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Custody always defaults to the mother If there is a dispute.
This is just a straight up lie. I work in the family courts.
From everything you’ve said, it seems that She has literally raised him to be an extension of herself with no actual life. I know what that type of mom is like and this seems like it’s on a completely other level, he’s brainwashed full stop. He needs to get help and realize he is in a toxic codependent relationship with his mom that will only continue to erode his future and any romantic relation he wants to have.
I’m serious. This is a huge deal. He should not drag you down with him just because he’s trapped, with a toxic mother who has made it impossible for him to imagine a life without her presence, even if you’re there. If you can get him help and to realize that his relationship with his mom is insanely toxic, which includes moving out, then he can be saved. But if he’s this unable to change and separate from his mom like it seems, then this is a loss cause and you deserve better.