’m sorry.
You said nothing i didn’t know. My point stands that if she still decides to be with him you can do nothing at all because she is an adult.
Agreed. White potatoes with their jacket are very healthy and full of nutrients. Yes, sweet potatoes are a different t food and so they have some different nutrients, but one is not healthier than the other. Sweet potatoes actually have slightly more calories (114 for 1 cup sweet potatoes vs 100 for 1 cup white potatoes). Sweet potatoes do have slightly more fiber.
White potatoes have some weirdly bad press because people just think about the oil they are fried in or the butter they are served with.
It's only been a week and you're already doubting whether or not she's telling the truth. It's not going to get easier.
Reasonable people can disagree on how to feel about being friends with exes, but this age gap is pretty predatory. You’ve been dating a teenager for a year and half when you’re a full-grown adult.
Comfortable cuddling between friends is definitely a thing. That said, it is important to keep in mind what that will look like for either of your potential partners, if you're serious about not pursuing each other.
Otherwise, may both of you enjoy the calm physical comfort that so many humans could benefit from.
This is guilty deflecting. 100%. The answers that aren’t answers. The anger and accusatory tone to make you feel like you’re in the wrong. She knows she’s wrong and she’s trying to deflect from it. I’ve been her. Everything you’re saying about her behavior is 100% guilty. Even if it’s just flirtatious messages.
Most importantly who do you want to dance with? Or maybe do a half and half and include both, but only if you want to. You are not obligated to dance with anyone. Regardless it will a short few minutes of your hubby and MiL dancing and then it will be over. Don’t stress this much over something that is only a few minutes out of your entire life
At least she waited for OP's son to turn 18 before spilling the beans. Also doubt OP would have ever told him the truth. I think her sister sucks, but her suckage doesn't absolve OP of her own suckage. The cat is out of the bag, and now OP has to try to rebuild trust which will be naked since the entire story is fucked up. OP dumped her childhood sweetheart / current husband to marry a rich man while still banging her now husband and then tried to play off their affair babies as the rich man's and then lying to her son who remembers his first dad to an extent. I think what OP did is every man's worse fear and to know his parents are like that will be a naked thing to get over.
When people are into you they make an effort to see you. They can't wait! So excited ? she is using the “I'm not into you excuses starter pack”
Sounds like it’s time to break up.
Holy shit he sounds awful. You deserve much much better, you are so young. Leave this looser. DO NOT MARRY HIM.
nothing like that. we mostly texted and only hung out in person a few times. very casual. she didn't give me a reason. i gave her a small bday gift and then she said “let's just stay professional” and i assumed that meant being friendly coworkers again. im mostly confused not mad at her so i didn't react angrily. just said okay no naked feelings.
It's the best thing you could do for yourself and for her. She's not an invalid… She needs to figure her shit out
Ask if she wants to compete with you? See how many girls you get vs how many guys she gets! Why would you purposely lead innocent people on?
I’m not sure if almost breaking up 3 times is normal 8 months in a relationship.
It's not.
But I can’t forgive him for anything in my mind. I always have this feeling that he doesn’t truly want me. That he is using me to get over his ex.
You don't trust him after 8 months. Also, not being able to forgive a partner is a huge issue if you want the relationship to last. Everyone fucks up. No point spending forever with someone you're constantly angry at.
I’m not sure if I like his personality anymore.
You don't even like him most of the time.
It's only been 8 months. Break up.
He was laughing with his friends that doesn't indicate he was mocking you at all.
Use that savings for a good attorney.
This is something a have seen numerous times. It is okay for a partner to honestly be uncomfortable, even to the point of breaking up, with someone who transitions. They can and should be respectful, but the transitioning person has to also accept this without denigrating them as a terrible person or “anti-trans,” which is unfair.
You both need to stop asking these stupid teenage questions.
Nothing to worry here. Why should she tell you when it was by purpose? And also her explanation makes sense to me.
Google the “pursuer-distancer dynamic”. The tl:dr is that a lot of relationships get stuck in a pattern where one partner puts in a lot of effort and chases the other for attention, while the other is quite comfortable being chased or prefers to process their thoughts etc. alone. If this imbalance is entrenched it apparently forecasts the end of the relationship. What tends to happen is that the pursuer eventually gets fed up and starts to live their own life, thus becoming the distancer and the roles will snap reverse as the original distancer becomes the pursuer because they are panicking that their partner is fed up and pulling away. But it’s usually too little too late. Ask yourself if you are happy to be the pursuer indefinitely – because if you relent and go back to chasing him the original dynamic will return without serious effort from you both to change it.
He deflecting his behavior on you. He’s cheating. Don’t move
I work 37 hours a week, him I’m not sure because where he works from home he doesn’t really keep track. He has his own business . We split the down payment and split the mortgage payment 50/50 so he contributes maybe 300 extra a month towards bills
Girl what? First of all, stop getting back together with her. It’s obviously not working.
Second, what are you doing disrespecting her boundaries if you “love” her so much?
Third, she resents you for a good reason. Let her go and work on yourself.
I think i’m just tired of trying to prove something to him or fixing the problem myself that I just want to really trust that his “solution” will finally be the end all be all
Because you're trying to prove something he already knows and is refusing to acknowledge. If he acknowledged that you aren't crazy and she is definitely crossing boundaries, he would be forced to create distance between them. He doesn't want to create distance between them, so he simply refuses to acknowledge it. Look up the term “gaslighting”. He is denying an obvious reality in order to manipulate you into accepting the situation. That is his “solution”. Rather than making her to respect appropriate boundaries, he is trying to make you accept her lack of boundaries.
Im glad Im not the only one that thinks this… Both parties are immature and both cant bother commuinicate how the other one feels. His ego was bruised with no help from his friends and hers is because someone else found his dating profile. SMH
Im so scared to leave and I don’t know why. Tomorrow he’ll say sorry but I just want to be loved every day without wondering if it’s going to be consistent or not